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  1. Do you see me sexually anymore? Do you desire me?


    Is it me or is it you? Is it both of us? Is it everything else? Are we to distracted to cum together?


    Why is the TV always on in the spare time, and why are computers and iPads eating into the time before bed when the TV is off?


    Is there nothing important to talk about? Are we avoiding conversations?


    Do you care?


    Am I not sexually attractive? I know I am not as hot as some of the cute YouTube or Instagram boys now that I am older, but my friends on Instagram tell me I am still hot.


    Is my dick boring? I assure you plenty of guys lust after it and tell me online what your actions don’t.


    Do you withhold to keep me hoping?


    You used to worship me when I was new, did I wear out? Am I too sexual? Do I cut too deep?


    Do I go to long still? Is it too much work? Does it just hurt too much?


    Do I not do enough?


    When will we communicate?


    Do we need sex? Do I need sexual intimacy and validation from you? Why?


    We were supposed to be working on this and here we are again, starting back at the beginning.


    Am I so wrong having sexual desires and urges?


    I am not going to be bottling up my feelings as much, I am not scared of confrontation. We have to work through these things if I am to feel valued and recognized.
  2. My 24 hr boyfriend.

    Disclaimer: While the following events happened as I am detailing below, I do not recommend that you engage in this sort of behavior I have as it could impact your health, mental wellness, and the sexual habits and desires you have. You can look at these blog posts as educational and what not to do, or as entertainment while you jack off, but know I share my experiences so other guys can learn from my misbehavior.

    Well shit. This one was around 2002 to 2003. It was a warm summer afternoon and I had the day off. I had been exchanging messages with this guy that had heard about my dick through a friend but refused to tell me who or what he heard.


    He just wanted to see and experience it for himself he tells me. Alright I thought, from the way he described himself he sounded hot. Somewhat on the shorter side, fit, bubble butt, toned, and a serious smile.


    I got a back view picture, and if it was him I was wanting to meet up.


    When I log on, he is on and messaged me. We agree on a place to meet, just in case either of us is not wanting to actually do anything or feels misled.


    I get to the place and sit. A little beater of an excuse for a car drives up and out pops a super cute shorter guy.


    He is wearing jeans and a t-shirt, some tennis shoes with a cap a frat guy would wear. He had a slim wrestler’s build.


    He walked right up to me, smiling.


    “We ready to go to your place dude?”


    “Oh yeah.”


    I walked him a block to my apartment and he didn’t really have much to say on our way there. I head for the kitchen to get him some water. I hear him close the door behind me.


    “Do you want some wate”


    He already has taken off his shirt as I turned around in the kitchen area.


    I leaned in and we kiss. A light kiss.


    He isn’t saying anything, just letting his body and eyes say everything.


    Well fuck.


    I take his had and take him into my bedroom. I take my shirt off and he decides it’s time to undo my jeans.


    You in college dude?


    He ignores me. Unzipping my jeans, he reaches into my underwear and pops me out.


    He looked up at me and started licking around the head of my dick in a circular motion with his tongue.


    His eyes teasing me.


    I am hard. I let him suck on my dick for a bit and then I ask him what he wants. What does he want me to do?


    “Hold me.”


    I get out of my clothes and shoes and leave everything on the floor. I jumped on the bed and patted it. “Let’s cuddle.”


    He finished undressing and puts his clothes in a neat pile towards the door. This gives me the opportunity to see his beautiful back side.


    He turns around to join me, smiling but this time he seems shy.


    He cuddled right up. I hold him for a few minutes, but he starts wiggling his ass. I am hard and wondering if it’s ticking him. I reach around to see if he is hard and he is rock solid.


    Nice.


    He wiggled some more and loosened my arms around him so he could reach around too. He put the head of my dick right against his hole and pushed.


    I laughed. “Dude, you are not going to be able to get that in like that. It’s not how it works. I have to use lube and we should be using a condom.”


    He twists so he can kiss me, this time with some tongue. He goes right back into the cuddle position but spits on his hand and reaches around to put it on my dick.


    He has my dick right against his hole again and he is pushing.


    “Dude, you are not going to be able to...”


    I fell my dick head slip inside. Fuck he is determined. He pulls off for a second and spits on his hand again. My dick gets a coating of fresh spit, and I am raging hard.


    He puts me right on his hole again, for entry. He pushes and manages to get me in about two inches. I can feel his tight hole flexing and then it just relaxed.


    With that he pushed hard and my dick started to move in. His movement got faster and harder. He kept moving until it was in.


    “I got it in”


    Fuck! He sure did. I rolled on top of him and asked if he was alright.


    “Oh yeah.” I went slow. Fuck he felt amazing. He started to breathe heavy and I can feel his ass hole contracting.


    Keep going dude.


    I keep going but I am going extremely slow. Was he in pain? I rolled us sideways and see and feel if he was liking it but he has cum all over while I was on top of him.


    Fuck, this dude is so cute I think.


    I keep him on his side, cuddling him and hard inside him.


    “You care if I just hold you like this for a while?” I ask.


    “Do it.”


    So I did. I held him there and I hugged him and I stayed in him. I reached around to see if he was hard and he was not. I started to gently give his dick some hand love.


    He starts to get hard again.


    “Let’s try a different position,” he said.


    I slowly pull out and he moved to the edge of the bed and was down on his back. He puts his legs up and said, “I want to see you and your eyes while you are inside.”


    Who is this guy? Oh fuck he is amazing and perfect. He can take me and he is so fucking sexy.


    I get up and I lock eyes with him while I enter him. I had to use some more spit but I got in.


    He smiled. Fuck!


    I break eye contact so I can suck on his dick while I fuck him. I do this several times, alternating between my hands and mouth until he busts again.


    “I am so sorry I came again.”


    “Fuck dude, you cum as much as you want. I love that you did.”


    He tells me he is tired and wants to be held. I am not inside him but he can feel my stick against his crack hard and ready. He drifted off to sleep and then I did too.


    I awaken to feeling the squirming again. This guy is a gift from the gods!


    He is waking me up so we can go again and he is already putting me in with a fresh batch of spit.


    I gently side fuck with him for a while and he pulls it out.


    “Just lay on your back.”


    I do.


    He climbed on top to ride. He started slowly but worked his way up to a crazy fast pace, his six pack flexed and thin tight pecs bounced.


    His dick was moving all over the place and I lost it. I busted inside him.


    “Finally,” he said with a smile.


    Fuck I want you I thought. I want this guy to be my boyfriend.


    He falls back asleep in my arms and I fall back asleep. We wake up and the sun is shining.


    I need to get back to my family he tells me. “What do you mean?” I ask.


    I still live at home but I am going to get my own place soon.


    I walked him back to his car and while we were walking he apologizes for being so bad at sex.


    Bad? Are you fucking kidding me? He has no idea how amazing he was.


    I stopped him by his car. “Look, I really enjoyed being with you and would love to get to know you. I want to go out with you and I want you to be my boyfriend.”


    He smiled and climbed into his car. He rolled the window down and said he liked the idea but needed to think about it. He told me he would message me and we could exchange numbers. I was so excited.


    And no messages came. None I sent were returned.


