That line is from an encounter I had last summer when I rode my bike over four-five miles at about 1:00 AM in response to an ad (and brief conversation) on Manhunt. I still have no idea why, but somehow I neglected to read his specs on his profile: the pix were really hot though.
I find this guy's house, ring the bell, and this mammoth muscular mountain of man answers the door; at first I thought I'd gone to the wrong house! He looked like his pix just 3x bigger than I was expecting. He was easily 6'4 and musta weighed about 270+. His ass was like two basketballs in a pillowcase and hard as a fucking rock, just like the rest of him.
I know VB's actually met me, but for those who are unfamiliar with me, I'm a full 5'6 and weigh about 150 soaking wet: my mouth didn't even reach his nipples. Within five minutes I realized that, though he conformed to much of my criteria and preferences, we really weren't going to be compatible from a chemistry perspective :redface: I should have just left, but stayed as it had taken almost 45 minutes to get there and wasn't interested in riding back home so quickly, so after a few minute's conversation, we get down to business.
First of all, he wasn't really bendy-flexy because of all that muscle, and most conventional positions just wouldn't work, so we ended up with legs in the air, ass on the edge of a rather low platform bed that necessitated me squatting in a way that would not be comfortable for more than five or so minutes at a time. I couldn't kiss him because his legs wouldn't bend back and his face felt four yards away.
The worst part was that his ass was both so big, hard and tight that I had to fuck through 6" of ass before even hitting the hole. Lucky for us both that that wasn't an insurmountable problem for me
, but it still was a very shallow and unsatisfying penetration for me, though he didn't seem to mind.
After about 90 minutes of mostly frustrating, vanilla play (very very very vanilla: WTF was I thinking?) I was just about to give up and get dressed when his BF showed up. I recognized him as a bouncer from one of the clubs here in FtL; he was taller and bigger than the other one! He was totally cool and completely nonplussed at my being there, so presumably he'd been told in advance, though I hadn't been warned at all. Of course, the BF was a bottom/versatile too
I found that the BF was even less flexible than the first guy, and that whole squatting on the bed thing, this time with two enormous, muscular asses to play with, was both comical and not extremely productive. After about a half hour, another guy showed up who was somewhat more their size and I felt relieved. A quick wash-up in the bathroom and I was getting dressed.
Let's just say that I'll never respond to another ad without first reading the specs on the profile extremely carefully.
