At my breaking point

D_Dick_Everhard

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I am a mid 20's male who has left his comfort zone to date a guy.

My boyfriend and I met 371 days ago face to face. There was instant chemistry - he is a natural introvert with ability to be an extrovert in the limelight when needed, and so am I.

We used to have sex every time he came to my house since we had complete privacy there and nowhere else. After a catastrophe in his family I asked him to move in with me; part because I am his best option, part because long distance relationships do not work with me.

He knows I am not content with masturbating or oral, those are side dishes to me. I have to sink in and make waves for a least 20 minutes to get any real satisfaction. He has made promises to me that we will have sex and every time I try to cash in all I hear is "Okay, in a few minutes"... so I stop everything and smoke for a while and just chill. I have never forced myself on him against his will and I believe I am the first of his boyfriends that can say that. I even bought him an electric trimmer the other day so he can feel good and confident about his body.

The last time we had sex it was still hot outside... and not for lack of trying on my part. I love him and he is very special to me but I know I am sacrificing my sexual prime and I have been seriously considering ending our commitment.

I swear to my dying breath I will not cheat on him and it is causing serious depression. What do I do.
 

BikerBear

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Hi,

Have you tried sitting down and having a discussion? And not one that turns into an argument; that's non-productive.

I can tell you, first hand, that my husband and I have not made love in nearly 8 years! However, our relationship is rock solid and we are truly each other's soul mate. Personally, I cannot imagine life without him. Sex is secondary to the true emotional ties in any relationship.

Yes, I have become "my own best friend", if you catch my drift. When I have time to myself, I take advantage of it. I get my satisfaction from my collection of toys; and oh my.... some of the toys I have are incredible!

I know you're in your early 20's; but don't give up! If he is truly meant to be, you can both discuss the situation like adults. Perhaps there is something going on in his mind that is preventing the sex drive from materialising. Just remember.... it's not all about you in a two-way relationship!
 

Laserbeak

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Looks like you need to fuck more than to love or be loved.

That's not fair. Men have needs and we like them fulfilled with our partners. Of course our partners may not feel like it from time to time, but if it is for a long period of time, then that definitely becomes a problem.

I am the last person to give anyone relationship advice, but I'd start looking for someone else at least for sex, if not to replace your bf. If you need to break up with him formally first, then so be it.
 
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oceanmand

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If sex is important to you, then it's an important part of a relationship. You must decide soon if you are willing to stay in and commit to a platonic relationship.
If you decide to stay, I would suggest sitting down in a comfortable and safe setting and trying to find out what truely is the problem (difference).

Sex and relationships are difficult, right now I have an awesome girl who I'm attracted to but don't have enough sexual drive for (compared to her), yet I seem to have a great drive when it comes to the randoms every other weekend and the sweet virgin I converted into a nympho....
2 years ago, the innocent version of me would have thought I was crazy! But people are different, people change.

The most important thing is finding someone who works well for you on the levels you value most.
 

horseymann

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This seems to be an occuring problem in almost every relationship. The minute somebody moves in. The sex and freindship always peak when your away from one another.and why is that? We all have personalities at play here. Seeing your partner in a bad mood, disagreeing on money matters ,bills etc... And then with holding sex or fun time because of stress thats being built. I'm not saying this happened in every relationship but in alot of them.
 

Bashful_man

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It sounds like he may have changed due to the catastrophe of his family matter. You have to sit down and talk to him and let him know how you feel. If he wants a relationship he must meet you half-way.

It is true you cant continue the way things are. Try to get him to tell you what has changed, if you are interested in keeping the relationship you and he have. Otherwise I would have to say its time you move on with your life and maybe a separation is what is needed to let him decide what he wants in his life.

Good Luck