Adding A Woman?

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4382211

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After lots of communication and alone and together time to think, my wife and I are interested in allowing another woman into our lives after 18 years of marrriage. This was actually her idea not mine!

I said yes for all the typical reasons but it goes beyond that for both of us. It’s hard enough for me to understand my own thoughts let alone hers. Again we talk daily about this and what we want moving forward. We have boundaries set, even have a new friend who we are starting to hang out with.

This is our first rodeo in our lives separate or together. We both married in our very late 20’s so we have plenty of experience prior to each other. The kink is a new welcomed twist.

May I ask all you wonderful women of LPSG for advice? For me, her, us etc...
 

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I’d suggest a slow approach. If you two rush into things based on excitement, there’s a chance you both get caught up in the rush and don’t give rational concerns a chance to appear. If it’s right for your relationship, it’ll still be right in a couple weeks or months.

Make sure you address that if either one of you feel at all in uncomfortable that you BOTH pull the ripcord. You must be united on this or it’s going to be an epic failure... not just for your fantasy world, but the potential to be the end of your relationship.

As background, my “wasband” wanted to swing and created a profile on an adult site without my knowledge. I was not interested, especially in full swap and was really not happy about him starting down this path without mutual agreement, but was willing to explore. We talked through some concerns & established boundaries that I was comfortable with (same room, no swap, some incidental touching but no kissing or direct touching... and a mutual agreement to re-evaluate boundaries afterward). I was 1000% clear that if either one was uncomfortable, we were done... even if it was right in the middle of sex... we had to be united and neither could be mad later. He agreed. I thought all was good. We eventually met with another couple and ended up skinny dipping and each getting busy with our own partners. I was comfortable with what happened... my ex lost his boner & couldn’t finish. Afterward, he accused me of giving the guy a handjob under the water and being attracted to him. Neither part was true. I told him that I wasn’t interested in pursuing things further and we agreed to delete the account. A few weeks later, he created a new account without my knowledge . When I found it on our shared laptop, I told him this was not something I was going to reconsider at this point because he was still making comments about how ripped/built the other guy was and making snide comments about how much bigger the other guy‘s Dick was. His insecurities weren’t good for me or our relationship. Later, He berated me for not being willing to swing, despite my boundaries not changing and his disregarding them. I think this was the first link that was broken in the downfall of our relationship.
 

MickeyLee

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Sexual Health Screenings for all involved folk. Start with a clean slate.

Respect for each other and for ya new partner. This is a very serious example of "porn is not real life." Established and respected boundaries at of the utmost importance.

Be up front and honest about everything. Any unspoken issues will only build and will probably come out in the worst possible way at the worst possible time.

No blaming or shaming if things don't work out. Talk it over, learn from it and continue being the great couple y'all have been for that 18 years.
 
4

4382211

Guest
I’d suggest a slow approach. If you two rush into things based on excitement, there’s a chance you both get caught up in the rush and don’t give rational concerns a chance to appear. If it’s right for your relationship, it’ll still be right in a couple weeks or months.

Make sure you address that if either one of you feel at all in uncomfortable that you BOTH pull the ripcord. You must be united on this or it’s going to be an epic failure... not just for your fantasy world, but the potential to be the end of your relationship.

As background, my “wasband” wanted to swing and created a profile on an adult site without my knowledge. I was not interested, especially in full swap and was really not happy about him starting down this path without mutual agreement, but was willing to explore. We talked through some concerns & established boundaries that I was comfortable with (same room, no swap, some incidental touching but no kissing or direct touching... and a mutual agreement to re-evaluate boundaries afterward). I was 1000% clear that if either one was uncomfortable, we were done... even if it was right in the middle of sex... we had to be united and neither could be mad later. He agreed. I thought all was good. We eventually met with another couple and ended up skinny dipping and each getting busy with our own partners. I was comfortable with what happened... my ex lost his boner & couldn’t finish. Afterward, he accused me of giving the guy a handjob under the water and being attracted to him. Neither part was true. I told him that I wasn’t interested in pursuing things further and we agreed to delete the account. A few weeks later, he created a new account without my knowledge . When I found it on our shared laptop, I told him this was not something I was going to reconsider at this point because he was still making comments about how ripped/built the other guy was and making snide comments about how much bigger the other guy‘s Dick was. His insecurities weren’t good for me or our relationship. Later, He berated me for not being willing to swing, despite my boundaries not changing and his disregarding them. I think this was the first link that was broken in the downfall of our relationship.

I am sorry that was your experience with your hubby and it didn’t go so well. We are talking a lot, lots and lots of boundaries have already been set. I honestly think my wife is more excited than I am. I’ve been with 2 women before and yes it was great but it was also complicated as hell. Our lil friend has already kinda stole our hearts as we both have a crush on her. Thank you for sharing your experiences. We know we are playing with fire potentially but... the fire feels so good and warm...
 
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You guys are great and thank you for the honesty good and bad. We are smart professional adults and will continue to protect our marriage and health. We made it this far that’s why we are asking yo u all.
 
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Update: We had a great weekend with our new friend. There is a lot of chemistry and there is tension, neveres, jitters call them what you will between the three of us. Very exciting feel to build up no need to rush it feels natural.

I’m just happy to hang out with two beautiful women and make them laugh and feel safe. Life is alright right now!