Small Penis Depression

Published by maxtivoli83 in the blog maxtivoli83's blog. Views: 248

Maybe it's not the right place to discuss such issue, but it's real and it affects a lot of people. I am one of them.

Found some interesting post on this subject on many forums... I have the same condition, which it has lead me to seek humiliation, believe I'm a worthless human being and live in total isolation. Maybe it can help someone.

I cried reading the following post, my life has been exactly like this. It's very sad, and none gives a damn, because none want to stay around a broken person. So you are left aside because you have a small dick, than you suffer from this, then you are left aside again because you are suffering...

I have two suicide attempts in my curriculum.
Maybe they will kick me off this site for this entry.
I'm always alone, I always have been. So, it's ok.

"Posted byu/demiurge10

3 years ago

Small penis depression/suicide

Hey everyone I just joined reddit, sorry for the long windedness of this. I need to say every word. I know this might sound goofy to some people but it's been dehumanizing to live with.Not many people know about this and no one in my family does. I'm going to try to help you understand what I mean by this.
Imagine Growing up and when people find out you're always being humiliated and shamed regularly, told your worthless by girls and guys and you're just a pathetic joke, will never be felt and no would would ever want you. I knew something wan't right with my by around 10 or 11 but soon I began feeling like a freak and very ashamed. Sucks a bit I must say but thats manageable. I was also very, very small in middle school and high school in general too. With these two not so awesome things I was abused a fair deal physically and verbally because it was great fun for bullies and a lot of somewhat shallow girls. I could fight hands but the words and hate did way more damage.
I got used to always being picked last for anything, talked down to and more and more alone but again it was do able. I remember starting to feel super self conscious of myself due to this abnormality, becoming withdrawn I even felt ashamed because I still liked girls a lot even though maybe I shouldn't. It also was hard not receiving any real affection from anyone but my mom for the most part during those years but again manageable for sure. When I was younger even around my mom and sister and they will talk about how pathetic and hilarious a small penis is on a male and he's not even a man sometimes. It made since to me actually at a certain point. Since I was too humiliated to ask for help I never received any. It's not too bad, many people experience worse than this stuff though like some friends I have when they were that age. (****, addiction parental death etc..)
Heres were things get more complicated. Because of these things always happening along With other stuff I simply just started valuing myself less. Not having much respect for myself, any self esteem or thinking I deserved what other people deserve even though deep down I fucking yearned for it. I didn't even know it but I had developed diagnosable and treatable depression by I was around 13 or 14 and wasn't acting like other k**s and not talking much.
Fast forward I found things I enjoyed and had some nice friends through high school. These things were ingrained and haunted me though and grew. I guess tormented me here and there. I still struggled with what I didn't even know was depression and I was spending way too much time always alone feeling really tired.
After enough stuff happening I would try to repress any attraction to girls and any need for love for obvious reasons as well as not feeling worthy of it. I didn't know it either but by 17 my depression was much worse. I was using d**gs (mainly just weed at the time) to make myself feel normal regularly. I would not have any text book major depression symptoms when high. Also I would get as high as I could and then go off to a fantasy land where I would pretend more than anything there was a girl that loved me unconditionally and she would put her arms around me, I felt safe and warm next her and she valued my life, I wanted someone to love me so but knew it was more of a fantasy.
It's a bit frustrated that if you even try talk about this openly you're immediately looked at as really funny and almost a freak. It's not like it's something I asked for or could fix at the gym.

