Average and Below Average Guys: How did you make peace with your penis size and overcome envy/insecurity.

[masc4thanos]

Lately I've been experiencing some deep disdain for my penis size (I'm roughly 5-6 inches) and it's led to me having a lot of penis envy and jealously toward guys that are well-hung. It feels unfair quite frankly. It's like some guys hit the genetic lottery (big dick, great body, great face) and others like myself lost out in every department. Any tips for overcoming this, especially in a gay community that is becoming increasingly driven by looks and physical attributes?

 

[RiverNeptune]

I'm 4.8–5 inches, and I feel the same feelings you described.

 

[LPSG Support]

4-6 inches is well within the bounds of average and not small at all.

Are you comparing to people in real life that you meet, or to porn, where people are often cast for their anomalous size?

 

[winesthel945]

I've got news for you. ~5 inches is very average. You have an unrealistic view of reality, probably due to watching porn. In my ~35 years of having sex, ~5-6 inches is definitely the average size of cock I've played with. If you are feeling inadequate, I think you need to reframe your reality. If your feelings are impacting your dating or hooking up, then you definitely need to talk to someone like a therapist who can help you stop worrying about things you cannot change.

I can also confirm that having known a number of folks with larger cocks, they are definitely a mixed blessing. Lots of guys with large cocks experience higher frequency of erectile issues -- even a momentary lapse of excitement can take them a while to get it back up. (I've personally seen this about 50% of the times I've played with guys over 8".)

Also lots of large guys find that unless they hook up with very experienced bottoms, they will have difficulties getting in and staying in and staying hard. Very large penises inside very tight asses can result in blood being squeezed out and losing their erection. This is rarely an issue for those of us with 5-6" dicks.

Finally, if there's anyone making you feel bad about your size (other than you), you need to cut those toxic assholes out of your life. You are very normal.

 

[Tbprivate]

For what it’s worth, I’ve always preferred average size dicks rather than Hung, I don’t want my mouth and ass strained. Much happier when I can enjoy and accommodate the guy comfortably

 

[deleted13822901]

Girl I can’t change bodies wtf is envy going to do?

 

[deleted13822901]

Lately I've been experiencing some deep disdain for my penis size (I'm roughly 5-6 inches) and it's led to me having a lot of penis envy and jealously toward guys that are well-hung. It feels unfair quite frankly. It's like some guys hit the genetic lottery (big dick, great body, great face) and others like myself lost out in every department. Any tips for overcoming this, especially in a gay community that is becoming increasingly driven by looks and physical attributes?

Lately I've been experiencing some deep disdain for my penis size (I'm roughly 5-6 inches) and it's led to me having a lot of penis envy and jealously toward guys that are well-hung. It feels unfair quite frankly. It's like some guys hit the genetic lottery (big dick, great body, great face) and others like myself lost out in every department. Any tips for overcoming this, especially in a gay community that is becoming increasingly driven by looks and physical attributes?

Nope. Gay community is superficial. Hire and escort, or get lucky. If not then it’s over.

 

[nhguy78]

Lately I've been experiencing some deep disdain for my penis size (I'm roughly 5-6 inches) and it's led to me having a lot of penis envy and jealously toward guys that are well-hung. It feels unfair quite frankly. It's like some guys hit the genetic lottery (big dick, great body, great face) and others like myself lost out in every department. Any tips for overcoming this, especially in a gay community that is becoming increasingly driven by looks and physical attributes?

I realise that some men absolutely prefer smaller dick over bigger ones. My husband has so jaw issues so even my size is a .... Stretch for him.

Sometimes that is not enough though. This site and Twitter and others do not do much for my mental health. I need actual validation and desire. So often were told that we can just bottom. No, I don't want to be ignored like that. I want equal pleasure. I give you pleasure and you give me pleasure. Anal isn't the same.

So, I just find the people that appreciate my size and can truly enjoy it and not ignore or shame it.

 

[nhguy78]

4-6 inches is well within the bounds of average and not small at all.

Are you comparing to people in real life that you meet, or to porn, where people are often cast for their anomalous size?

Often people mix in SPH and put shaming connotation on size. It usually comes out like "you're only ___ inches" or "I don't care about size because I don't intend to bottom."

