Being unhappy with overall appearence -help?

Discussion in 'Underwear, Clothing, and Appearance Issues' started by metrico, Sep 7, 2011.

  1. metrico

    metrico New Member

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    I was really skinny when I was young, and I got pretty traumatized when around age eight, I gained a lot, a lot of weight, I had to get braces, glasses, my hair darkened from dark-blonde to dark brown. I went from this friggin aryan posterchild to this...thing I didn't recognize. At my heaviest maybe 210 and 6 ft by the time I was in 6fh grade, 38 almost 40 waist.

    I stayed heavy until 2006 when I dropped down to size 36 waist. Since then I've been bouncing around the 190-200 range at 6'2 with I think signs to reduced fat %. Have gotten down to a 35ish, most 36 pants fit, some much to big, while some cuts of 34 are perfect too.

    Generally, to make a long story short visit my profile here, you get a condensed story basically through pictures:


    http://bodyspace.bodybuilding.com/maxometer/more.php?section=progresspics

    Not stellar, I could have been better by now. Though in 2009 I couldn't do real pushups and now can do bout 20 reps. My legs are my strongest and I can squat a pretty good number.

    I'm aiming in the next 6 weeks to really work hard at the gym after somewhat of a hiatus.

    I have a very wishy washy sense of self, strange mix of actually pretty high self esteem, and then very very low self esteem. People say I'm quite handsome, that I have a fantastic frame and look okay already, I'm not fat anymore at all, just need to build lots of muscle. While I can sort of see it, but my imperfections like untrained areas and left-over pudge around my stomach tend to really stand out to me, and they dampen my living experience. They render me ugly (to me), or at least I think it looks bad. I still categorize as fat. I do have great legs, but my upper body needs some help and that's what I'm hoping to fix in the next six weeks. People say there's a ton of potential but I'm very unsure.

    I get rather depressed about how I look sometimes and because I'm uncomfortable, I don't really date much, I've been out on a few dates with girls I like, but I've never had a intimate relationship.

    My dick has sort of played into it too, I'm not sure I should post a picture.
    Should I?

    It's incredibly average to me, and I think maybe 6.5 when hard tops. I haven't measured in a long time, I almost don't want to know because I know I'll be disappointed I think if I do. A bit on the thick side, but still shorter than I'd like. But it pains me to see it from the side and when I'm standing up pretty much, for a tall guy, it looks bad to me, average, small, boring. I feel like most guys are 7.5-8. And the fact that I'm not bigger sorta, harps on me. I don't want to disappoint, and I'm a very talented guy in real life with stuff that I do, so it pains me that I feel this part is so underwhelming and average, when I am in fact, or shouldn't be, an average person. I feel enlargement is fruitless and stupid though so haven't attempted any of that.

    So besides busting my ass off in the gym the next few weeks and beyond (which by the way I do have a pretty nice ass, that is one of the strong points) I just can't seem to reconcile my distaste for what I perceive to be things that render me not good enough for people, when obviously I am as people compliment me on stuff, so it's sort of like I'm chasing my own tail. I mean, even I realize that thinking because I don't look like an abercrombie twinktastic uber-jock frat guy with a 8 inch dick that I'm rubbish is an unreasonable thing to think...and yet, I dismiss myself for not being as such.

    Any ideas on what I should do? Be doing?
     
  2. D_etrgbtre4

    D_etrgbtre4 New Member

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    could be worse you could be skinny as fuck like me
     
  3. B_debonair87

    B_debonair87 New Member

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    well first you gotta work on those self-esteem issues. improving your physical appearance is only half the battle. you can have the body of an adonis and still feel absolutely miserable with your physical appearance. and not every white person was meant to look like an a&f model/boy next door.



    god damn you have a donkey dick.
     
  4. metrico

    metrico New Member

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    My young brother could model. That's probably half of where it comes from, I'm somewhat jealous, he's in a position where he could with some work himself since he's skinny, could model. I don't think I could. I could have been child model, but not anymore.
     
  5. gavlenils

    gavlenils Member

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    Skinny or not doesn't matter with a HUGE cock like yours. You are a real Alpha male.
     
  6. D_etrgbtre4

    D_etrgbtre4 New Member

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    thanks guys but i dont wanna steal the show in this thread :p
     
  7. metrico

    metrico New Member

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    I'd trade builds and dicks anyday. It means I'd get to eat a lot to bulk up so...
     
