So after about a week away from this site, I have decided to once again to grace you with my presence.
Now let the emo rant commence!
So I have a girlfriend, but as my friends are quick to tell me, we aren't a real couple. There's no real affection and there's just a general coldness. I think a lot of it is her way, but I don't like and I am left feeling very emotionally unfulfilled in the relationship. I definitely get the feeling that she's with me, solely because she has no other options. I am thoroughly convinced that once someone else comes along, she will leave me.
The problem is that I don't want to break up with her, even though I feel like I should, simply because as distant as she is, it's better than just being alone.
For me, being single is depressing. I'm very unconfident and have a poor self image, so being single reinforces the negative opinions that I already hold about myself. When I get rejected for a date I think, "of course she doesn't want to go out with me. No one would want to go out me, I'm horrible." When I don't have a good first date I think, "Of course she didn't like me. I'm horrible. It must be torture to spend time with me." Just the act of being single makes me think, "Of course I'm single. No woman would want me. I'm a fat, deformed monster."
People who have a positive self image, they don't think like that. They think that whoever rejected them just wasn't their type or whatever and move on, but for me it's always a horrible experience that reminds me of just how horrible I am.
So right now, we're in a kind of relationship impasse. I don't think either one of us really wants to be with the other person, we're just kind of hanging on because neither one of us wants to be alone.
Now let the emo rant commence!
So I have a girlfriend, but as my friends are quick to tell me, we aren't a real couple. There's no real affection and there's just a general coldness. I think a lot of it is her way, but I don't like and I am left feeling very emotionally unfulfilled in the relationship. I definitely get the feeling that she's with me, solely because she has no other options. I am thoroughly convinced that once someone else comes along, she will leave me.
The problem is that I don't want to break up with her, even though I feel like I should, simply because as distant as she is, it's better than just being alone.
For me, being single is depressing. I'm very unconfident and have a poor self image, so being single reinforces the negative opinions that I already hold about myself. When I get rejected for a date I think, "of course she doesn't want to go out with me. No one would want to go out me, I'm horrible." When I don't have a good first date I think, "Of course she didn't like me. I'm horrible. It must be torture to spend time with me." Just the act of being single makes me think, "Of course I'm single. No woman would want me. I'm a fat, deformed monster."
People who have a positive self image, they don't think like that. They think that whoever rejected them just wasn't their type or whatever and move on, but for me it's always a horrible experience that reminds me of just how horrible I am.
So right now, we're in a kind of relationship impasse. I don't think either one of us really wants to be with the other person, we're just kind of hanging on because neither one of us wants to be alone.
