Do I Hook Up Without Cumming? Yes, nearly 100% of the time. The reasons for this a combo of things, but that's the short answer LOL.
It starts with the fact that my orgasms take a long time to arrive and are INTENSE, especially if I've been getting fucked. So intense that they shut me down for a while afterward and any stimulation is irritating and sometimes painful. So if I come it pretty much means game-over.
I figured this out early on, when the first guy I hooked up with (a friend from school) would sometimes stroke me off during hook up sessions. I'd always go down on him and suck out and swallow his cum and found that I REALLY loved being in control like that I getting to give him that pleasure. He didn't have any interest in sucking me but tried jerking me once or twice (when I was that age it didn't take as long LOL) and he was always shocked and impressed by how hard I would shoot; it's not uncommon for me to clear over my head if I'm turned on enough.
We got into a routine of me just sucking him off, (he'd ask if I want to come too and I'd say no it's ok I'll do it later). We eventually escalted to fucking; a couple times he jerked me off while fucking my hole to see if he could make me come at the same time as he did. It worked, and was INTENSE and pleasurable, but I went into sensory overload and couldn't let him keep going so he could bust another nut in me. So we fell into a routine where, like the blowjobs, I would get to make him cum and quickly learned how pleasurable that was for me.
Not too long as I started hooking up with him a couple more guys worked in the rotation (it was summertime, tis the season), 2 other friends from school and a guy I worked with a restaurant. It was never a group thing, all of them maybe only knew about one of the others (in the case of the coworker he spotted me sucking my friend off in the parking lot and confronted me). We quickly fell into the same routines as I had with the first guy; I sucked all of them off and swallowed their loads pretty much any time the needed it and it quickly became understood that I didn't need to want an reciprocation. The friend from work started fucking me too (one of the other friends from school tried it twice but wasn't as into it), again with the same dynamic - whenever he was in the mood for tail instead of head I'd give my hole up for him to use and I'd wait to get off later, alone.
I think having that many guys routinely calling on me to drain them had an effect on my outlook and reinforced how unnecessary it was for me to come, and how I didn't need to come in order to enjoy sex immensely.
Arriving at college it was clear the genie was not going back in the bottle LOL. I still had to be discreet and DL, it was still terrifying and potentially dangerous to be out in this area. But I was a lot more cavalier and "generous" with my mouth and ass LOL. At that point I knew what I liked, and because *my* pleasure (at least in the form of an overt orgasm) was incidental and I was so chill and relaxed and "it's just getting off, it doesn't need to be any more than that" attidude made me a hit with guys who were still figuring their shit out, or just wanted to experiment, or knew they liked messing with guys but nowadays would more readily identfy as bi.
The dynamics were always the same. If a guy needed to get his dick sucked, I'd take care of him, swallow his load, and then leave. A few guys would alwasys ask if I want to come and I'd say that's ok. If a guy needed to fuck a tight warm hole to fuck I would eagerly give mine up, and encourage him to give me that dick until he pumps me full. Then I'd use my hole to squeeze him a bit, thank him, and then get dressed and leave. I did have one regular college boyfriend (of sorts) who used to revel in making me blow a load while his dick was in me (his was the first big cock I got to take a lot, like 3-4 times a week for months), but learned early on that he needed to shoot once or twice first and keep fucking me, and try to make himself bust another load at the same time he makes me come otherwise he'd get blue balls. LOL
It was with him that I experienced my first prostate orgasm; there are threads on this but the since there still seems to be confusion over what they are, they aren't ejaculation-orgasms triggered by prostate stimulation (that is was we typically call hands-free orgasms). Instead these are orgasms that orginate with the prostate and whether or not you dick or actual cum gets involved is incidental. In some ways they're akin to a female g-spot orgasm. These things are IMO 300% more intense and pleasurable from blowing a load, and luckily for me they don't lead to the system-shutdown that a regular orgasm gives me. So a guy (usually if he has a bigger cock, is fucking me in specific positions, and is giving me a steady sustatined pounding) can give me a prosate orgasm and keep fucking me through it, though truth be told most guys start to unload in me when they feel my hole spasming like crazy and hear the intensity of my moans. And I can get fucked again immediate after having one.
After school and into the rise of apps etc., through now, I've maintained the stance with hook-ups and fuck buddies that I don't have to come, and if asked if I want to come say I don't need to. If I'm pressed on it I explain why - combination of how intense my orgasms are when I finally have one, how much pleasure I take from making him cum, and how much I love focusing on the sesations I get from getting my ass fucked good and dicked deep.
Plus I absolutely love the taste of cum (unless you have the worst diet in the universe lol) and I love even more how it feels deep inside my hole.
It's always nice when a guy offers to make me come, and even nicer when he accepts why not and is more than happy to continue and just let me get him off. Some guys are also not into reciprocation at all anyway and already understand my mouth or ass are there to make them cum. That doesn't bother me either. If it happens by accident (not common but it's happened in longer sessions, or when I'm shared) it doesn't bother me per se, it just means we have to quickly adjust to a break period. And as I've gotten older (40s) and in better shape both phyisically and yoga/meditatively I've got a lot more in tune with my body and can focus on triggering a prostate orgasm a lot more often now.
So I couldn't be happier to tell a hookup up-front 'I want to make you cum, hard and more than once if possible, but don't want to come myself, is that okay?' And I always consider myself lucky and am super grateful whenever a guy says hell yeah that's okay, or some variation.
. very hot thanks.
