I know how the title seems, but this entry is not what it seems. Yes, this is my first entry ever. First, My thanks to everyone at LPSG I am not sure I would be surviving the quarantine without this site! Thanks to all my "friends" that I have conversations with frequently. I feel lucky and blessed to have you in my life.
At the beginning of the quarantine, I joined Kindle Unlimited so I could read whenever I wanted. The genre I picked was Young Adult M/M Gay Romance. Mostly stories about senior boys coming out and finding another boy to have a first relationship with. I have been trying to write one of these myself I thought it would be good to read them. I have probably read 50-60 of these books by now. Sadly, I am still single.
Part of the reason I am single is that when I had the chance to be with the love of my life, I chickened out and let him get away. He wanted me to quit my job and move to where he taught at a Uni. I guess since him I have dated a bit, but nothing serious more like a fuck buddy thing. As I have read these books and faced my singleness head on I started to be 3 years old again and ask God to bring me a man. That has been going on for a couple of weeks now.
This morning as I was reading again about teenage angst and teenage M/M love. I stopped and had a conversation with God. I decided if I was throwing this out there and all I was asking for was a man, I thought maybe I should be a little more specific. Now I don't know if you believe in God or a G(g)od, but for me just hearing my own thoughts out loud helps me to focus. I realized I was not being extremely picky as I had been most of my life. The important part was that he would love me for who I am and everything that comes with me and I would do the same for him. Someone I can cuddle with in bed and snuggle with on the sofa. So now it is out there. With this quarantine, I have no idea how I will meet anyone, but I will have hope.
So please, God, bring me a man.
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