I still think a positive small dick forum would be cool.

 

[littleguy2]

Lately I've been experiencing some deep disdain for my penis size (I'm roughly 5-6 inches) and it's led to me having a lot of penis envy and jealously toward guys that are well-hung. It feels unfair quite frankly. It's like some guys hit the genetic lottery (big dick, great body, great face) and others like myself lost out in every department. Any tips for overcoming this, especially in a gay community that is becoming increasingly driven by looks and physical attributes?

I have a thin 5 inch hardon which I don't really have an issue with other than I wish it was thicker or thoughts of what it would be like to have a really big hardon. Sexually it is fine with my wife who has no complaints. I have an extremely small flaccid penis which bothers me more than my hard size. When I feel sorry for myself I think about all the good physically attributes I have that others don't. I also think about the very very small number of people who know I have a small dick and realize it is not s big deal

 

[COni]

Lately I've been experiencing some deep disdain for my penis size (I'm roughly 5-6 inches) and it's led to me having a lot of penis envy and jealously toward guys that are well-hung. It feels unfair quite frankly. It's like some guys hit the genetic lottery (big dick, great body, great face) and others like myself lost out in every department. Any tips for overcoming this, especially in a gay community that is becoming increasingly driven by looks and physical attributes?

I have to say, I felt what you wrote deeply. I am between 5-6 inches myself (sorry, not sure exactly how much as we use the metric system here) and struggled for a very long time with the same issue. As a teenager I used to look at the other boys in the chancing room after sport lessons and kept comparing myself to them and felt always out of their league, always too much or too little of something in comparison to everybody else. I felt endless shame for not being “pretty enough”, “big enough” “man enough”. When I grew up I realized that everyone feels insecure, doesn’t matter how good they can hide it or what their insecurity is about. I understood that what’s important is a healthy relationship with our body, our mind and our whole self. If you compare yourself to someone else, you are always going to feel unsatisfied and strive to be someone you are not. You are unique, there’s no else like you and never will be.
To be honest, size may matter to many, but in the end, are they really the right ones for you?
There are some many men out there who not only appreciate the size (talking out of experience) but are way happier with a “smaller” and enjoyable size rather than with a long & fat cock, which will hurt while sucking them or having anal.
And in all honesty, unfortunately many gay men are often very superficial and you could be “perfect” according to their standards and still not satisfy them. So I’d suggest you to go out there and enjoy yourself rather than stressing yourself too much about what others see as a must and thinking more about what you want for yourself

 

[PutItInHere691]

Ignorance comes in many shapes…

people don’t like other races.. thinking their race is superior

girls with small tits get picked on to being member of itty bitty titty committee ..
But there are people that accept a person for race.. I know I do and been with a couple and enjoyed it quite alot

the size of a man’s penis is also something I won’t turn down .. big or small green purple blue.. they all deserve attention reguardless …

those who turn down dick for that reason has issues .. x just because your dixk is bigger can have issues.. can get erect part way but not rock hard isn’t a good thing.. just because your dick is big doesn’t mean you’re instantly a good fuck .. so don’t flatter yourself ..

You guys with the small cocks if were here I’d suck your cock as often you want and let fuck me as well

 

[vita2016]

I am sorry you feel this way

It really is the genetic lottery though... some guys are tall, have massive dicks, some are short and have small dicks. Some are born super smart, some are born into massive wealth.

My dick is 5.5" and quite thin so I did not win the lottery but I am a bottom (and love being a bottom ) so it doesn't really make much difference as tops don't really care about my size.

I guess you wanna top though?

 

[chpoof]

I have a 5.5 inch penis (fully erect), and I can genuinely say I've never once felt even the slightest size insecurity or envy. I'm perfectly content with what I have and have never once even considered whether a partner would be disappointed once I slipped off my underwear (they never have been). My penis is there for my pleasure, not his—the same way that his penis is there for his pleasure, not mine. And speaking of partners, I've gotten just as excited over a small dick as I have over a large one (most have been either average or on the small side). I've never once looked at a partner's penis and thought, "Gee, how is he going to please me with that?" On the contrary, my thought is always, "I can't wait to get down there and please him!"

