So, I have an issue but just to give you some background info..
Im a closeted guy in my 20s, have no gay friends (as far as i know at least).
I recently met and became close friends with an amazing couple (straight). But I have started developing feelings for the guy. It sucks because both him and his gf have become really close friends. Neither of them know im gay obviously, and at this point im not sure what to do.
Hope someone can give me some advice.
OK. One, this is a couple. Your attraction to the man is understandable you got close in a way that you may have avoided in the past not knowing it, and it was not something you planned or even know about. That said, your feelings are secondary here, what is important as the friend of the couple is to not interfere with their love life.
Ignoring this or doing other things will not make it go away. It will also make the relationship with them weird. I suggest you speak to the wife first. It is a big step and it will feel terrifying beforehand. I fell in love with a straight floormate in uni second year and it was tears for two weeks and then telling one friend who told the floor. Our friendship dissolved but the larger group was fracturing as well, alcohol was a factor and there were other personal issues, so it wasn't entirely me being gay. He was also very ashamed because he grew up in NYC around gay men and put it on for me because he was comfy with me, and realized he sent me signals that were not accurate (declarations of love, hand holding out of the blue only the once, but I come from a place where intimacy is rare and male intimacy non extant). I was crushed but the apocalypse that I predicted did not happen.
Meet with her and tell her you want her advice. Say you have developed a crush on a man you know and it threw you for a loop what does she think?
1) If she says "my husband" well, the door is already open a bit. If she is excited that may mean a number of things. If she is mad, then the friendship is having a rough patch at least.
2) If she goes full homophobia or even part, that is your cue that these are not friends you want.
3) If she listens and offers advice and it seems cool you may tell or may not. Coming out happens over years. The sooner you do it, the better for you.This issue will not stop surfacing and it cannot be ignored without consequence.
You will not lose many friends over this, and you will gain some too. Family is handling it as they will, again it isn't their business to critique or complain but you owe them nothing in terms of your person if there is bigoted remarks. Being gay is a gift, and it has been a long trip to get me here. To be able to openly live as the man I am, nude (nudist) in any company and to be able to be happy and proud of the man I am and who I love and the sex I have is priceless. I nearly died of the depression that the closet left me. It's cumulative. Also, some of them do know. Just saying.
You can PM me if you have questions or concerns.