  8. D_etrgbtre4

    D_etrgbtre4 New Member

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    thanks alot
     
  9. B_debonair87

    B_debonair87 New Member

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    Trust me I know how it feels. I was a big dude most of my life. Not sloppy looking but stocky. I played sports my entire life. Growing up I was constantly reminded that I was fat I was and my sister being tall and skinny was always told she could be a model so I felt like the ugly sibling. It wasn't until my senior year of high school after football season that I lost mad weight and my facial features started to show more and people started to look at me differently. Then in college I started hitting the gym full time and got more ripped up etc. But I not only had to change my body but my mentality as well.

    Accept that not everyone is going to find you attractive and don't base your happiness off of what others think of you.
     
  10. monel

    Gold Member

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    metrico, you are way too hard on yourself. You're a good looking guy and not in bad shape at all. In fact based on your progress pics you are heading in the right direction. Continue with the weight training. A good chest, shoulder and back program will better define your upper body, "pull up" everything and make your waist look thinner. Don't skimp on the cardio and watch what you eat - like you didn't already know this. Finally, stop slouching. If your posture is anything in real life as it appears in your pics, you need to improve it. Good posture is half the battle. It presents all of your parts in their proper place and helps you to project an air of confidence which goes a long way to a better appearance. If you are one who is inclined to slouch you will need to consciously correct yourself when you feel yourself doing so.

    Congratulation on your efforts to improve though you really are being overly critical of yourself.
     
  11. open501s

    open501s Member

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    There is nothing wrong with the way you look. Looks like you got some good habits on the physical side.

    Look at yourself in the mirror and remind your self how hot you are. Ask your self where these feelings are coming from and squash them.
     
  12. metrico

    metrico New Member

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    I try that all the time, but I have a hard time of it. I constantly feel like I'd feel so much better if I was a certain way, and I'd be a lot of more not cocky, but proud if I had a dick that was 7.5-8. It would certainly help me feel better about dating. Not to say I think bigger makes it better, I think I'd actually be pretty good at sex since I'm very interested in fine detail of things, fingering, fingerbanging, oral. But aesthetically, visually, physically, I feel I'm not worth it yet.

    I just don't want to disappoint. That's my biggest fear, I don't want to disappoint.

    I'm an artist and an entertainer, I feed off of people's responses to my work, talents and well, myself...all I want is to deliver and I constantly feel that all my talents and hobbies (which are many) aren't enough, negated because of my body.

    I've been to the gym twice this week so far, hoping I can stick to a new routine.
     
  13. cdog204

    Gold Member

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    M- you're in decent shape and pretty good looking. I honestly think that you would look better if you worked on dropping a little more weight as opposed to muscling up. Thin to win!
     
  14. Curvey_Amazon_OH

    Curvey_Amazon_OH New Member

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    People with self esteme/ body issues are usually looming for others to accept and validate them. The thing is " Acceptance comes from within".........meaning you have to learn to love and accept yourself before anyone else is going to. Looking at your pics I do not see anything wrong with the way you look or looked at any point. Puberty can be very mean to boys as well as girls. If you want to look a certain way I.e. like a ripped stud, then you are the only one that is going to make that happen with a lot of self control and disipline.
    I understand the sibling issue first hand though........my sister was always the cute bubbly one that when she hit puberty she thinned out, I got tits hips and felt fat. When in reality I wasn't.
    Society as a whole can be blamed for most everyones body issues sadly.......
     
  15. monstro

    monstro New Member

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    This isn't a diagnosis, because I'm not a doctor, just your every day garden variety internet weirdo, but it sounds as though you may be living with body dysmorphic disorder.

    Body dysmorphic disorder - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

    Talk to a Doctor.

    And be kind to yourself.

    There's nothing wrong with you.
     
  16. metrico

    metrico New Member

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    Thank you

    I've thought that as well. I've talked to my parents and they nor my therapist I was talking too thought I had it because I don't have the OCC associated with it, like body dysmorphic people will obsess over their nose and whatnot, though I think I'm pretty close. The fact that I know I know better than to feel this way is because I can see good in me, I just don't like being average. I come from an attractive family, and am an artist so I tend to have pretty high standards.
     
  17. metrico

    metrico New Member

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    Thanks for the insight. All throughout most of highschool I thought I looked so bad I cut myself off from dating and that's extended really through college.
     
  18. DQSundae

    Verified Gold Member

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    You can buy your hair if it won't grow
    You can fix your nose if he says so
    You can buy all the make-up
    That MAC can make
    But if you can't look inside you
    Find out who am I to
    Be in a position to make me feel
    So damn unpretty
    I'll make you feel unpretty too
     
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