My suggestion: Don't put any energy into thinking about the size of your penis. If a partner doesn't appreciate what nature gave you, they're not worth worrying about (and I would apply this all across the board, not just to gay men).

BTW—and please pardon me for getting on a soapbox here—I'm so freakin' sick of hearing this "gay community driven by looks and physical attributes" talk, like gays are the shallowest people on the planet; firstly, because I've been out in this "gay" community for many years now, and there are all kinds of guys out there if you take the time to explore and get to know them; and secondly, all communities are driven by looks to a large degree (seriously, do you think social media is all about conversation?). And lastly, if you can stomach it (I can't), take a good look at the vast majority of the reality TV garbage out there and tell me it's not "driven by looks."

Just my 2 cents...

 

[chpoof]

My dick is 5.5" and quite thin so I did not win the lottery but I am a bottom (and love being a bottom ) so it doesn't really make much difference as tops don't really care about my size.

My first boyfriend's dick was basically like yours. Our relationship didn't work out, but it had nothing whatsoever to do with his penis size. (He was a natural bottom.)

Just checked out your gallery. Holy shit, you are stunningly beautiful!

 

[thatjohn]

Lately I've been experiencing some deep disdain for my penis size (I'm roughly 5-6 inches) and it's led to me having a lot of penis envy and jealously toward guys that are well-hung. It feels unfair quite frankly. It's like some guys hit the genetic lottery (big dick, great body, great face) and others like myself lost out in every department. Any tips for overcoming this, especially in a gay community that is becoming increasingly driven by looks and physical attributes?

I can definitely relate to what you are saying. I don't have a deep disdain but I do envy other's size at times. Especially when soft, I find myself a bit uncomfortable. I wish my dick didn't shrink so much while soft. I have been trying to be more comfortable with it in the gym and have only been better when I have seen others like myself. It's rough when I look around and most have what I wish mine looked like soft. However, I have never had a complaint when it comes to sex and I think my average size has worked quite well for the bottoms I have been with.

I feel like looks though is subjective. You might be harsh on yourself and plenty of people could find your looks attractive. I know I fluctuate with how I feel about my looks though I am viewed as normally handsome. As that saying goes, "we are our own worst critic".

Same goes for bodies. I personally like all body types. I'm not the biggest fan of my own...but I'm also in the gym trying to work on that. But plenty of guys don't mind a bit of belly! lol

I think the biggest thing I could recommend is to remove porn and maybe get into a gym that has a wide use of the locker-room. It has been a huge help for me to be more relaxed in my own skin to be naked around other men. It also helps to see others like myself and to be less envious of others.....especially when said others are checking you out...LOL

 

[hourhamster]

I'm a 20 year old with a small cock.
I felt insecure and embarrassed about what ti was packing for years, especially in high school. But, luckily for me I guess it turned into a kink so now I just have a massive size kink and I like seeing guys with different sized dicks. I like my size and I like people talking about my size too.

 

[deleted22826031]

I'm in my 30's and it took a long time to accept the fact that my below average member isn't going to get bigger. I will say finding others online who are in the same boat helped. There's that sense of not being alone that made me feel ok with it. It also helps knowing not everyone cares about huge dongs. Different people have different preferences. Just look for the ones that don't care.

 

[varina1]

What to make peace with? Hell I had a hookup one time that was about 8"+ and really thick. I couldn't take his cock in my ass but when we flipped he had me stop & we ended up blowing each other cause I was causing him discomfort lol.... We both laughed about it and still got each other off and I am just an average guy. I don't care about size.
1. Do they get hard?
2. Can I make him cum and supply pleasure?
3. Can he make me cum and supply pleasure
4. Is it that he HAS an asshole or IS he an asshole lolol

I've been with bigger and smaller than me. I dont get hung up on penis size.... pun very much intended

 

[deleted19861241]

The only peace I have ever had is when I can keep it out of a relationship. I know the info is not good but if it isn't talked about, the blissful ignorance is the closest to peace I can have.

Sadly women can't help but drop hints about how big their ex was / how small you are, so yet again I'm at the bottom of the pile and really struggling with it.