Suicide has touched my family

I'm so sorry for your loss.

No one ever really knows what another person is going through. Some men in our society take a "losing a woman" as a reflection on their manhood - hence some beat (or worse) women who try to leave them. A few guys can't take the (perceived) shame and do what your nephew did. It really is sad our culture puts so much emphasis on "coupledom." It really devalues single people. I won't go off on that tangent for the time being.

A good friend has a schizophrenic sister who committed suicide. He had asked her a few years earlier what it was like to be schizophrenic. She said it was like a radio in your head you couldn't turn off. He told me he couldn't have put up with that and he probably would have committed suicide years earlier if he had to suffer that.

He was able to forgive her by having empathy for what it must have been like for her to suffer with her condition. As hard as it is for you right now, try to forgive your nephew. The pain he felt must have been very great for him to do this. (Not saying it was justified by any stretch of the imagination.)

Love and forgiveness are two of the most powerful forces there are. Remember that depression is a medical condition. The chemicals in the brain are literally in different ratios and that absolutely affects us. If he was clinically depressed, he wasn't himself. In other words it wasn't the nephew you knew and loved who took his life but some other person. Don't hold it again the nephew you knew.

I'm certainly not a minister or counselor but if you want to chat with a stranger (sometimes that's easier) just to talk out loud and try to process it, I'm on Yahoo.

My heart goes out to you and your family Calambo. I can only imagine what thoughts are going through all of your heads.

Peace to you and your family.

Very sorry for your loss. The situation is never good when you have to find one of your loved ones.
Peace be with you in your family during these hard times. Focus on the positive, know that he is at peace now.

Oh i'm so sorry to hear that:frown1:

OMG!

My thoughts and prayers go out to you and the family that have to deal with this crisis. I hope the best for the kids future.

Good thoughts and prayers for you and your family.

My prayers and thoughts are with you ..... I am so so sorry. J x

Hey guy my thoughts and prayers will be with you and you family as you work through this emotional time

Your little PA Buddy

My heart goes out to you. My dad lost two sisters and a cousin to suicide. It was a selfish act for your nephew, but at the time, he was seeing it as his only option. He panicked, in his midlife crisis. In time, I hope your family will all forgive him, and remember the man he was, and not the awful ending.
If you are able, keep his wife and kids close, and mourn with them if you can. Death has a way of blowing a family apart, or pulling it together. I hope yours pulls together. In the meantime, I'll keep a place warm for you and yours in my heart and thoughts.

Suicide has touched my family far more often than cancer. I will not tell you to attempt to lose your anger. You won't until the time is right. But please acknowledge that every day each of us fight our own demons. Sometimes, the demons win. Do not let others destroy the holidays for those children. Teach them a toast that will last them a lifetime; "To our loved ones who are gone, and to our loved ones who are still here".

Prayers and tears from North Texas.

I am very sorry to hear of your loss. I am a businessman in the UK and due to the recession I to got very depressed, to the stage where I did not want to wake in the mornings. It is a dark lonely place, but luckily I had the strength, the help and my family to pull me back from the darkness. I am a guy who doesnt do "wear your heart on your sleeve" very well, infact at all!

Your Nephew was not weak, he just could not see a way back. He probably made everyone believe he was "dealing with it" as I would also.

The hardest part is taking help when offered, reaching out without a sense of failure.

Please believe that in his eyes, he was not being selfish, he would not have seen the hurt it would cause to his children or even you. He sounds as if he is a very proud person, unfortunetly proud people dont take help easily.

I would like to think as your Nephew as being very brave!
So many people that are in this dark place believe they should inflict this pain and darkness on the rest of the family, he did not, he did not hurt his wife, even more important he did not take the children with him, he did not seek revenge. He will still be there, but through his children. I know, I had the same thoughts.

Please take this time to deflect that anger (which I know will destroy you if you dont.... I lost me brother when I was 6 yrs old and he was 7 yrs old. I am now 41yrs and still get angry at the thought of my loss).

Put all that anger in to loving those children as if they were your own, Step up! dont step away. You will heal much quicker and have fonder memories.

I am not a religious man (probably due to my losses) but I wish you Gods Help, remember to reach out also.

Sg6869

I'm a religious man, despite my many losses. A nephew to cancer, a sister to cancer, a daughter who only lived 11 days. You get the picture. I was at a deacon's meeting when I got the news of my sister's death. It helps to know that people care. Obviously by the response of this thread, We do. I am trying to find a verse to help you out, but am clueless as to which one....any help, anyone? Remember, it takes time to heal, and you have to allow for the emotions and talk to someone who has gone through that. Even us deacons have asked for professional help. I did.

Under the same wings,
"Kielbasacock"