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Most gay guys would love to be a father but they realise it takes a lot of self control.
These days things are easier, its more accepted that there are gay dads out there and the fact the sleep with other guys, having sired offspring and nom one takes a bit of notice, one thing we should be grateful for is they way the outlook has changed.
Back in, as they say the day any gay guy who sired kids had to do so and give up sleeping with guys, should he cross the line, should he be outed then the consequences were dire. One friend from the past did have the most amazing family but while his wife knew of his desire to sleep with guys - and he was doing it - the fear of public outing was to much and when a whisper got round that was the end of things. Another friend found the strain of leading a normal life to much and walked out on huis family rather than risk being "found out"
That said, I was seduced, got drunk and ended up in bed with a women who shortly after announce she was pregnant so I did the decent thing, got married, gave up men. After that its a long story but the outshot was that having been used as a breeder I wasn't much good and she went off with another guy. The good thing for me, though hard work, was she left me with twin boys to raise as a single dad. By now totally disillusioned by the thing called love, not trusting anyone to get close I made it through my life till my home life changed and I was able to live my life fully the way I wanted.
Its been very complicated and some great fun, but knowing that a gay dad would be suspect made the effort worth while and for q18 years or so I was a monk left with only my strong right hand for comfort.
For me I did realise a dream I had but thought impossible, for me what I did is the most important thing ever and I am proud of me, and very very proud of them.

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Who would guess Chris that you went through so much? I greatly respect how you (as they say) made lemonade from the lemons you were handed.