As a gay person, I always had the feeling that the pursuit after the perfect body and the worshiping of a certain type of body is much more felt in the gay community.
Four years ago, when I worked in Barcelona, the company I worked for arranged an hotel for my stay. I arrived to the hotel with my luggage and at the entrance there was a big picture hanging of a very attractive guy with abs and very low body fat, wearing a tiny speedo and holing a bottle of vodka with the gay flag on it. Yes, it was a gay hotel apparently, and no, my company didn’t do it on purpose.
It is happy and sad that we, as gays, have the place where we can feel free to be who we are without worrying if someone will look at us in bad eyes. In a better world, I wish we didn’t have to have a special hotel just for us to feel that way. We should feel free to kiss and hold hands and show love everywhere.
But that’s not the topic. The topic is the big picture that was hanging in the entrance of the hotel and in other parts of the lobby. Pictures of guys wearing almost nothing and looking pretty much the same looking like a statue from Greece in the 18th century.
The use of a certain type of body is of course also used in the straight world. If I’ll go to a “regular” hotel I will probably see pictures of skinny girls in a bikini sitting next to the pool or sitting at the beach, holding a mojito and wearing a big straw hat. We should criticize that of course but the main difference is that in the “regular” hotel they are trying to sell you the perfect vacation, and in the gay hotel, they are trying to sell the male body like I just arrived to a dungeon.
I used to be a fat kid. Until the age of 20 I weighed 120kg (around 265 pounds) and then I decided to lose weight. I’m 28 now and I have lost 40 kg (80 pounds). Ever since then the only thing I thought about was how my body looks like, what I eat, how much I run or lift and how I will never have the perfect body. There were times when I used to eat only breakfast and everything I ate after made me feel so bad about myself. Sometimes I feel like I don’t know how to live without hating my body, without hiding it, without putting the perfect body as my main goal. Until now I turn around from the mirror when I get undressed before the shower. Let’s not talk about the beach or the pool that I didn’t visit for years.
“The trouble is it makes me think that sex is for sexy people. And the rest of us can just… give up” – Cucumber. In that episode, they were talking about porn but what is the difference? We see it everywhere; on Grinder that looks like a catalog of Calvin Klein, in parties where everyone dances shirtless and on social media. I’m sure many of you have watched RuPaul’s Drag Race and know the pitcrew and I’m sure I don’t need to add very much to make you think how problematic it is.
When I hear gay men, before the gay parade, saying “I didn’t eat for so long because I need to look at my best on the parade” I know there is a problem.
Please don’t talk with me about health. The fact that someone is bigger doesn’t mean he’s not healthy and if you are not my doctor then you probably don’t know how healthy or unhealthy I am.
I know you might think I’m just a bitter person who can’t handle his problems, which might be true. But don’t get me wrong, I do think abs are great and I don’t think there is something wrong with wanting them. All I say is I want to see variety. different types of bodies shown and accepted as beautiful as others.
There is so much more to say about it but I’m sure that by now you understand my point.
I’ll finish with a quote from Beyonce that we should ask ourselves everyday:
“are you happy with yourself?”
Four years ago, when I worked in Barcelona, the company I worked for arranged an hotel for my stay. I arrived to the hotel with my luggage and at the entrance there was a big picture hanging of a very attractive guy with abs and very low body fat, wearing a tiny speedo and holing a bottle of vodka with the gay flag on it. Yes, it was a gay hotel apparently, and no, my company didn’t do it on purpose.
It is happy and sad that we, as gays, have the place where we can feel free to be who we are without worrying if someone will look at us in bad eyes. In a better world, I wish we didn’t have to have a special hotel just for us to feel that way. We should feel free to kiss and hold hands and show love everywhere.
But that’s not the topic. The topic is the big picture that was hanging in the entrance of the hotel and in other parts of the lobby. Pictures of guys wearing almost nothing and looking pretty much the same looking like a statue from Greece in the 18th century.
The use of a certain type of body is of course also used in the straight world. If I’ll go to a “regular” hotel I will probably see pictures of skinny girls in a bikini sitting next to the pool or sitting at the beach, holding a mojito and wearing a big straw hat. We should criticize that of course but the main difference is that in the “regular” hotel they are trying to sell you the perfect vacation, and in the gay hotel, they are trying to sell the male body like I just arrived to a dungeon.
I used to be a fat kid. Until the age of 20 I weighed 120kg (around 265 pounds) and then I decided to lose weight. I’m 28 now and I have lost 40 kg (80 pounds). Ever since then the only thing I thought about was how my body looks like, what I eat, how much I run or lift and how I will never have the perfect body. There were times when I used to eat only breakfast and everything I ate after made me feel so bad about myself. Sometimes I feel like I don’t know how to live without hating my body, without hiding it, without putting the perfect body as my main goal. Until now I turn around from the mirror when I get undressed before the shower. Let’s not talk about the beach or the pool that I didn’t visit for years.
“The trouble is it makes me think that sex is for sexy people. And the rest of us can just… give up” – Cucumber. In that episode, they were talking about porn but what is the difference? We see it everywhere; on Grinder that looks like a catalog of Calvin Klein, in parties where everyone dances shirtless and on social media. I’m sure many of you have watched RuPaul’s Drag Race and know the pitcrew and I’m sure I don’t need to add very much to make you think how problematic it is.
When I hear gay men, before the gay parade, saying “I didn’t eat for so long because I need to look at my best on the parade” I know there is a problem.
Please don’t talk with me about health. The fact that someone is bigger doesn’t mean he’s not healthy and if you are not my doctor then you probably don’t know how healthy or unhealthy I am.
I know you might think I’m just a bitter person who can’t handle his problems, which might be true. But don’t get me wrong, I do think abs are great and I don’t think there is something wrong with wanting them. All I say is I want to see variety. different types of bodies shown and accepted as beautiful as others.
There is so much more to say about it but I’m sure that by now you understand my point.
I’ll finish with a quote from Beyonce that we should ask ourselves everyday:
“are you happy with yourself?”
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