It's hard for me when you're messed up and traumatized and all you want is someone to love you but you think your just too damn worthless and you know no one ever will. I guess I had sorta been taught and experienced since day one no women in the right mind would want you. I would think no matter how much I loved a girl to the point where I would die for her I will always be thrown away. With some other stuff that happened like a sudden family death, having my best friend accidentally OD in front of us, and living alone far away from my family I was kinda numb. I had no ability to cry for some reason for a long time. Also I knew I had some depression but since I had it for so long I didn't realize it was at a clinical level.
The desire for sex was only about 5% as strong as the desire to be loved after all this shit has happened. I just wanted to be loved more than anything. I found a girl (not many girls at my school) and I though it might be someone where we could love each other for the first time as we grew closer. After not too long It turned out she wanted a real man that was at least average and wasn't the same height as her 5'6 so that kinda messed me up more and couldn't feel any more emasculated. She felt like she's with a boy. All that did is was real confirm everything I'd already knew but tried to push away. I don't hold a damn thing against her in the end and fully respect her preference and choices as another person. It's Darwins theory of Sexual Selection at work. It's not like women are being dicks on purpose, just got a bad genetics.
After a year of college I had to leave because my depression became crippling to where I could not function much and I was diagnosed with moderate to severe major depression and began getting help. It felt like having the flu 24/7. sometimes stuff is in slow motion, you can't eat and everything is just black etc. I could take adderall and still be exhausted. In other aspects of my life I was a badass at what I devoted most of my life too but that was all gone so a lot of my identity was too.
Even when I was back home I had so much hate for myself, felt so empty and numb. Plus I guess someone I loved so much was really, really hurting me and making me think I'm even more of a worthless piece of shit then I already thought I was. I would cut and burn my self a lot because I thought I deserved it, it made me feel better, and it would help be stop crying or being catatonic. Also struggled briefly with d**gs for the first time in 3 years and the depression was so serve basic function became really, really hard. I ended up attempting suicide because I didn't feel human anymore and wanted the pain to stop.
Fast forward to now which is about another year later here I am around a year later. Even now I still hear so much hurtful stuff about my body from people online and media but it doesn't bother me as much which is cool. That bad part is my depression has been treatment resistant but I'm still getting help. I guess from so much depression, trauma and trying to repress love (maybe when it's needed most too) and being isolated I almost shot myself in January, I was put in a lockdown treatment place for depression and meet someone cool.
I meet a girl who's been through the same kind of stuff just like me and we really clicked. She even had the same exact scars as me and we got close. At a point when she would stare into my eyes for too long the feelings of compassion and love were so overwhelming and she was so beautiful I couldn't repress them and I would end up crying for the first time in a while and really hard because it was overwhelming while starring into each others eyes. With the beautify is was also painful as hell because what I was gazing into felt like something I could never have and I'd begin crying even harder. Like so hard I almost threw up once but thats another story hahaha.
I also meet people who had been through the same stuff and one time tell told me all this stuff (depression, trauma) isn't my fault and I'm a good person and they care about me (more stuff has happened to me then the stuff in this post but thats not for now). I really, really didn't want to hear it and about 10 people went around and said stuff like that and at the end I was crying the hardest I've ever cried.
Heres my last thing I want to say. I've learned from reddit my problem isn't as bad as I thought a little. But I hear so much stuff on reddit (and other places especially) about people on talking about people with small dicks like were are worthless objects and not people and should stop breeding. I hear people say some nasty cruel things I want them to know you're talking about a fucking human being thats has emotions too. Most of us will never have families and stuff and are use to being thrown away, treated like shit and humiliated to the point of almost vomiting and suicide already. Please stop at least for a little at least. I know all this already.
You don't have to love me or even like me at all, I just ask I get treated as another person just like you. I completely understand women's preferences and I totally respect them as I said. I'm not one of those annoying insecure dudes out to convince reddit size does not matter and women who need big dicks are just shallow and all that generic stupid shit you hear on hear sometimes. I'm just want people to know what this can be really like. There is nothing fucking funny about this and how emasculating it can be.
We are all people and should treat each other with love and respect at the end of the day even though thats a little far fetched. I know this whole thing may not make sense to some and stupid to others but I just wanted to get this out. I'm getting stomach pains thinking about this and will likely commit suicide in the future but it is what it is. Makes no difference. I just want this brutal depression to stop and feel love. Thanks for reading if you made it here. Peace."

This is another post on the subject.

"Being born with a small penis ruined my life.

Using an alt account for this.
Anyways, yeah. I feel like having a small penis basically makes you a fucking joke to society. I have extreme self-esteem issues because of it. i don't feel like any woman will ever be able to love me.
I'm not trying to hear any shit about how size doesn't matter. Anyone can see that big penises look better and I don't doubt that they feel better too. And even though I'm sure there are probably women out there who don't care about size they are like needles in a haystack. I work at a place dominated by women, and I hear a lot of girl talk. whenever they talk about their boyfriends or the men they hook up with, the conversation always turns to "how big was it?" and they all shamelessly talk about how big dicks are so much better and how they would never date a guy with a small penis.
Can I just say, to any women who might be reading this, that is a really fucking mean and hurtful thing to say in the presence of a guy. You don't know what that guy has to live with. You're allowed to have your preferences but it fucking destroys me to hear that kind of shit on a regular basis. I wouldn't talk about how unattractive flat-chested women are or something like that because that's such a fucking mean thing to say. that isn't something that matters to me, I'm just using it as an example. Please just don't talk about this shit in public.
Anyways, I'm just ranting now. I'll probably never be confident or happy with who I am, and I'll never be able to be in a relationship without the constant thought that I'm not satisfying my partner or that she must be cheating on me or something like that. Fuck my small penis."