    WTF


    I couldn’t get him off my mind.


    I told my current partner, we were not an exclusive deal at this point, that I had met this guy and he was incredible and I really wanted to have him as a boyfriend. He laughed and nicknamed him my 24hr boyfriend, the shortest relationship I ever had. Haha.


    I kept up hope I would find him or he would respond to messages. I tried to find him a few times by asking around in chat. Weeks later I got a private message that described him to a t. That’s him I typed.


    Another message from the guy that responded told me that “*@##$” was really way more into pills and money than guys. He said guys get taken in by this guy and to count myself lucky if he didn’t steal my wallet. I had a hard time believing this, and made sure we were talking about the same guy. We were.


    The guy shared with me later he heard he had moved up way north several states not to long after I had been with him. The guy told me he thought he was on a collision course and went up there to chase pills.


    What a mess.
  3. This fight is dragging on way longer than it should. What are you trying to tell me?


    Do you not understand that I know -that you know - that the silence, especially in a pandemic bothers me?


    Don’t you find it strange I never had the time for real friends while we have been together? Was it because of your insecurities and it was just easier to forgo?


    Here is the thing, that you don’t know- that I know.


    Your silence and refusing to acknowledge my existence right now is your way of trying to force me into obedience, to ensure you are in control and that you are right.


    No one wins with these types of wars. The walls you build never get broken down completely. The concrete is Harding friend, and it’s not going to be broken down easily.


    Do you realize I noticed you were in my emails? I don’t open my sent folder but here it was open this morning. Did you find what you were looking for?


    Is this silent war about your own insecurities? Haven’t you figured out that the more control you try to put over me, the more caged and suffocated I feel?

    Haven’t I given up enough over these years to make peace and make this work? Do you understand what I feel I gave up?

    I have given you the chance you asked of me all those years ago and I gave in to try? Is this really how you saw wanting to treat me?

    You don’t understand my feelings and shut down anytime I try to talk about them. I do it so gently, but you behave like this so I give in. And slowly you start everything all back again.

    Have you not learned from my previous experiences?


    I am not then same guy you fell in love with all those years ago. I have grown. I evolve, I push for figuring things out. Why do you push for the same and comfort? Why do you not need or want growth?

    Why do you try to raise my blood pressure? Why don’t we have a sex life?


    How long will this war go on? As the concrete hardens, it’s going to be leaving a wall between us that is more easily built and harder to break down.

    I have just been watching this wall go higher.

    Why do I trust a man that wants control and ownership but leaves me so vulnerable? After all these years, if you can’t meet me in the middle and offer other solutions for me to have to do all the work you should be doing, why will you not understand my needs? My wants? My desires?

    Are your fears that you may loose me ever going to go away? Right now, should they?

    Why won’t you look at me or acknowledge my existence today? If this drags on am I going to want to try anymore? Can I do another 20 years watching these patterns repeat, the wall go higher and the cement get harder? Will we even be able to see each other through the wall in a few years?

    Am I the only one that understands these dynamics?

    The silence is deafening, but I know it well. In it I can think and it gives me space. It may be uncomfortable, but it gives me the ability to grow and become stronger. Be careful, I may learn too much from this silence.
  4. The void is not something I can compete with.


    I try to at least. What is it that he is trying to fill with buying all the stuff? What does he get out of the clothes, shoes, stuffed animals and other stuff he is collecting?


    Why can’t he hear and understand that this is a cycle and we have been through all this before? Shouldn’t he have an emergency fund? Shouldn’t we pay the house off first? How about the credit cards?


    Shouldn’t he get his vehicle tip top before buying more crap that takes up space or the new decor for the bathroom?


    Why is there such a confusion of needs and wants? Where is the desire to hear my conversation every year for the past ten years to accomplish long term goals together and where is that desire to build a solid foundation?


    I always get the promise but the action is lacking. Am I a fool for hoping? For giving chance after chance?


    Sometimes there is a little movement, but then there is a complete movement backwards. Am I trying to change something? Am I trying to pull you from the edge?


    Does the food fill the void? I watch you make unhealthy decisions but you don’t want to hear it. You don’t like me nagging, but I still do. Maybe not as loud as the past but I still try.


    I ask for walks, or to go out just so you can feel the air outside, to get a break from being inside. You never want to. You don’t want to exercise. I don’t understand.


    Am I failing you? Is something I do making the void worse?


    What void are you trying to fill, that I am not good enough to fill? We have this conversation and I just can’t figure it out. Why can’t we work together for a more solid future so things are easier as we get older?


    The things we don’t say but yet we know are there. Why do we ignore these issues, or why will you not communicate with me when I try to help or bring them up?


    When I try to express myself, why do I get shut out? Why the silence? Why do I get pulled into the void? You know how I feel about it. It just seems to get bigger, until there is that step forward.


    Am I creating this void, or is it something I am falling into? Have I just enabled it to get worse? I believe it was here before I walked into the picture nearly 20 years ago and it is still here. Is this why marriage is a bad idea? What won’t you tell me and why can’t you share?

    What can I do my love?
  5. This is a popular question.

    What part of NYC are you from? It is usually followed up in the same message for an offer to meet, or hook up.

    I have to explain that I am not from or in NYC but am using it as a smoke screen to throw off guys that could be around me as to where I am from and who I am.

    My favorite responses are usually “That is pretty smart, I get that.”

    “Still want that dick though.”

    So why NYC? Why pick NYC as my location on here as opposed to some other place? It’s a special place, a place where it feels like dreams can come true and there are opportunities. There has always been a draw to NYC or San Francisco. Maybe even San Diego.

    I should probably change it given the number of guys that are confused and think I am near them and write wanting a personal encounter, but would be lost as to what city to claim.
  6. I get this question almost every day in the DMs.

    I am going to try to explain my guy doesn’t know about me being on this site and he definitely doesn’t want me showing or camming with guys. He feels my dick and everything else belongs to him and it’s only for him to see. He is pretty possessive. He doesn’t like the idea of anyone else getting to see me or my dick.

    Please understand that there is not a place in this house where I can go to talk without a word of what I am saying not being heard. It’s out of character for me to just drive off and find a spot in a pandemic just so you can get a private free show. I don’t owe that to anyone. Except the guys that I want to. The guys that I share with and the guys that get to see are chill dudes that really get to know me. Many of these men are like me and I can relate to them on many levels. Many of these men are mature and share parts of themselves with me as well.

    I sometimes will get the follow up question, “Well if he doesn’t like it, then why are you here? Why do you do it? And why do you show your dick, especially if you know it would hurt him?”

    This question is complicated, and at the end of the day I don’t owe anyone an explanation. I owe myself an explanation and a deep understanding of why I do what I do. As you get to dive into my life with this blog and future posts, you may get to understand.

    I do try however to explain. With some personalities it really makes them angry but that is their issue. I can’t own their behavior or their anger.

    My usual response is this is a great site and I enjoy the forums and looking at the dudes on here. I also love being able to show off. It’s also amazing to have likes and comments or be fantasied about. To be seen and understood as a sexual force. To be seen as a GAY MAN. It feels empowering. Sometimes I also share that I get to converse with many awesome people on here. It’s great to make digital friends.

