Why do older men become bi-curious

[WadWorshipper]

A good question. Perhaps as they age, they permit themselves to be more honest about thoughts that previously had been submerged and shoved away. My opinion is that very few males are strictly hetero. Most of us are a mixture. I started sensing this in my 20's, just a bit. It increased over time. By the time my wife had cheated on me and was only giving very poor sex, I was FULLY interest in young guys, so went to gay bars on business trips, and found young men that would let me touch them and grope them a bit, safely, for a tip. I was content with this for a while. Then one of them followed me back to my hotel room and gave me the hottest sex of my life and I was hooked. That was many bottoms ago. As someone else said, it feels natural for me to bond with females, but for mutually enjoyable sex, guys rule. I love pleasing young men. Everyone needs a hobby, right? (Sorry if I answered this thread once before.)

 

[Biryder]

In my opinion many older guys are just acting on desires they have kept buried most of their lives. They may have had experiences as a boy but not after. Fear of being caught and marked as gay.

From several I have chatted with with the computer age they were able to explore much more than just magazines. Opening their eyes to a new world.

For others sex at home has died out. After suppressing their feelings and not wanting to feel like they were cheating they finally give in.

Many realize that this is something they wanted all along. I feel they begin to think like me. “It is just a couple of guys having fun “

 

[Mister2101]

The curiosity never goes away.....and just gets stronger and stronger the older we get.......plus MM sex is generally so much easier to arrange...with less "work"...less stress....and less drama....and, and this is very big.........MM sex is really really good....

 

[Mister2101]

I think it's less a matter of "becoming" bi-curious than it is facing and accepting the interests they've had all along but refused to acknowledge. Feelings they probably first noticed and locked away when they hit puberty (likely due to the stigma associated with same sex attraction and or family influence) but as they get older and feel more secure in who they are and their place in life those feelings free from the worry of youth resurface and they accept and/or act upon it. This is my personal opinion at any rate.

I think this is very true...........at least for me. And it was such a powerful feeling for me, that first time with another man....letting go of all those inhibitions.....the potential embarrassment.....anxiety (?)......shame (?).....fear (?)......the release of all these pent-up feelings.....and giving in to the curiosity.....the sexual desire and sexual hunger....taking my clothes off in front of him....feeling myself getting hard.....and not being "ashamed"....was so exciting and exhilarating....and then the physical (and mental & emotional) pleasure from feeling and tasting another man.......was just a wonderful experience......
I think older men are searching and wanting this experience......

 

[lighthero33]

From what my regular hookup told me, his was more convenience and that times have changed. His wife stopped giving it up so he went online looking for a girl. Usually got guys hitting him up so he finally agreed to let a guy blow him. Then let more blow him, and eventually led to him sucking the guys and having sex. Now he’s a total bottom for guys but still gets girl action. He has mentioned that if it was more acceptable when he was younger, he might have done it and discovered his desires much earlier.

 

[Tight_End_SC]

I think it's because you reach a point in your life where you are just more comfortable being yourself and less concerned about how others view your personal business. Also, @lighthero33 described what has happened to millions of men who actually identified as strictly hetero. The look on their faces when they get their first bj from a man is priceless !! Yea, they come back for more.

 

[throbb]

It gets harder and harder to experience new exploration as you age, esp if you are in a monogamous relationship.

As I age, I would like to be like I was when I was younger - more athletic, trim, fit, virile, intensely sexual. Other men, younger men, remind me of myself when I was younger. I found that younger body of mine and their young bodies more attractive than my current body. Copious amounts of semen or cum have become associated in my mind with youth, vigor, strength. And every aging man wants that.

it also helps to be older and unlearn stereotypes and judgment by others and just focus on what you want. Having a sexual thought about another man isn't so earth breaking or shattering once you know your own self and have your own independently thought-out values.

There is just so much judgment out there, and as you get older you see what BS it is. It becomes harder and harder to imagine that pleasure or love between two men is wrong in any way the more and more aware you are of other people's influences on you.

It is also just a great shame to see people tortured about sex...though some men on this site have clearly figured out how to escape guilt, shame, judgment or unexamined behavior.

it is also just really easy with men... gay men are more straightforward, they know how to please in some ways better than women because they know what feels good to them.

 

[HOU_HEADHUNTER]

I think older men become bicurious because it's always been there but they never acted on it when they were younger. There are many reasons why men stay closeted for so long but times are changing and some men are accepting that part of themselves when they seek pleasure. The stigma of being labeled gay isn't as bad as it once was in the past. I know quite a few openly bisexual men who came out later in their life. Seems like most of them chose to do so once their kids became grown or they went through a divorce.

 

[goldscorpguy]

Like others have said, with age you gain more security and confidence. You start thinking about your own mortality, and wanting to try things that were maybe suppressed in earlier life. In my forties there was this sudden availability of free, internet porn, and no-one cared what you looked at. For me, a man's cock became just as erotic as looking at pussy. I remember chatting to lots of guys in those early Yahoo and AOL chatrooms, and being amazed at just how many out there were bi or curious. When the opportunity arose to experience it in the real world, I couldn't fight it, and I'm so glad I didn't.

 

[Parts Guy]

I had bi experience as a young teen, but then society and acceptance gets in the way. As a middle aged man, I care less about what society thinks.

