Advice, can't Cum

[Kelwald]

Hi,
Iv'e been dating this really cool guy for a couple of weeks now and its going great. Im 28, gay, in shape, 5' 4", 7" uncut. He is 23, 5' 8, about 5" uncut. Anyway, we are really into each other and instantly get hard when we kiss or embrace in bed, but when it comes to it, I just cant seem to cum! He has topped me a couple of times, feels great and I stay hard during it. I cant top him yet cz its too big, but we'l get there! So when we are wanking to finish off, he always comes but I dont. I just dont. Its like I get stage-fright or something cz Id love to blow over his face like he does on me, and its really hot when he does, i almost feel like im about to come when he does it, but then I just dont! If im on my own I can come a big load in 2 min if I want! Any advice? Ive never really been in a sexual relationship before so maybe im too used to making myself cum on my own? Iv stopped wanking too. Help!

 

[Water dragon]

It happens to me too, not sure how to work around it. If it is not my own hand then I never can reach that peak.
So far I think it is just the need to relax more and taking more time which can cause stress because you want to bring as much pleasure to your partner as much as possible, plus the feeling to ask them to slow down when they are so close feels like a wet blanket, however might be necessary or just figuring out the right combo of moves in the right order to make cuming for both to happen. Just remember he probably wants you to cum as much as you want him to cum.

Next time, I am thinking of experimenting with jerking each other off to get to the finish line as maybe penetration is not the right type of stimulus at the moment for me; for the last bit of the race anyway.
Could be I just need to get used to his body by spending more naked time with him

However all my ideas are a hypothesis at best so if anyone else can shed light that was actually able to overcome this problem I would be just as grateful like the OP.

 

[Kelwald]

Thanks man, yeah he's really cool about it so hes not pressuring me or anything. We did try jerking each other off which didnt work for either of us, and then jerking ourselves off. He can cum then, but I dont reach it. I dont feel the usual mounting feeling of orgasm building up, it weird, then I just have to stop cz I might go soft or feel a bit mad cz im wanking so long. I know that if I saw like 30 sec of porn id shoot then and maybe thats my prob, too used to that. Don't get me wrong, the guy turns me on big time and im always hard with him, its just the cumming thing. Even if he left the room for 2 min and left me at it id come. Its some sort of anxiety thing.

 

[D_22]

A few things : you might be too used to cumming on your own and your body and mind still aren't used to the guy yet. Try holding back from jerking off for about a week or two to make yourself hornier. And try not to think about it and just enjoy the moment.

 

[Kelwald]

Yeah il give that a go. Its real hard not to jack off though, get like super horny where im thinking of sex all the time! ah well, gota try

 

[ShadowKing]

I used to have the same problem. It's called retarded ejaculation it is a side effect of compulsive masturbation (jerking off too frequently). Try to go a whole week without masturbating before you have sex with your boyfriend. You'll be at your biggest, hold an erection longer and cum more easily. If you can't abstain for a week go at least 3 days without jerking off. I hope this helps.