    Some of the responses tell me much more about the person on the other end of the conversation. It’s usually positive feedback. If it gets bad, I am not going to try to fix their issues they have with me. For everyone else that enjoys, I know it was appreciated that I share.

    Some other things to realize about chat, voice, telephone calls and requests of this nature before you ask a dude in dms or demand he show in a personal show or reveal who he is to you... All for you...

    If you don’t know the guy, you should be respectful in how you request or speak to him. You don’t know what kind of a situation he is in, what he may be going through, his life experiences, and you could have unrealistic expectations towards him giving you what you are looking for.

    I don’t have to prove to anyone that my dick is real or it belongs to me. I don’t even have to prove it is bigger than average. I don’t even have to be completely hard in comparison pictures if I don’t want to be. I know my own dick, I am confident in my dick and I own it. I don’t have to prove anything to anyone and most likely won’t if you try to push for more or are rude. Luckily most of the guys on this site are amazing.

    LPSG is cool, the process for verification works. If you have questions about it being real, take a look to see if they are verified, look at their pictures to match up the dick. Does it look real to you?

    You can get so many random requests for immediate attention, information requests, and chat/show requests from profiles with no pictures or vague details that can be really demanding. These don’t match my personality type. If you get silence, you will probably have to up your game to get what you want.

    I will get to explain more of the anti share and anti video wank offs situation with other guys in future blog posts, because I had done this years ago and it really made for some issues in my relationship.


    As for my man’s feelings about me showing on video chat, talking to other guys and also about having an Only Fans account.

    Our last conversation was a few nights ago about what I want in a next job. Not to be crazy stressed. To have some satisfaction in the work I do. To be able to enjoy my free time. To have a supportive team around me. To have good management or be my own boss. I rattled off a few other things and he told me that nobody gets that. I said then let’s monetize my monster. He knew exactly what I was talking about and I saw the flash of anger. He knew I was talking about showing it off on only fans. He got upset and told me he would be very angry and very upset if I did such a thing and turned away. It’s probably the fifth time I have brought it up and it is pretty obvious he is not going to change his mind or his views on this.
  7. “Start working out with us dude,” he says with his smile and those puffy wet lips.


    We are going to be over on your side on Saturday afternoon, meet us there at 2.


    I go and it’s the quarter back and my friend that used to serve as an alter boy with me.


    They are both on the football team and are trying to get the workout done so they can get on to whatever trouble they are going to get in next that night.


    “You going to try out for the team dude?”


    “I would get injured and crushed. No I don’t need the injuries,” I stammer.


    “Dude, football season has already started even though school has not exactly started.”


    I realize that he was probably joking around with me about being on the team but I can’t tell.


    I noticed some serious tension and apprehension about the year ahead for them. It was a side that they didn’t show when others were around, but they were letting me in on. A few inside jokes flew between the two that I didn’t get.


    It was fun working out with them and when he would spot me on bench I really looked at things I had no business looking at. He either doesn’t notice or he doesn’t care. The workout is done in 45 minutes. We all go our separate ways.


    Football practice started for them and they didn’t feel like that extra workout was needed anymore after they fall into the rhythm of the season, so I found myself going by myself, some of the other dudes from school showing up randomly, but I enjoyed the vibe of the place.


    Then I started working out downtown, at a place that usually only had one or two other people when I would go.
  8. The high school quarterback was in a summer class with me, and the friend I had from being an alter boy. They were best friends, and they had their choice of women. The cheerleaders were the most common, and the group that did the dance routines in the outfits that got the guys really worked up.


    The quarter back would talk with me in the mornings while we were waiting for the classroom to be opened.


    “Nice shirt dude,” he would say in his loud but deep voice, staring more at my chest than my face. It was the same compliment for every different shirt. It made me so self conscious. Him and my friend would really be incredibly close in that doorway, they never thought anything about personal space or being in mine.


    “Fuck I really don’t want to be here today,” he said his eyes twinkling and looking at me. He was leaning in and his lips were wet. Always plump, and wet.


    He was Italian, he buzzed his head all the time, and his life was football. His black buzzed hair was amazing to feel, I got the chance once when some girls were doing it and he asked me what I was thinking when they did it. He let me rub his head and thought nothing of it.


    “You are coming with us during lunch and I am driving.”


    I was not going to argue, it was exciting I was being invited. One of his girlfriends came over and put his arms around him. She looked at me and asked how I was.


    Totally fucking distracted trying to pay attention in class. He decided he was going to sit across from me today. He kept doing this thing with the pencil by his ear and looking over. A smile on his face.


    “What is up?” He whispered loudly. Everyone looks at me.


    Fucking hell. “Come on guys, let’s concentrate.”


    He laughs his deep loud laugh and shakes his head at me. Something is very entertaining.


    The teacher is trying to get everyone to concentrate and we are almost to a lunch break.


    We finally get to go.


    “You are riding with me.”


    I walk out with him and my server friend, he is coming along with the girl and we all pile into his truck. I get to ride up with him in the front, it also had a small back seat.


    The other two are in the back and the vehicle starts up. Buckle up he yelled as the truck started flying forward at a high rate of speed.


    WTF. My heart was racing, is this how they drove all the time?


    We get to the place and everyone is getting ice cream, or a soft drink.


    Typical high school lunch.


    We didn’t have much time but I sat down, I was right across from the quarter back at the table.


    “Fuck dude, this is incredible. You have to try this,” he says to me, offering his drink.


    The red straw is starring back at me. His girlfriend grabs it and takes a slurp. He laughs and tells her to not be a pig. He sucks on the straw moving it up and down, looks at me.


    I feel tingly.


    He puts it right back in front of me again, his head tilted forward, waiting to see what I would do. He is smiling, his eyes are sparkling and he lets out a laugh.


    I hear my biology teacher in my head talking about how we shouldn’t do this sort of thing, you could get mono, and it isn’t fun.


    Fuck it.


    “What do you think dude? It’s good right?”


    I think my tingling body was more excited about his spit on the straw rather than whatever it was in that cup.


    He laughs and starts drinking after I give it back. There was something so intimate in this act of sharing, and I would not do that kind of thing normally. We all go back to class. I feeling like I am part of something special on this day, but somewhat confused by the feelings I had after my mouth touched the red straw and his wet lips going right back to it after me. Or was it his eyes laughing at me with his tilted head after he got me to try it?
  9. “He is going to break lots of hearts,” the monsignor says with a smile and directly looking into my eyes with such a proud expression as a crowd had gathered in the back of the church.


    I was having to serve that Saturday evening, and was incredibly shy. I was in that awkward stage, my body was changing and I felt clumsy.


    “A lot of women’s hearts,” someone else chimed in.


    At this moment an old Italian grandmother feels compelled to step into the circle of space that was created from the people around me. Her hand moves impressively fast for an old woman and she pinches my cheeks extra hard, that way only the old Italian women do.


    I feel my face getting red. I look over at my friend that is serving tonight as an alter boy. He starts laughing, he knows he got to escape getting pinched and the attention for tonight because I was there. His eyes continued to laugh and it brought a smile to my face.