And this from a gay guy prospective.

"Posted byu/pitifuloption
1 year ago

What's the point of living with a small penis?
I’m 20 years old. I’m gay. I have a small penis. I’m very depressed because of it. It’s 5 inches and thin. I lack in girth and length which sucks! I’m Black which makes it worse. Black guys have a stereotype for having big penises, and I don’t fit that stereotype. I just feel like no guy is ever going to want to have sex with me or be with me because of it. I watch porn and all I see are guys with huge penises. I go on LadyBonersGW, GayBrosGW, etc. and I see guys who are well endowed with people loving their pics. It makes me so jealous. I’m never going to get a reaction like that from a guy. It doesn’t help that the media and society constantly makes fun of small penises and makes it seem like it’s the end of the world to have one. No one takes our problem seriously. It can really affect a guy’s self-esteem.
I’m still a virgin and never dated because of it. I was blessed in the looks department. So I don’t have trouble getting guys’ attention. I’m smart. I’m respectful. I have many good qualities. However I was cursed in the size department which to me matters the most. I’m just afraid that if I get intimate with a guy, they’ll want nothing to do with me. I mean I’m not going to lie, even though I have a small penis I still get turned on by big ones. It just looks better and I don’t doubt that it feels better too. I don’t know any guy that likes small penises. Most guys I know say they love big penises, and that a small penis would be a dealbreaker. Having to hear this is so hurtful.
I just feel like guys with big penises have it so much easier. They can easily have hookups, one night stands, keep partners, etc. They don't have to worry about disappointing their partners. Society and the media praises them for it. I’m always going to be insecure about my size. I think I’m going to die a virgin. I think I’m always going to be alone. Sometimes I think what’s the point of living if I’m always going to be alone? I only have one life to live and I was cursed with a small penis. It’s just not fair! And this is something I can’t change! It's not my fault I have a small penis, I was born with it! I have to spend the rest of my life with it! People love to have sex. I mean it feels good and it’s fun. It’s how you get intimate with your partner. But a small penis makes it worse. It sucks that I can’t fully participate in something that most humans enjoy. And I have a high sex drive which makes it worse. The only thing I do is masturbate.
I’m just upset that this is the card I was dealt with. I have no motivation to do anything with my life because of this problem. I wonder what’s the point of being rich or having a successful career if my sex life is terrible? I can’t get a guy to stay with me? I’m not saying I want a huge 10-inch monster penis. Just something more ideal.
I’ve just been feeling down because I’m not well-endowed. It’s just hard to accept this.
Thank you for reading."

And again.

"Posted byu/viseriondied
2 years ago

I have a small penis and I feel very depressed
Hello, 21 year old virgin here. My penis is around 5.5 inches and it's not that thick girth-wise. I feel very depressed about it because in porn the male stars have so much bigger penises than me and even the shemales/ladyboys sometimes have bigger penises. I have had many a chances to have physical relation with girls but I turned them down because I believe they will laugh at my size. Physically I'm around 6' and athletic. I play the guitar and sing, even have a YouTube channel where I post song covers. So naturally plenty of girls want to date me. And that's the furthest I go with girls nowadays. I had 3 relations in the past and 3 of them shattered to pieces because I showed no intention to do something physical with my partner. I'm at a point right now that if I don't have sex with a girl than people will think I am gay - I have nothing against homosexual people, I'd like to point out, everyone's equal in my eyes; but I am not a gay and I don't want people to have a false view of me."

And again.

"Posted byu/Burned800
1 year ago
Small Penis and Considering Suicide
Sorry if they ends up being a long post but I have kept this bottled up and need to put it out somewhere.

As you can accurately guess, I have a small penis (or at least think I do) and am considering suicide. I have a attempted suicide a couple times in my life for various reasons, but now I am at my breaking point. To provide some background, I am 32 and have never had a relationship or sex. I have been too intimidated to attempt a relationship or one night stand because I am afraid word can get out. I have always subscribed to the belief of keeping things bottled in.

