So let’s start! I have no experience writing a blog but I’ll wing it
I have low self esteem and probably for no reason. Sure I’ve been over weight but never experienced bullying to develop the low self esteem. I have lost weight but still feel like I’m overweight. I think I get it from just being a loner or shy. Never really developed a sense of worth. I have made mistakes financially that lead me to live at home with my parents while I’m my early 30’s and that has me down but can be fixed with time. I have an extremely hard time dating. I feel pretty invisible to anyone I find attractive. All that is probably a mess but it should get better as o post more.
Now why I’m feeling anxious, I meet someone a month ago and he seemed cool but I think he just wanted sex or someone else to add to the roster of friends with benefits. I am not built that way. I feel very fast not in love obviously but maybe an infatuation. I found him attractive and he found me attractive. So after hanging for a bit. He decided we’d be better as friends and while as friends I was hesitant. I decided I’d give it a shot. I am worried I’ll become more infatuated with him and not be able to put my feelings aside. So I stopped texting. Then my anxiety kicked in because I’m leaving a possible friendship on the table. Here is someone who’s gay and wants to be friends. I don’t have any gay friends but I cannot help but feel like I’m being used. He doesn’t want to hang out so far but wants to be friends?? Umm okay.
I don’t know that’s all I can rant about today lol.
I have low self esteem and probably for no reason. Sure I’ve been over weight but never experienced bullying to develop the low self esteem. I have lost weight but still feel like I’m overweight. I think I get it from just being a loner or shy. Never really developed a sense of worth. I have made mistakes financially that lead me to live at home with my parents while I’m my early 30’s and that has me down but can be fixed with time. I have an extremely hard time dating. I feel pretty invisible to anyone I find attractive. All that is probably a mess but it should get better as o post more.
Now why I’m feeling anxious, I meet someone a month ago and he seemed cool but I think he just wanted sex or someone else to add to the roster of friends with benefits. I am not built that way. I feel very fast not in love obviously but maybe an infatuation. I found him attractive and he found me attractive. So after hanging for a bit. He decided we’d be better as friends and while as friends I was hesitant. I decided I’d give it a shot. I am worried I’ll become more infatuated with him and not be able to put my feelings aside. So I stopped texting. Then my anxiety kicked in because I’m leaving a possible friendship on the table. Here is someone who’s gay and wants to be friends. I don’t have any gay friends but I cannot help but feel like I’m being used. He doesn’t want to hang out so far but wants to be friends?? Umm okay.
I don’t know that’s all I can rant about today lol.