    On the inside I felt awkward, anxious, and different.
  10. The Marine


    Disclaimer: While the following events happened as I am detailing below, I do not recommend that you engage in this sort of behavior I have as it could impact your health, mental wellness, and the sexual habits and desires you have. You can look at these blog posts as educational and what not to do, or as entertainment while you jack off, but know I share my experiences so other guys can learn from my misbehavior.


    Today is Friday and that is fitting for today’s blog entry. It was a Friday night my senior year in college and I had discovered gay.com. This website had a place where local guys could have a profile or chat online.


    My profile was rather random but I posted pictures of my dick on it. There was a section you could talk about you and the kinds of things you were into. Stats. Got tons of guys that wrote about what they wanted to do to my dick but I was always incredibly paranoid about getting an STD or being found out so I was trying to be DL and ultra picky.


    I had been contacted by this dude that had been a Marine and we had exchanged messages about things we thought were hot and he really liked what he saw on my profile but didn’t really believe it was me or somehow I had enhanced the pictures.


    So one Friday night I logged on, I was hard but enjoying the group chat. It was a way to feel connected in an area that didn’t seem to have tons of gay guys but the chats were not always sex related.


    I got a private chat message from the Marine. He told me that he was free tonight and I should come over to hang out.


    “What do you want to watch movie wise?“ I stupidly asked.


    He said that he didn’t care but thought it would be a good opportunity to show off his new place. He said it was something he was proud of but he enjoyed talking with me so he thought it would be cool to chill out with me in person and just talk.


    I told him that it sounded cool, but how did I know that I would be safe or if it was really him in his profile. I was incredibly paranoid, probably still am, but much more so back then.


    He told me that he was wearing a jockstrap and took a picture of it with a handwritten sign that had his username. Fuck! This dude was real and had an amazing backside in the picture. Fuck. Do I do this?


    I told him I had a weakness for guys in porn that wore jockstraps. His picture was incredible. I wanted to see it in real life.


    “Dude, you wear that jockstrap to give me a tour, I will come over.”


    He said he would but couldn’t promise it would be visible, and I said it didn’t matter, just make sure the top of the band is sticking out of your pants. He agreed and there was more talk about a movie and to bring a snack.


    He gave me the directions and I found the place just like he said, and parked where he said. I had to make sure I was knocking on the right door. My hands were a bit sweaty and I was nervous. Is this just going to be a nice conversation or is there going to be more?


    The lights were all off. WTF, maybe I am knocking on the wrong door. I walk down a bit to make sure I am the right place. I was where he told me to be.


    I knock again. I noticed a little movement from the blinds behind the window on the left and in about 3 seconds the door opens.


    A face pops out from in back of the open door, a real strong square jaw like the Marine posters of the past is what I notice first. He was about 30.


    “Don’t just stand there, walk in.”


    At this point, I think it’s strange he is standing behind the open door so I take a cautious step in, looking around to see if I am about to get jumped by a group of guys from the military.


    I take a deep breath as I walk past about 6 feet in and I don’t see anyone else. I hear the door close behind me and an apology about not getting to the door sooner, but my eyes had fixated on his tv which was set to some incredibly boring shopping network. It was a big TV, mine was definitely smaller. The light from the TV was what lit everything up.


    I hear him laughing and he walks into view in nothing but his jock.


    “I didn’t know if you would actually show up. I am so glad you did.”


    I was looking at this guy, huge shoulders and arms, huge pecks, and the smallest waist with a bubble butt like a certain porn star that I can’t remember the name of.


    Fuck, this dude is ripped and muscled. And I was much taller. This guy was a bit shorter than average but he obviously was into building his body.


    How about that tour. I placed the bag of cookies I brought on his counter and he walked in front of me looked forward. Without looking at me, he pointed left.


    “Living room.”


    Pointed right, “kitchen area.”


    “Let me show you upstairs.”


    I wasn’t exactly paying attention at this point because I could feel the blood rising into my dick, fighting against my white CK briefs. I was fixated on his ass. Same ass and jock as in the picture.


    I feel my body moving to him, following him up the stairs, hoping to see a hint of butthole as he is walking up, but those cheeks were too tight.


    We get up the stairs, and I followed him left into his bedroom. He has this strange bed that is close down to the floor and the furniture is all new.


    Nice place dude.


    “Did you want to watch a movie down there or up here?”


    I was thrown off by the question, but he moved in and said while I was thinking about it I needed to catch up and get comfortable.


    “Let me help you.”


    He starts lifting my shirt. My dick wants to come out. It’s pushing hard against my clothes.


    My shirt is off.


    “Kick off your shoes and pants dude.”


    I am thinking, fuck. He is not hard and here I am, the moment I take these pants off, they won’t fit back on.


    I unbutton my jeans as he sits down on the bed in front of me.


    There goes the zipper and my wad just pops out, obviously getting bigger.


    He says he is going to help me a bit.


    I feel a massive pull on my jeans taking part of my underwear down with them.


    “Oh fuck man, it’s real.”


    Next thing I know he has my underwear down and my dick is right in his face.


    He grabbed the shaft and started sucking on the head.


    Fuck dude. I need this inside me. You up for that?


    My head is spinning but I want his ass bad.


    I asked him if he is clean.


    “Oh is that why you’re nervous? I am clean. Let me go get a rubber. BRB.”


    I am starting to get really excited, this dude is just going to make this happen.


    He shows up and gets the condom out.


    We have a really hard time trying to get it on, and it was cutting into the circulation on my dick, making it smaller where the condom was on.


    “Just keep holding the base of the rubber so it doesn’t roll off before you get it in me.”


    I can do that, but it’s not exactly feeling all that great. He has himself lubed, he has the outside lubed and we are just having the worst time trying to get it in.


    I know he says. He gets up and pushed me down on to the bed. My shoes still on while my jeans and underwear tie up my ankles. My legs are spread a bit from the corner of the bed.


    Let me climb on top. He is slowly trying to work it in. It’s taking way to long and the rubber is cutting. Feels like my dick hairs are getting caught, those nasty ones on my shaft? I could feel it pulling on them, the end band cutting in.


    He climbs off.


    “Is it me?”


    I look at him. No dude, it’s me. “This condom is feeling super small.”


    He disappears and reappears a bit later. He has a different condom brand this time, with a washcloth. He pulled the condom off and gave my dick a fast wipe down.


    Then he got on his knees and started sucking, and I was definitely hard again.


    “Just keep doing that,” I told him.


    “No, I will take this and I will be successful.”


    This next condom is still on tight but nowhere near as bad as the first. I still have to hold the base to keep it from rolling upward.


    He climbed back on after lubing everything back up and really put some effort into getting it in, his hand guiding the head in.


    He pushed down harder and I could start feeling my dick going in. He was tight but was making it work.


    “That condom just makes you bigger and is probably what is making it so difficult. I really want you in all the way, you sure you need it?”


    Yes. But I did want it on? Yes, but no. Not really but I have to. But without would feel incredible. No, HEALTH. “It needs to stay on.”


    “Well we at least opened me up. Let’s get you in balls deep.”


    This guy said things that just turned me on, anyway I really liked his determination.


    He got me to stand up, and he put himself on all floors for me to admire his butt, grabbing his cheeks and spreading them. I move forward putting my head on his hole.