 

[1119457]

Because it's easy to find a guy to suck me off . Seems like guys know how to suck way better than girls , but im open minded , if there's a pretty cocksucking girl that can change my mind lol . Yeah but for me it's just because i can find a guy to suck me off everyday either online or at the bookstore in Garden Grove California . Always a cocksuckers in OC hit me up

 

[merc41]

In my case I just got fed up dealing with reluctant , prudish females. Girls and guys just have different views on sex. As we age many women don't feel the need for a physical relationship with their husbands. Male libido is much higher than a women's. To be very blunt it is much easier to find a male partner than female. You can find a guy that's into every kink or fetish there is. Not so much with women. My attitude is it's just skin I don't care if it's male or female

 

[TrynBi]

I think it’s a bottled up desire that stays buried for too long and also what helps to bring it out is the problematic dilemma of meeting women and getting them to have sex.

Nowadays, older women want to feel young and they cater to a younger man who fulfills their own desires. They don’t view sex the same way men do.

With a man, we are easy to find, cut through the bullshit and understand it’s just pleasure without attachment. We are able to switch into pleasure mode, then walk away and resume our normal lives.

I believe at an older age, men might view pleasure from sexual activity as simply as a task. They enjoy the task, but when they get horny, they just want to get off and move on. Other men help to accomplish this efficiently.

 

[deleted5698211]

Definitely the older I get the more bi (gay) I become. In fact, right now, I am the most into guys I have ever been. God knows what I will be like when I am 60 haha

 

[WilliamG]

I also think the increased explosion of porn over the last 2 decades has made men more curious in general. They're exposed to way more big cocks via porn than ever before.

I know in my case i always had curiosity to a small degree, but once internet porn came along, my desire to try it just went thru the roof.

Bingo. And it's not even the "big cocks". It gave acceptance for men to look at other men sexually without judgement. When I was in my twenties... My gf at the time had Playgirl magazines in her bedroom. The first time I spent the night... She got out of bed to use the shower. I picked up the Playgirl and got a boner... Fast forward... The internet.

 

[merc41]

Me too! Love trans women. But if the wife could grow a cock perfect.

 

[latinbriefs]

I have two straight buddies that I've played with regularly that would probably fit somewhere on the bi spectrum, but they are both outwardly gay men and as far as I know, neither of them are interested in romantic relationships with other men. I think in both cases, they were unsatisfied in their sex lives. One of my buddies is close to being in his 40s now, but he likes getting head from other men, as well as being rimmed. I would hazard to guess that the women he's been with don't like giving oral sex and/or he's never brought up wanting to be rimmed to them.

The other is a former coworker that is the same age as me (30) that I started regularly giving head to. He was very curious about sex with other men since as far as I know, I was the first guy messed around with and he's told me before that he's wanted to get fucked, as well. Unfortunately due to factors like covid, it was really difficult for us to actually find places to hookup.

My perception is that it's more complicated for men to seek out casual sex from women due to different factors (risk of unwanted pregnancy, etc). Another thing I would add is that both of my straight friends are Latino men and I still believe it is very much taboo to be an out, especially for men. So there is still always the risk of being ostracized from friends and family. I think it is changing a little bit hopefully, but a lot of older Catholic Latinos are still very much close-minded.

 

[sissyjanine]

Because the wives no longer want sex!!

100% this.

 

[sac1066]

I am almost 57. I didnt delve in until i was 49. I had an experience with a friend when i was 18 and we were drunk. That story is on here somewhere. i felt guilty of the experience but didnt think i was gay. I still loved looking at woman and boobies, butts, and pussy. If you watch a lot of straight porn, you are going to see hard cocks. Most just deal with it, some are intrigued. most all men enjoy bj's even the bad ones. when wife/girlfriend wont do it and jacking gets boring you start thinking of alternatives. A lot of men have been to adult store, looking for videos, toys, or lingerie. Some of those have theatres and/or peep booths. you start thinking about getting blown or blowing one. most guys know that if you want a bj, you can find a guy to do it. A lot of connection sites, remember the fun of Craigslist? If you want to give a bj, you can always find someone wanting one. I had thought about it for years after accidently watching a bi sexual video. In early 2016, i took off from work on a friday night and went to an adult store. I didnt even know if they had gloryholes. I was very nervous. Had my coins. Went into the back and went in first booth i saw and stayed there. There was two holes. Sat for a while and looked through hole and eventually a cock came through. I had no idea what i was doing. Stroked it a bit and then started licking the head. I basically made out with the cockhead. He came, i spit it out, and sat there. soon came another. I sucked 4 cocks that first night and never looked back. I even swallowed one of their cums. Love looking at gay, bisexual, straight, and lesbian porn. whatever my mood is. I have never had a relationship with a guy but wouldnt be opposed to it for the right one. That's my story.

 

[kcdave]

I think society is different now than when most you older people grew up. Things that were taboo and off limits when you were growing up are now more encouraged. most people you’re age probably never knew a gay kid in school. I’m not that old but at 28 I was leaving school right s round the time things were really changing but I probably knew 4 total gay guys in school I was in the closet. I asked my cousin awhile back how many gay kids are in his school and he responded with “a lot” he couldn’t actually give me a number. So I think it’s simply just living in a time where people are more encouraged to embrace their feelings and try new things without being judged.

Kids today don’t have the stigma issue we faced as a teen in the 1970’s

They are lucky to be able to live open and gay if they choose.