So, this is my first ever entry and I want to tell you about a problem I think all the closeted guys face sooner or later.
When I was in the school, I've had some crushes on girls before, I'm not really sure how it worked, but everything really changed when puberty came. You know, those hormones and stuff..
The really interesting thing is that I for some reason wanted to befriend a guy in my class, whit whom I didn't even talk before! However, I've started to think of the ways we two can spend time together to make a connection and.. I succeeded in that! We became really good friends in just a one year and back then I thought it was all just about trying to be more popular, as that guy was pretty popular in school. What a naive boy)
Things started to change when I realized, I really want to spend with him as much time as I can. Next, I noticed that I got jealous, when he was hanging out with anyone besides me. Finally, when I realized I like boys, I stated to fantasize of a perfect couple life we could've had if only he confessed his love to me one day out of sudden. I said out of a sudden mainly because after all those dreams my heart always stayed broken.
You see, we were really close, and by that I mean he shared almost everything to me, including his.. girl crushes...
And while I was always there for him when he was telling me about his life problems, wishes or achievements, when he started to talk about that one new girl he had a crush on, I was literally heartbroken. And.. I never showed it!
Yep, for some stupid reason I kept acting involved in the conversation or even ENCOURAGING him to ask those girls out. I was there for him when they've rejected him (for some unknown for me reasons, I mean, I would never
) So yes, that was really tough, especially due to the fact that fella was really into falling on and off with different ladies.
In fact, we still kinda keep in touch and I think I still kind of like him, but as the time passes you really start to bury those feelings as you realize it's senseless to dream about your potential relationships when the guy's completely straight.
That's the story. Feel free to share yours!
When I was in the school, I've had some crushes on girls before, I'm not really sure how it worked, but everything really changed when puberty came. You know, those hormones and stuff..
The really interesting thing is that I for some reason wanted to befriend a guy in my class, whit whom I didn't even talk before! However, I've started to think of the ways we two can spend time together to make a connection and.. I succeeded in that! We became really good friends in just a one year and back then I thought it was all just about trying to be more popular, as that guy was pretty popular in school. What a naive boy)
Things started to change when I realized, I really want to spend with him as much time as I can. Next, I noticed that I got jealous, when he was hanging out with anyone besides me. Finally, when I realized I like boys, I stated to fantasize of a perfect couple life we could've had if only he confessed his love to me one day out of sudden. I said out of a sudden mainly because after all those dreams my heart always stayed broken.
You see, we were really close, and by that I mean he shared almost everything to me, including his.. girl crushes...
And while I was always there for him when he was telling me about his life problems, wishes or achievements, when he started to talk about that one new girl he had a crush on, I was literally heartbroken. And.. I never showed it!
Yep, for some stupid reason I kept acting involved in the conversation or even ENCOURAGING him to ask those girls out. I was there for him when they've rejected him (for some unknown for me reasons, I mean, I would never
) So yes, that was really tough, especially due to the fact that fella was really into falling on and off with different ladies.In fact, we still kinda keep in touch and I think I still kind of like him, but as the time passes you really start to bury those feelings as you realize it's senseless to dream about your potential relationships when the guy's completely straight.
That's the story. Feel free to share yours!