    “Spit on it.”


    I do. He starts moving forward and back, moving my dick head in and out. He stops.


    “Your turn. Just ram it in. If I scream just keep going.”


    I push hard but not overly hard or fast. “Fuck” he says as he moves forward a bit.


    I stop. “Keep going he yells.”


    Fuck it. I started pushing harder and harder until I could feel I was halfway in.


    “Now the rest of it. Fucking push it in!”


    I take my hand off my shaft and the condom end and feel the condom start to roll up. He feels it against his butthole and moves my dick into his ass with his own movement and a deep breath, the edge of the condom roll is now in the inside of his butthole and I can’t see it.


    “Dude, the condo”


    “Fuck it man, just fuck me. Stop worrying about it and pump me.”


    As I moved back a little bit, I could feel my dick getting much harder where the rubber rolled off and as I pushed in, I could feel the condom continuing to roll up farther. Every little backstroke helped the condom roll up further. As it was doing this, he kept saying my name and telling me this is so much better. This is what he wanted and needed. At this point I was fucking his ass, but the condom was off somewhere up at the tip. When I pushed in hard I could feel part of it hit the tip of my head. It was lost.


    I pull back, grab onto his jock strap band and really started pumping. He is tell me he loves it but started begging me to cum.


    I am like, I got in and fucking this dude raw, I am going to make it last.


    “Please cum, PLeAse!”


    The screaming is exciting and he puts his head into the bed and grabs his cheeks so I can go in deeper. I start doing some long strokes.

    “I can feel you getting harder and stretching me out!”


    He turns his head and in a demanding voice tells me to cum. Dump it deep and do it now.


    I started fucking him harder, not exactly full on animal but enough to make him whimper.


    “Please give me that cum! Right in my ass, fuck *MY NAME*.”


    He just started yelling my name with every thrust, letting out whimpers between.


    I could feel myself getting harder to that point of no return.


    I explode.


    “Oh Fuck, I felt that inside of me.”


    I am shaking, realizing I unloaded into that jocked marine, who at this point told me to pull out slowly.


    Once I get out, I stand there and realize he is a bit frozen.


    Give me a minute. I grabbed the washcloth he used on me before, and he rolls onto his back and gave me this look of total satisfaction.


    “Next time we don’t need the condom, it wasted so much time we could have used for fucking,” he stated.


    “I really preferred how you felt skin on skin anyway, didn’t you?”


    I was still somewhat shocked as to how I just kept going when the condom rolled off but I admitted that there was no comparison.


    I told him that the condom was lost up there somewhere, and he laughed and said it would come out and not to worry.


    At this point I had pulled up my Calvins and my jeans and was reaching for my shirt.


    “Next time no condom. You need this and we are going to have so much fun,” he said with a smile and sparkling eyes.

    “What about you? You never even took that jock off.”

    I am good. Don’t you worry, he told me. “Let’s see how we do this next time.”

    in
    dom1000, Adventurous, aldawg and 14 others like this.
  11. SBNYC 2003

    There is a lot going on in my mind right now, but I am going to take you on a journey to an exciting night of my life, a crazy night out in my super young but super dumb and hung phase in my life. Escape with me as I remember one of my wildest nights in my youth. This stuff did happen and I survived to tell you the story.


    It was a hot sweltering day in the summer of 2003, and I was 23. Out on a trip with two friends in one of the greatest cities in the world. New York City. I remember this night like it happened a few months ago. So much happened in one night and it was an amazing experience.


    Side note, I realize many of you guys probably were not born or not even in mid school back then, but you are probably going to be learning about me by reading my private thoughts and experiences in this blog. I can be a bit touchy about my age, and it probably stems from the fact that right now I don’t know that I know what is going to happen. What is my life’s direction and am I doing what I need to do in my life? Am I getting what I need out of life? Who am I and who do I want to be? It’s another topic for another day but these thoughts are simmering around in my Mind.


    Back to that hot sweltering day and the close start of another. We got lost looking for Splashbar NYC, a gay bar a friend found reviews for online. By asking around my friend finally got us to the door. They were just getting ready to open and the door dude told us that most guys don’t exactly started shows up until later but they wouldn’t have happy hour for blah blah blah.


    So we get in, I don’t remember if I paid a cover to get in but I didn’t know exactly what I was going to experience here. There was a main room with two bars, and a downstairs area with a bar, and a bathroom down the hallway, a little area to socialize and drink.


    As I started bad towards the stairs this hot dude was tending bar in a red thong. No shirt, fucking amazing ass. The dude looked like a young Matt Bomer, beautiful. Just fucking amazing. He looked over at me and asked me what it would be. Fuck. His smile and eyes, I just sat down and told him I wasn’t really sure what was good. “What do you recommend?” I asked.

    “I will get you something special, you are not from here are you?” He asked with a smile.

    As he turned around to get my drink, I got to stair at his beautiful backside, I am sure he knew I was watching but didn’t seem to care. He smiled, told me he made a Manhattan and that it was fitting given where I was. He told me the price and I gave him a 20 and I know I gave him a tip that was larger than I would normally give but figured that drink would be it for the night given I didn’t exactly have tons of money to be spending at a bar.

    He watched me as I drank my drink, and about 1/2 way in to sipping it, he asked what I thought. I said it was decently good, and could feel a buzz starting. I told him it was my first night there and that I never saw a dude at a bar working in a thong.

    “What is it like?”

    “You mean working at a gay bar?”

    “Well in a thong.”

    He laughed. “I am not gay, but I make a hell of a lot of money from dudes looking at my ass compared to other places.”

    Fucking hell I thought. I just assumed he was gay, being in a thong and flashing that smile. I felt somewhat deceived but he kept smiling and asked if I was ready for another and I said I would just be finishing what I had slowly. He laughed and his attention was grabbed by some other guy that was clothed behind the bar telling him something. I was just glued to watching his butt.

    I was right in the middle of a thought about what I wanted to do with his butt when a dude pulled up a chair right besides me and asked if it was taken. I said no, the guy was cute, maybe 25ish.

    “I have never seen you around here.”

    “Well I have never been here. I heard they are going to have some strippers tonight and am excited to see this and experience this place.”

    He leaned in, and said right into my ear, “Let’s get out of here. My place is close by and we can have more fun than you could ever imagine.”

    I moved back, most guys let me be the one to make the first move, I had been used to being the one asking rather than the other way around.

    “Dude, you are cute but I am here to experience this place.”

    He started to get frustrated, and grabbed my arm. “You are not missing anything, trust me. Let’s go fuck.”

    At this point the bar tender had picked up part of our conversation but out of the corner of my right eye I saw him move into the picture.

    “Let go of his arm. Is this dude bothering you?”

    The dude put his drink down and left.

    “Watch yourself in here.”

    “Thanks. I am having a great time and will continue to.”

    At that point he left the bar too, and since no one was there I decided to see what was going on upstairs.