I hate my body for various reasons as well. The saying of small hands or feet hold true for me (size 8.5 in dress shoes, 9 everything else. No clue on hand size). I hate shoe shopping because I feel like a c***d. I am of decent height (pushing 5'11 but not quite there), but I know when the rubber hits the road it does not matter. If I am being honest I am probably of decent looks. If I walked by on the street you would not take a second look because I am so good looking or so ugly.

This has definitely held me back in other areas of my life being socially and professionally. I have always believed it will not matter how much money I make because that woman would eventually leave me. I do not make a decent living because my mentality has been that it does not matter. Socially, I have always been alone at weddings, parties, etc. I have never bothered to make friends at work because eventually a double date scenario would come up and I would have no one to accompany me. I keep quiet because I have no relationship experience to speak of. I have gone on dates but only because it was through friends. I was good company but never made a move and made sure to come off as distant.

I should probably mention my size to give you an idea. I am about 6" probably a little less (small testicles as well). It depends on my state of mind (depressed or not). I have little girth. I know some will say that is average or good enough but not in my mind. If you want to leave a comment saying that is nothing to be suicidal about, that is fine I just need to say this anonymously for myself whether I continue living or not.

What kills me most is the lack of human touch. I can feel it every minute of every day. I would take a week of cuddling on a couch watching NetFlix of a night of sex. In my 20's I thought just having human contact was feminine and if a man needed that he was acting feminine. Every time I lie down or sit in a recliner it kills me psychologically.

Also, I do not hate women or blame them for wanting a guy with a bigger penis. I would not want to be married or in a relationship with a woman who was miserable because I could not make them happy. If that is what a woman wants in life, then she should go for it.

I am tired of feeling left out when couples conversations when they come up. I am tired of feeling weird or people looking at me weird because I am always alone. I am happy I will never have to face a financially crippling divorce.

The only thing keeping me going is friends and family. My first major attempt at suicide devastated friends and family. I am only living because I do not want to hurt them. I also think that if I moved to the opposite coast to pursue a fulfilling job and family life they would be happy for me. I do not see the difference, even with the existence of facetime and phone calls.

I just needed to put this out there. I am tired of having a boy's body as a man of my age. I am 32 with no relationship past. Why would a woman want to deal with that? I don't blame them and I think the incel community is garbage.

Good luck to everyone else. I hope you have problems that can be fixed and find happiness."

In The Guardian, it has been reported what follows...

‘Small penis’ leads to boy’s suicide

Thursday, 20 Apr 2006

12:00 AM MYT
HE WAS a second-year student at a top junior college, a member of the school volleyball team, a cheerful and energetic boy who was doing well enough in his studies to take Special Papers.

Yet on March 3 this year, the 18-year-old jumped to his death from a Bedok housing block, because he was convinced his private parts were too small.

Delivering a verdict of suicide on Tuesday, State Coroner Tan Boon Heng was sufficiently concerned by this “tragedy of misinformation” to recommend that the case be forwarded to the Ministry of Education (MOE).

“The importance of sex education to our young people in schools cannot be over-emphasised,” he wrote.

“The case study is useful for relevant MOE officers to appreciate the problem of the severity of misinformation even among the best and brightest in our schools.”

The boy, who cannot be named, had confided in his mother in October last year that he was worried his penis was too small.

She took him to a neighbourhood clinic, where the doctor told him his penis was of a normal size for an Asian man, and prescribed him multivitamins.

Despite strong emotional support from his girlfriend and his mother, he remained convinced he had a problem. He also had a history of being stressed over schoolwork.

In January, he told his mother that his life was “boring and meaningless” and that the only thing stopping him from suicide was his family's love. "

On March 3, after his usual volleyball practice, he took a bus from school to the Bedok interchange, but did not take his usual connecting bus home. When his sister sent him a text message at around 7pm to ask if he was coming home for dinner, he replied that he would eat out.

The next and final message she received from him was at 8pm, telling her and their mother to take care.

They realised something was wrong, but he repeatedly failed to answer his phone.

He jumped from a housing block near the Bedok bus interchange at around 8.30pm.

He was semi-conscious when he was taken to Changi General Hospital, but was pronounced dead at 10.40pm from multiple injuries. – The Straits Times / Asia News Network" .

I'm heartbroken reading all of this, because I understand each one of them. I have two suicide attempts in my curriculum. There's no solution, only agony.

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