I am a closeted gay guy and during my day to day life I'm a relatively quiet and guarded person. Since the start of this year I've developed this confidence out of nowhere and started approaching random guys on the street. I'll grab their attention and compliment them on their looks or style. Some guys have given me dirty looks and ignored me but most of time guys are flattered. When the response is positive, I get a warm feeling and I even managed to get a guy's number and we spoke more via text. On one occasion I told a man that he looked fantastic in his suit and he looked absolutely chuffed. Does anyone else do this? If so, share your experiences.
Anyone else approach random guys?
- Thread starter Hunty96
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jesseboitel
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I often see straight men approach women like this and I thought I'd do the same. I genuinely don't mean any harm and only want to compliment someone but I'll stop.
jesseboitel
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Whether or not you have good intentions is one thing.. You have to keep in mind that everyone is not approachable and some people are genuinely offended by being approached by a stranger... even when being complimented.. some people are genuinely mistrusting of strangers feeling that they have an ulterior motive for approaching them... You have to be extremely careful approaching people (strangers), especially nowadays. You also have to take him to consideration someone's previous experience with a stranger complimenting them.. perhaps it led to a stalking incident.. and now they have their guard up..Be Careful is all I'm saying..
The naysayer in this thread has advised caution, but I approve of your actions Hunty96. You aren't propositioning people for sex - just complimenting them. Making others feel confident and happy about their self images is a great thing. Those men put off by compliments alone are exhibiting a homophobic streak in my experience. Re: your OP - When I have been complimented on my looks and attire I felt well chuffed afterwards. BTW are you British?
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It is not necessary for sex or the potential of hooking up. I've been in a group at a restaurant and the waitress was an older woman, (mid-late 50's) and she was absolutely stunning. I felt compelled to tell her after she took our order "excuse me, but I just wanted to let you know that you are absolutely beautiful" you could tell she was taken back and beyond flattered. That was it. now keep in mind, I'm gay (and you would not be able to tell) and was there with several people one being my partner and that was it. nothing else was said or elaborated on.
NOW>>>>> if your cruising the streets and looking to catch a fish with random compliments, thats a different story.
But in today's society, we are so up tight and no one can talk to anyone anymore without people loosing their shit. Everyone needs to calm the F#@% down.
My two Pennies.
NOW>>>>> if your cruising the streets and looking to catch a fish with random compliments, thats a different story.
But in today's society, we are so up tight and no one can talk to anyone anymore without people loosing their shit. Everyone needs to calm the F#@% down.
My two Pennies.
chrisrobin
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Sometimes you compliment a person on their looks, the way they helped you across the road, in the supermarket etc and it's not always about seeking sex. Saying hi to stranger in a store isn't a proposition, and if he says hi back it's a bonus. However its not good to hit on a guy out of nowhere
playklax01
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Totally agree!!! What's happened that we can't be simply friendly someone in public any longer? Happens in Boston too, I'm sure it's everywhere. Here as soon as some is legit friendly, the guard goes up, a scam is suspected, people shut down. It's fine to be cautious, but c'mon...
Re: the OP, I like his approach. What's the worst that's likely going to happen? Someone finds it odd and carries on, no big deal or loss. I don't think he'll be attacked or something, that would be crazy. He seems to have luck with people, getting their number and such, I think that's awesome!
It's bold and confident, so power to the OP! I wish someone would come up to me and say I have a nice shirt or whatever, it would make my day. And if I thought the person was cute, it could make my night lol.
playklax01
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Where did 'hitting on a guy' come up? This isn't directly about that. It's a compliment, like an ice breaker. While the OP is likely looking for a guy, he isn't saying 'wow, you look hot in that tight shirt'. That would be too much.
chrisrobin
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Some guys would take it as a hit if another guy said they looked good - some guys are over-sensitive!
playklax01
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Well, still, if they took it as a hit but aren't interested they can move on like nothing happened. Even if they called you an f-word or something, you'll never see that person again. If they took the hit and are interested, great!
I am British.The naysayer in this thread has advised caution, but I approve of your actions Hunty96. You aren't propositioning people for sex - just complimenting them. Making others feel confident and happy about their self images is a great thing. Those men put off by compliments alone are exhibiting a homophobic streak in my experience. Re: your OP - When I have been complimented on my looks and attire I felt well chuffed afterwards. BTW are you British?
I appreciate all the responses. I wanted to know what other people thought.
jesseboitel
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I do. I'm Black and gay an feminine.
I get rejected all the time. Track record almost a hundred to nil. So I stopped asking random guys out.