    Music was going and there was a dude just dancing with himself on the dance floor. He definitely worked out, had an amazing body. I walked right up and started dance with him. I was buzzing a bit and moved in on the dude as he was smiling and put his arms around me. I grabbed his crotch with one hand and felt his ass with the other and his mouth dropped open. He laughed and said he loved being there. I put my hands on his waist and put my leaned down so my face was less than an inch away and he closed his eyes and kissed me. I slipped him some tongue and he started sucking on it. Well damn I thought. That is a new move.


    I said you ready to ride? He looked at me kind of bewildered.


    I picked him up by his ass and lifted him off the ground so he could have his ass right up against my dick, his arms around my neck. It was a fun little ride. About 20 seconds in he asked me what I did for a living. I put him down. I told him what my plans were while we danced, we could barely hear each other.


    The bar was filling up and he gave me his card. He was into furniture, and he told me his friends were here but he would find me later. Spoiler, the place got so packed I don’t think there was an easy way to find anybody later.


    So I started to walk towards the back of the main room and the bar and there was this dude waiving at me to come sit by him. He was a smiling buzz cut or bald guy with an amazing smile and sparkle in his eyes. What the fuck, why not.


    He said something to me in French. Fuck.


    “No parelvu French, pero hablo espanol un pocito.”


    He turns around and some girl runs up and smiles. He says something to her and she tells me that he is saying that I am beautiful and he is on vacation and has to fly back to Paris soon. He wants to buy you drinks. Not just one but many.


    I laughed and he said something to her again. A bartender comes over and she tells him to make me a Long Island and the French guy will pay.


    I told her I felt bad that he was paying and she said something to him and he said something back. She then told me that he exchanged way too much money, he was going to spend it and didn’t want it but really wanted to see me enjoy my night.


    My drink arrived and it was somewhat larger than the one I had downstairs. It was hot in there and I took of my shirt, so at that point it was a muscle undershirt and my jeans. I had tried to be fashionable with the shirt I was wearing, it was beautiful but not something I should have worn to the bar.


    I drank the drink pretty fast, I felt dehydrated. The bar tenders here were moving fast up here, not like the slow pace like when I was downstairs. For some reason the guys running around were alright but their energy was different, more like let’s get you your drinks so we can get to the next order. Don’t got all day.


    The girl came back and smiling started yelling down the bar, Another! The French guy was laughing and his eyes just lit up his whole face. Fuck it.


    I leaned in and kissed him, and he kissed back gently. I put my hand on his crotch and he started laughing. I started drinking the other tea and I started to really feel a buzz going.


    I didn’t understand why the drinks were bigger than what the other people had, but figured why not.


    He is looking at me with a mysterious look right now, a guy in his early 30s, twinkle in his eyes, super cute French dude, and I can’t understand a fucking thing he is trying to tell me. I shrug. Fuck it, maybe he is asking me to kiss again.


    This time I stand up, put his hand on my crotch, lean in and unzip his jeans. Seriously bad behavior that I don’t recommend at a bar, but it was a night of firsts. The dude is shocked but just smiles kinda nervously. Now that his jeans were unzipped I popped my hand into his boxer briefs to feel a super soft dick, and balls. Super soft. Holy fuck what am I feeling in here? As I pop my hand out, I pushed the elastic so it would slide under his balls so I could take a peak. I did and when he realized I had worked his friend right on out right at the bar he jumped up and got it back inside. I gave him a kiss and he didn’t seem to care but someone came up from the back to warn me I could get in trouble for doing stuff, watch out and something or other. Don’t think it was bar staff but the bartender looked like he was wondering wtf was going on at his end of the bar and he could tell I had something to do with it.


    That girl showed up again and was yelling another! And at that point I had a serious buzz going on. I thought they watered shit down in NYC. Not going to worry about it.


    The drink that came this time around was smaller, there was an exchange with the girl and the bartender... two glasses of water came my way. I just started sipping the smaller drink. She came over to me and said he wants you to go with him.


    Go with him, what do you mean?


    “Like he wants you to leave with him.”


    Oh. She laughed and said his flight was leaving in a matter of hours and he really wanted me to go with him.


    At this point I was drunk and needed to take a piss. I told them I was needing the bathroom and would be back. I made my break for the bathroom downstairs.


    There was a bunch of guys, and it was like slow motion as most of them stopped and just stared. What the fuck. As I am waiting for what feels like an eternity with dudes walking super close to me just starring me down, I hear some guy yell, come on guys. Move it along, and I turn around and two cops are standing right there.


    The place emptied out in less than 30 seconds and I can finally make out where I need to get to to take a piss. As I am peeing I realize there is just one other dude in there with me peeing, and the cops are watching us from behind. Then I realize there didn’t seem to be separators for privacy, that other dude was on the L shape side in a more private location.


    Put him back inside and walk past the cops drunk as a skunk.


    One of them said something but I don’t know what.


    The bar downstairs was two people deep in the lowest areas, I just remember thinking this is insane.


    I make my way upstairs and there are guys in this shower thing, taking a shower in their underwear. Holy fuck! I could see penis outlines and balls and bouncing pecs. WET men.


    Fucking hell. Who is that dude. My mouth must have dropped open, because I just couldn’t believe what I was seeing. One of my friends grabbed my arm and asked where the hell I had been all night. Where was my shirt. Well it was no where to be found, some guy ended up with a dry clean only clearance bargain price DKNY shirt I purchased 75% off but was still expensive and that I liked.


    People on the dance floor cleared a space and this dude came out as a fire fighter started stripping. Fuck! Why on earth do I like hot men in firefighter gear. This dude danced around and stripped down, he could tell he made me weak and just put on a show for me and everyone around. He gave me a big hug and ran off. WTF just happened?


    At this point I am really feeling drunk, horned out of my mind, lost, needing water, and I try making my way to outside so I can get some air. Too many people, you can’t move.


    Fuck. You can’t move. Just looking forward this dude with build shoulders that would not get out of the way accidentally gets a bump from my package as I get pushed from behind. Oh fuck his ass was attention getting. I had to grab.


    “Who the fuck is grabbing my ass, this is why...” dude turns around and is in shock.


    His expression, it was something I hadn’t seen exactly, but I know what it is now that I am older.


    His partner leans in and introduced himself. Let’s sit and have a drink. I am feeling all sorts of confused and guilt and here comes another drink. Down it goes and this dude comes out of nowhere and is on the bar in I don’t even know what you would call it. Like a thong but it had a compartment just for the dick. Another stripper, he was hot and cute, kinda twinkish but about 3 to 5 years older than me I am guessing and he walked across the bar making his way over to us. He stops and puts his crotch in my face and says hello.


    “Can I touch it?”


    He looks around, people were watching but he said do it.


    So I grabbed his dick and gave it some tender caressing. I know I held on longer than I should have but he seemed to be enjoying it. I felt him getting hard in my hand and I started tugging. Someone right behind me was laughing his ass off. As he started to stand back up, I was still holding on and one of his balls fell out for a split second, he popped back down and he told me I would probably get him in trouble but not to go to far. I sat leaned back as he stood up and walked away hard with everyone able to see his erection in that dick tube underwear. I liked that view. Fuck!


    At this point the couple told me they were leaving and to behave, so I waived and got up to try going to that bar further back in the room. Some dude moved towards me, he was shorter but cute.


    He said, “dude, it’s my first night here. Isn’t it amazing?”


