Now I've had my share of crazy fucked up shit in my life happen and I've had tons of friends go through things that I even couldn't fathom continuing life over, but this situation certainly takes the cake. My friend Brad just broke up with his girlfriend in what I feel is though the most epic way to go down in flames. With his permission, I will now share with you, the LPSG community that I so love and adore, his crash and burn story in hopes to give those of you out there a little bit of hope that your tales of love gone down the shitter could not be anywhere near as much of a epic fail as the one I now share. This story is true in it's entirety.
For starters, please click the following link and listen in the background while you read, I'll explain the significance of the song later.
Crimson and Clover - Tommy James & The Shondells - YouTube
Brad has always been the type of guy that gets any chick he would so desire, call him your regular "Don Juan". He started dating Amy in high school, and essentially has been with her every step of the way. A brief description of Amy, 5 '10, blue eyes, curly locks of golden blonde hair, and a body that would suffice placement on any cheerleading squad. Given her classic "plastic" description, she was very much a hippie who cared about World Peace, Recycling, Saving the World, Voting for the Green Party, and using a Composter for all trash deemed un-recyclable.
I had the privaledge of being friends with Brad all through high school, college, and even still today. A friendship lasting 15 years, which I have seen him support Amy through her recovery from drug addiction, an eating disorder, and trauma. During the times which Amy felt the need to fulfill her bi-sexual side, Brad supported her and encouraged her to pursue that side of her sexual craving. I must admit I give him credit for that.
Two years ago, Brad proposed to Amy, and they would become engaged. Although it appeared odd to me that Amy would do certain things on purpose to upset Brad, i.e. talk about using again, refuse to eat meals, etc. Most of the time I saw it as a cry for help or attention. Nonetheless, Brad took the bait and in my mind assumed the role of the enabler of the situation.
Amy's family loved Brad, so much that they took him in as their own son. Brad never had a relationship with his family as his father left when he was 2 and his mother was a physically and emotionally abusive bitch. 9 times out of 10 he would spend the night at Amy's simply because of the hell he dreaded going home to. Her family trusted Brad that he would obey the rules of the house and not fornicate with their daughter under their roof, at least while they were inside.
I could tell that Brad loved Amy with his whole heart, and in some respects I was envious of him. For I am sort of searching for that special someone in my life. They were without a doubt your cliche happy high school/college couple that made you want to barf.
They ended up getting an apartment together to test the idea of what cohabiliating would be like. In my opinion this should have happened prior to the proposal, but who am I to judge? Of course there were rocky times, and Brad was forced to do certain things his parents were accustomed to, such as cutting nutrition facts off boxes, hiding the scale, and making sure all the over the counter drugs were locked up for fear that Amy would crush then and snort as if it was the cocaine that she once loved.
Fast forward to this week. Brad was coming home from work early at the car dealership. Upon walking into his apartment, he heard Amy moaning to the sound of Crimson and Clover by Tommy James and The Shondells. Initially he thought he was merely her being her usual hippie self masturbating and using the load music to cover it up. So he went to the kitchen to grab a can of whipped cream. Only to walk in the bedroom to find her having sex with a 500 lb FAT MAN! Apparently he screamed so loud that the next door neighbors called the leasing office and the police to complain that there was a case of domestic violence going on.
The police arrived to fill out a report and had to document everything that went on. A record of this incident is now on file at the Baltimore County Police Precinct. Needless to say their relationship is over.
According to Amy's parents, she confessed that she was on a dating website looking for an intimate encounter with an extremely obesse man because due to her eating disorder she felt as though if she would be intimate with a rather large man it would make her feel even thinner that she is now. The idea of a man who is able to maintain as much weight as he did and still perform sexually was arousing to her. I suppose the term for that is "chubby chaser"? In any event, Brad is simply devastated and now is on Celexa because he feels like the world is crumbling down on him.
So, to those of you out there struggling to find someone like me, it could always end up like THIS!
Cheers
For starters, please click the following link and listen in the background while you read, I'll explain the significance of the song later.
Crimson and Clover - Tommy James & The Shondells - YouTube
Brad has always been the type of guy that gets any chick he would so desire, call him your regular "Don Juan". He started dating Amy in high school, and essentially has been with her every step of the way. A brief description of Amy, 5 '10, blue eyes, curly locks of golden blonde hair, and a body that would suffice placement on any cheerleading squad. Given her classic "plastic" description, she was very much a hippie who cared about World Peace, Recycling, Saving the World, Voting for the Green Party, and using a Composter for all trash deemed un-recyclable.
I had the privaledge of being friends with Brad all through high school, college, and even still today. A friendship lasting 15 years, which I have seen him support Amy through her recovery from drug addiction, an eating disorder, and trauma. During the times which Amy felt the need to fulfill her bi-sexual side, Brad supported her and encouraged her to pursue that side of her sexual craving. I must admit I give him credit for that.
Two years ago, Brad proposed to Amy, and they would become engaged. Although it appeared odd to me that Amy would do certain things on purpose to upset Brad, i.e. talk about using again, refuse to eat meals, etc. Most of the time I saw it as a cry for help or attention. Nonetheless, Brad took the bait and in my mind assumed the role of the enabler of the situation.
Amy's family loved Brad, so much that they took him in as their own son. Brad never had a relationship with his family as his father left when he was 2 and his mother was a physically and emotionally abusive bitch. 9 times out of 10 he would spend the night at Amy's simply because of the hell he dreaded going home to. Her family trusted Brad that he would obey the rules of the house and not fornicate with their daughter under their roof, at least while they were inside.
I could tell that Brad loved Amy with his whole heart, and in some respects I was envious of him. For I am sort of searching for that special someone in my life. They were without a doubt your cliche happy high school/college couple that made you want to barf.
They ended up getting an apartment together to test the idea of what cohabiliating would be like. In my opinion this should have happened prior to the proposal, but who am I to judge? Of course there were rocky times, and Brad was forced to do certain things his parents were accustomed to, such as cutting nutrition facts off boxes, hiding the scale, and making sure all the over the counter drugs were locked up for fear that Amy would crush then and snort as if it was the cocaine that she once loved.
Fast forward to this week. Brad was coming home from work early at the car dealership. Upon walking into his apartment, he heard Amy moaning to the sound of Crimson and Clover by Tommy James and The Shondells. Initially he thought he was merely her being her usual hippie self masturbating and using the load music to cover it up. So he went to the kitchen to grab a can of whipped cream. Only to walk in the bedroom to find her having sex with a 500 lb FAT MAN! Apparently he screamed so loud that the next door neighbors called the leasing office and the police to complain that there was a case of domestic violence going on.
The police arrived to fill out a report and had to document everything that went on. A record of this incident is now on file at the Baltimore County Police Precinct. Needless to say their relationship is over.
According to Amy's parents, she confessed that she was on a dating website looking for an intimate encounter with an extremely obesse man because due to her eating disorder she felt as though if she would be intimate with a rather large man it would make her feel even thinner that she is now. The idea of a man who is able to maintain as much weight as he did and still perform sexually was arousing to her. I suppose the term for that is "chubby chaser"? In any event, Brad is simply devastated and now is on Celexa because he feels like the world is crumbling down on him.
So, to those of you out there struggling to find someone like me, it could always end up like THIS!
Cheers