I know one of the last times I asked a guy out (This was back in 2020 during the pandemic and stuff) I was literally crying after the fact.
There was this cute Mark Ruffalo guy I met when I was coming home from work one Saturday evening. He was at the Vermont/Sunset subway station here in Los Angeles.
He was so cute. He was looking at me/giving me eye contact. So I went up and chatted with him. We exchanged numbers. He never called me, and he ended up giving me a fake number. So yeah.
Other times guys flat out say no.
I stopped asking guys out in public, as guys don't even give me eye contact. They are more than likely straight anyways
I get rejected all the time. Track record almost a hundred to nil. So I stopped asking random guys out.
I know one of the last times I asked a guy out (This was back in 2020 during the pandemic and stuff) I was literally crying after the fact.
There was this cute Mark Ruffalo guy I met when I was coming home from work one Saturday evening. He was at the Vermont/Sunset subway station here in Los Angeles.
He was so cute. He was looking at me/giving me eye contact. So I went up and chatted with him. We exchanged numbers. He never called me, and he ended up giving me a fake number. So yeah.
Other times guys flat out say no.
I stopped asking guys out in public, as guys don't even give me eye contact. They are more than likely straight anyways
jesseboitel
Loved Member
If I'm attracted to him, I hope that we could hang out, go on a date. Songs start with a note. Thoughts start with an idea etc. So you just don't magically become Boyfriends. You have to make the effort to talk to him. Then the magic could form after that etc.
I just hope that this guy I see minding my own business, he could be my boyfriend/partner/spouse hopefully God willing. I don't know.
But the guys are straight anyways usually. So it doesn't matter.
I'm Autistic and impatient and Black and gay.
If I'm interested in a guy, I'm gonna shoot my shot. I always miss. But that's okay. I just make sure the guy is giving me eye contact, and if I have the courage, I will ask him out. But yeah.
I'm also 33 so yeah. I'm tired of fucking waiting, and I want a boyfriend now.
jesseboitel
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If I'm attracted to him, I hope that we could hang out, go on a date. Songs start with a note. Thoughts start with an idea etc. So you just don't magically become Boyfriends. You have to make the effort to talk to him. Then the magic could form after that etc.
I just hope that this guy I see minding my own business, he could be my boyfriend/partner/spouse hopefully God willing. I don't know.
But the guys are straight anyways usually. So it doesn't matter.
I'm Autistic and impatient and Black and gay.
If I'm interested in a guy, I'm gonna shoot my shot. I always miss. But that's okay. I just make sure the guy is giving me eye contact, and if I have the courage, I will ask him out. But yeah.
I'm also 33 so yeah. I'm tired of fucking waiting, and I want a boyfriend now.
Nice.. I'm looking for a sidepiece..must have good oral skills..and enjoy having his asshole usedIf I'm attracted to him, I hope that we could hang out, go on a date. Songs start with a note. Thoughts start with an idea etc. So you just don't magically become Boyfriends. You have to make the effort to talk to him. Then the magic could form after that etc.
I just hope that this guy I see minding my own business, he could be my boyfriend/partner/spouse hopefully God willing. I don't know.
But the guys are straight anyways usually. So it doesn't matter.
I'm Autistic and impatient and Black and gay.
If I'm interested in a guy, I'm gonna shoot my shot. I always miss. But that's okay. I just make sure the guy is giving me eye contact, and if I have the courage, I will ask him out. But yeah.
I'm also 33 so yeah. I'm tired of fucking waiting, and I want a boyfriend now.
I was going through a phase when I started this thread.
I saw a really gorgeous guy with blonde curtains on the tube this afternoon. I loved his outfit too - an oversized t-shirt and black shorts that accentuated his muscular thighs (my weakness). A year ago, I would've gone up to him and complimented him but I know better not to disturb a stranger.
I saw a really gorgeous guy with blonde curtains on the tube this afternoon. I loved his outfit too - an oversized t-shirt and black shorts that accentuated his muscular thighs (my weakness). A year ago, I would've gone up to him and complimented him but I know better not to disturb a stranger.
I'm for sayin' hi to anyone, any sex, any age, any time. Beyond that, it's situational. If you're not being weird and they're not psychopaths, stick around for more. As a shy-bi I wish that I'd been chatted up even before I knew the score--it would have opened my eyes much earlier, and I would have worked my zipper in the right situation.
I think it depends on the environment and who you are randomly approaching. But confidence is a huge plus from my experience. (Also peeked at the photos and yeah I think even some straight guys would be flattered from the effort) but it's a crazy complicated world out there so just do it responsibly and don't be "that guy"
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