    Yes it is, and I am drunk but he is cute, and he is like let me buy you a drink. At this point I am not going to argue or do anything. He leads me over to a place near the wall, tells me that he will be right back. Moments started to skip around, guys dancing, shirtless, drunk as fuck and not giving a fucking shit about anything at all.


    You could feel the pulse of that place, moving through your body, the electrical current keeping you from passing out.


    My face is feeling stiff. Oh wait, it’s been stiff for a while.


    Dude is back with a drink, I have not a clue what it is but its sweet.


    We are standing there sipping our drinks and he said it was hard to talk in a place so loud. I nod.


    Fuck I am buzzing. I don’t even know if I finished that drink but I need to go piss. He comes with me but waits by the entrance. This time the bathroom wasn’t a fucking zoo. I realize on the way back up the cops are still there watching, but towards the end of the hall.


    We get back to his little spot, he put his arms around me. I leaned into him and put my arms around him. I realize his ear is cute and decided to try licking his ear.


    He kinda fell back and had this look of shock on his face and then started laughing.


    “Omg, you made me cum.”


    WTF. How can a guy just cum from a hug? This dude is seriously funny.


    He said I was just too hot, and the first dude he got to hug like that. I am thinking he is so full of it and he tells me he has a car and wants to show me Times Square at night. Have I seen it at night?


    I let him know I had not. “That settles it, let’s go.”


    We get out of the bar, it’s started to cool down a bit. The air feels good.


    He holds my hand and stops me and my wandering mind. He pointed down to a stain right where his cock head would be.


    He told me that it was embarrassing but the black car was his.


    We get in. “You don’t believe?”


    He undoes his pants and flashes his cum drenched junk and underwear. He zipped back up.


    What do you like?


    At this point I am all sorts of confused and horney. How the fuck was he able to cum from a hug?


    He kept telling me he never saw a guy like me, I was so crazy different but everything he fantasized about...


    He put his hand on my crotch and my dick started to get hard. “Let me see him. Please let me just see him.”


    I am hard, drunk and wait for some guys to pass. I look over and I smile. There goes the button to my jeans. I take the zipper down somewhat in anticipation.


    My waist gets lifted and I pull it all down so he can see it all. My dick is straight up standing, balls hanging right in what this dude says is his car. I am thinking it’s probably his dads new car and it got lent to him but that is


    His hand reached out and grabbed my dick. Nice, I am going to get a handjob in a car.


    “Put your seat back a bit.”


    So I do. It’s comfortable, and it is feeling good. I let out some heavy breaths. I am getting pretty hard.


    “Relax. Let me take care of this.”


    I put the seat back some more and noticed how nice the lining of the car was.


    I feel his mouth and lips on my dick head. Holy fuck he is going to try it in a car!


    He stopped and said, “Relax. Close your eyes.”


    I did.


    I could feel him sucking on my dick, his hand firmly around the base of my dick. He couldn’t have been too comfortable twisting around like that but...


    As I laid there enjoying getting sucked I was just in a state of satisfaction. Fuck I love getting my dick sucked.


    He moved his hands along with his mouth, and when I got close I tapped him on the shoulder and he just went faster.


    I am gonna


    I blew. I blew my load right there in his mouth and he let out a noise that let you know he was happy with his reward for his work.


    He swallowed a few times.


    “Let’s see Times Square.”


    It was a state of drunken sexed bliss, driving through Times Square at night for the first time. He told me that he was just starting out in NYC and was working in clothing manufacturing. I needed to give him my digits and he would give me his because he wanted to send me some clothes when I called after I got back to my home state.


    He dropped me off at the bar, at this point there were not as many people inside. My friends were like there you are, we have been looking everywhere for you.


    “Where is your shirt?”


    I shrug. They had ordered me a drink or two that had the ice melt given I had disappeared but expected I drink it.


    “Let’s look for his shirt.”

    “He can’t keep his clothes on.”


    I smile. “Fuck!”


    We walked around and I learn my friend lost his cellphone. I laugh. I am so fucking trashed and feel like I am starting to move in slow motion.


    “Time to go.”


    I remember walking down the street. I see a group of people talking and a hot dude with a great ass just begging for a squeeze.


    I remember grabbing.


    Yelling. “He grabbed my ass.” More yelling. Anger.


    “He must be gay.”

    “Wtf”


    “He doesn’t know what he is doing. Chill out.”


    Everyone is looking at me and I am having a hard time keeping my eyes open.


    Laughing.


    “Tell him to behave and not to touch straight guys asses. My girlfriend wouldn’t like it. I don’t like it.”


    I am hurt. WTF. The reality that I just assumed someone that was near a gay bar at night was not actually gay and... I was the one that was different...


    As we find the subway entrance it is barred and closed. We have to walk blocks to find an open one.


    We waited for a train. A cute dude is right besides me on a bench.


    Not my finest moment, but he is annoyed with the drunks in NYC. People shouldn’t be giving me umbrellas when I am drunk. He just sits there and my friend tells me to just stop.


    Finally a train comes. Darkness.


    I am standing on a train, there is light from the morning sun rising and I gotta piss. I really got to piss. I take him out to piss.


    “What the fuck are you doing? You want to get arrested? Put that back in your pants now?”


    I realize there are some people in the same car, all watching, a woman with a concerned look on her face.


    I put hiM back in and


    Darkness.


    And we are somehow back to the hotel front door. Somewhere in Queens.


    Fuck, I can finally piss.


    Darkness.

    Hotel room. Friend screaming. Not exactly listening or caring.

    Darkness.
  12. I get this question a lot. It is something that gets asked over and over and deserves a blog entry.

    I didn’t really have anything to compare my dick to in high school other than some porn pictures I found on the internet. I didn’t have internet at my house so I had to sneak in peaks in the school computer lab and at work when no one was around. I started to save some of the digital pictures on a little disk drive. Those were before the days of usb flash drives.

    I digressed and that is a different story for a different day, porn at work.

    Once I got to college, there were all sorts of different guys around. I was pretty shy but was terrified someone would find out I was gay. The guys I hung around with had made some comments about some dudes in the dorm and it was obvious these rural dudes just didn’t understand. Over time in college I heard about crimes committed against gay dudes and some of the things that happened and it just closed me up a bit more.

    I eventually moved from that dorm to a different dorm where the tensions and dynamics were much different. This is where I would have my first blow job and sexual experience. I will save that story for another day as well.

    The dude that ended up being my first had a great smile, was good at sucking dick, but I wondered why his dick was so small. This was somewhat of a theme for a bit in college, the dudes I would find seemed to just be blown away by it, lots would just drop to their knees, give some head and be out the door. It wasn’t tons of guys, I didn’t really start opening up until my senior year of college. For me my dick looked like the stuff in magazines and on the internet but maybe a little different in shape. I was a bit self conscious about the curve. One guy I am still friends was about the third guy I let play with it. He told me my dick was really made for porn, and it was definitely a porn star dick. I took it as flattery. Guys just trying to build up my ego. Eventually I started hearing it from other dudes that encountered it. About the third or fourth time I heard this I said back, “I don’t understand why people say that.”

    I got sat down in the living room to be told it just wasn’t normal and how hard it was and that was why I didn’t get to really fuck him, because it hurt just for me to be inside. He was definitely down to see if he could but it just was too difficult. I thought it was a cop out of why I didn’t get to act out the scene I had been shown of a Bel Ami porn, and when I got hard it was go time to try.

    It took a guy running away from it after he saw it and said, “ain’t no way” and got out that door so fast. That was when I realized it was different. The first Boyfriend I had was senior year in college and he told everyone it was huge. He even would tell people that he previously hooked up with how much bigger I was and it became this rumor for a while. Then somewhat of a mini legend.

    There have been times I got jokes about it, one that comes to mind was “what do you feed that donkey dick?” It wasn’t someone that I was hooking up with but saw it in the same room while he was hooking up with a dude I brought into the room for him. I was busy with the guy that I had found, I know he didn’t mean anything by it but he was a bit freaked out by it.

    Other guys have laughed and taken it as a personal challenge to see how much they can fit in their mouth, or butt. Some failed, some succeeded and some run away. At the end of the day, it is something I have learned to accept and be proud of.

  13. Man I wanted to start writing this blog when I first joined back in 2018 when I first joined, but I held back to try and understand the site better. Now I wish I had started a bit earlier.

    A guy that I struck up a conversation on Instagram told me about LPSG after I had sent him a picture of my dick. He told me I belonged on here and that it’s a great place to view porn.

    The picture sending was after several conversations so don’t think I just randomly send dick pictures to guys on Instagram. Even if they ask. He was actually the first I had sent pictures to on Instagram. It was a natural curiosity about what I was packing given he had watched and liked my posts for some time. I trusted him and he really enjoyed me sharing this with him, even if it was just the dick in the pictures.

    I had learned we were going through several similar situations and had many similarities, and spent plenty of nights staying up and chatting back and forth with this guy on a personal level. But back to the point of this blog entry.

    When I first got to the site I took a look around in the forums and thought it was pretty cool. There were so many areas and hot things posted. I signed up for an account and started trying to figure out why it kept wanting my credit card when I was trying to look at some of the guys on here, or check out their videos. I saw people could have profiles and wanted to see what they put in them, and I was kind of frustrated but I kept coming back. The forums were working great.

    I posted some pictures and members from the site started liking and having conversations. It was obvious there was a community here. Eventually one dude asked me why I hadn’t verified and that I needed to do it. After trying to figure it out someone pointed me to the right forum for that. Got it done and this place just opened right up. This has been one of my absolute favorite sites ever, if not my favorite of all time.

    Why? In no particular order btw.

    1. The guys on here are amazing. There is support on so many levels. Very friendly positive guys on here, sometimes overly hot and they can be so hot it will distract you and you will get hard. You have a problem or issue you need help with? Most likely in the forums. You need someone to talk to or need to make digital friends? You will find them. There are amazing people here. I am gay so I am more into the guys here, but if you are a dude that is straight there are women here that also show. Believe it or not I have had really nice conversations with women on this site.

    2. The forums have more content than you will ever be able to devour over the course of your life. You can try, but it just isn’t possible to see everything. Forums and groups are a great place to socialize or catch up on things that get you off. You can even follow the threads and when you log in you click on the watched threads button and you can pick what you want to check out or wank to.

    3. You might find yourself asking for advice in a group forum you were invited to be in or even a main forum. Even a blog! With so many people, you always get a diverse response that helps you understand more about yourself and more about others.

    4. Total amazement at the beauty of all sorts of men sharing and supporting each other. You can see men from all over the world. This is truly a special supportive place.

    5. Video chat invitations from some of the hottest men on this site. Yes this happens, it happened to me this morning and it was from a legendary on this site, legendary for his body and dick, and everything else. What do you do when the gods reach out?

    6. The hot DMs. I meet some of the most amazing guys when they drop a dm. Lots of dudes slide right into my direct messages and call attention to their profile or have requests or fantasies or questions... I get lots of worship, support and questions in the dms. I met someone incredible yesterday and ended up talking to him most of the night. What an amazing dude, it was incredible. For DMs, I do my best to answer. Some of the guys on here have to get so much stuff it’s impossible to keep up, but luckily I post mostly just my dick and that makes it manageable.

    7. The notifications get me hard. There is nothing like logging in and you get to see that some guys have liked or commented on your dick. Even while you browse your forum porn, you know your dick is getting checked out. Your profile was discovered and someone took the time to give it love. I consider this to be another form of support and public display of acceptance of a dude and his manhood. Some of the most amazing dudes on here share incredible things, and if they have videos, you know you get to see that dick or butt in a real and incredible way.
    8E70FA1B-2459-4102-97D3-708EEB403CFC.jpeg

    8. With verification it helps you recognize a dick with a profile and know that it’s real. That dick is really attached to that person operating the profile. Sometimes it is a horned wife of a guy trying to get at your dick but it’s usually the dude.

    9. Contests. Some serious showing off going on there, it’s super cool to see these creative things @Shap is doing to encourage and support men to share and show. It makes things fun.

    10. You decide how active you are or how visible you want to be. Do you want to upload 500 pictures? I did over the course of time, if you asked me when I started, I would have said maybe 50 max, but there is something to being loved, liked, supported that will keep a guy like me sharing.

    I have probably left some big things out, so if I did feel free to add by commenting. I know that the worship and love is addicting, and it is a big ego boost to have guys let you know when they like what you are packing.

    I have way too many ideas for future blog posts so stay tuned, I am thinking that I am going to try tackling some of my journey and discovering parts of myself with recent exhibitional experiences. Maybe something lighter first?

    I am going to end the entry with one of my dick pictures. See you soon.
    Redwoody, Murphys, nicnic and 22 others like this.
  14. Here is the requested video from last night as requested to go with the previous blog entry.
  15. Last night I stayed up late tugging on my dick. I should have just gone to bed and went to sleep but I got into a conversation with @otter_pop on Twitter and I just got right into it. I gave into my hard dick and decided to play with him for a bit. I wasn’t sure that I wanted to make a mess. Posted a picture on here and something about the conversations that go on here are a big turn on and some of you guys are fast to react with what I was up to. That just pushes me to a point where I want to continue playing with him.


    I edged my dick, for a bit over two hours and made a huge mess, it was hot seeing the conversations/comments knowing you knew what I was doing and wanted to help.


    I know that washcloth is still drying out this morning but is going to be crunchy when it’s done drying.

    I was not able to go to sleep fast, or stay asleep, but I continued to feel the buzz that comes from working to empty my balls from a hard edging session. The feeling is like that first time you went out late and got head, instead of being ready for the next day. Some sort of excitement.

    I stayed up late Friday night and then again last night and was surprised by the amount of cum that came out last night given the huge amount that came out on Friday night. I am not sure how that happened. I am not always used to such massive loads, but two so close together makes me wonder if I just in overdrive or what.

    This definitely is a natural high, somewhat like a trance. My mind is not exactly having random thoughts and my mind is not entirely clear or fast but keeps going over these bate sessions. Not sure I have even emptied them completely but will have to try doing that to see if it will help chop him down for awhile. Maybe giving the attention makes it worse but Spring does it to me.
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