Bottoms Not Wanting to Be Penetrated

[Lilyoftheghetto]

I've always been a submissive bottom. All my life. Never remotely interested in Topping so I've always been penetrated. I can't say it was ever my favorite thing to do. I always enjoyed giving blow jobs way more. I always gave into penetration because 99% of the men I've always been with have been Tops so they expected to be able to penetrate me (I never purposely seeked them out).

But, over the past few years, I have not been interested in being penetrated at all. I have always found, even more so as I get older, it's just too much trouble! The douching, the diet, making sure I'm using the correct lube and right amount of it, the ass play to loosen up, the pain of getting the penis in, worrying about the Top's penis coming out clean. About time we get to the actual fucking, I'm usually pretty exhausted. LOL! This played a part in me losing my last boyfriend. He was a total Top and I just wasn't interested in being penetrated any longer. He found someone else who was and I ended up leaving him. Well, actually, the break up was way more complicated than that but that was the final thing that made me walk away from a very toxic relationship.

Anyway, am I the only one who thinks being penetrated is way over-rated? I'm always bewildered as to why so many people here on other forums are so anxious for porn stars to bottom who identify as Tops. I don't think being penetrated is all it's cracked up to be. Any other bottoms here who don't love being penetrated or am I the only one???

 

[dfw051980]

Sounds like you are becoming more of a "Side" than bottom. Nothing wrong with that. Only got one life so explore as many different avenues as you can.

I for one want to become more verse than just a strict top. I have actually quite enjoyed playing with my hole on my own and have unlocked some pleasures that i definitely want to explore but its not for everyone.

Is bottoming overrated... i dont think so but i do think people should make the effort to explore what sexually pleases them and not be locked in to one thing.

 

[Lilyoftheghetto]

I'm definitely a Side or Sideman! Lately, I've noticed those terms popping up more often. Is it a fairly new term? All my life, I always heard about bottoms, tops, and vers, but until recently, I hadn’t come across a term for guys who don’t quite fit into those three categories. Honestly I feel like I have been a side since the very beginning but since I only had those other three terms to choose from, I chose bottom and took on that role since it was the closet one that fit.

 

[BlackBearCognac]

I'm definitely a Side or Sideman! Lately, I've noticed those terms popping up more often. Is it a fairly new term? All my life, I always heard about bottoms, tops, and vers, but until recently, I hadn’t come across a term for guys who don’t quite fit into those three categories. Honestly I feel like I have been a side since the very beginning but since I only had those other three terms to choose from, I chose bottom and took on that role since it was the closet one that fit.

Yup, "side" is the newest term on the block brought to you by younger Millennials / older Gen Z.

 

[chrisrobin]

As they say, more ways to kill a cat than one.
There are certainly many more ways to enjoy a sexual rapport with a partner, from just kissing and cuddling, frotting and mutual masturbation to oral sex, penetration should never be the only way sex happens in a relationship.

 

[eridim]

I think your loss in interest of bottoming comes with age, lower hormones making you horny and monotony with the same partner.

Start a sport or something that raises your horny hormones, try different partners and keep active. You'll want to bottom again for sure. Doing side stuff is also fun, but in my mind it's like comparing masturbating with sex with a partner. They are both pleasurable but in different ways. One requires more physical effort and the others is just you laying inactively and going for the easy bust. I have these moments often where meeting with a guy is too much effort and my level of hornyness and desire to be active are lower than my wish to bust a nut without too much hassle. Basically it's not an apples to apples comparison in my opinion.

 

[Lilyoftheghetto]

I think your loss in interest of bottoming comes with age, lower hormones making you horny and monotony with the same partner.

Start a sport or something that raises your horny hormones, try different partners and keep active. You'll want to bottom again for sure. Doing side stuff is also fun, but in my mind it's like comparing masturbating with sex with a partner. They are both pleasurable but in different ways. One requires more physical effort and the others is just you laying inactively and going for the easy bust. I have these moments often where meeting with a guy is too much effort and my level of hornyness and desire to be active are lower than my wish to bust a nut without too much hassle. Basically it's not an apples to apples comparison in my opinion.

I will probably bottom again - if I meet the right man who I am really vibing with and not just for every Tom, Dick and Harry who wants to fuck. I never have but yeah I am at the age now where you have to be truly extraordinary to get up in this bussy.

 

[mechamike]

I've never bottomed, but I can say that I love the inclusion of "side", and I think it accurately describes many people. It is ok not to prefer penetrative sex and no one should ever feel bad about it or be pressured to do something they do not want to do.

I mean just being with my partner and enjoying the "side" activities is super rewarding. If my partner doesn't want to bottom that is no problem.

 

[find83]

Some people are just not big into anal, while others it's the reason for living. "Side" maybe a recent term but those feelings or behavior aren't. People just didn't mention it in the past out of fear of being ostracized or misunderstood.
People need to do what's comfortable for them and explore the things that they enjoy ( within reason). Furthermore, we as a society need to be able to accept/tolerate things that are outside our defined box.

 

[DaveNorth]

Bottoming to me is so dependent on the quality of the top. I can only get my head around receiving from absolute alphas that I am infatuated with. I can't imagine receiving from anyone who isn't absolutely alpha or unattractive.

 

[halcyondays]

Not to be too strict with definitions (e.g. some guys identify as oral bottoms) but in my experience bottoms love to be penetrated and don't think it's overrated.

 

[Genuinkguy]

bottoms who dont like being penetrated arent bottoms.
categorizations exists so that we dont get mislead by others.

 

[Infernal]

The term "side" has been around for a long time, but it has only recently become a more mainstream label. I feel that way a lot. I used to love to top a hot bottom. I had a fuck buddy with a nice, big dick that I would bottom for when the mood struck. These days, I'm rarely interested in either of them. Put a nice dick in my face, and I can't wait to get my lips on it. Side is a much better term for it.

 

[Sneaky91]

I've always been a submissive bottom. All my life. Never remotely interested in Topping so I've always been penetrated. I can't say it was ever my favorite thing to do. I always enjoyed giving blow jobs way more. I always gave into penetration because 99% of the men I've always been with have been Tops so they expected to be able to penetrate me (I never purposely seeked them out).

But, over the past few years, I have not been interested in being penetrated at all. I have always found, even more so as I get older, it's just too much trouble! The douching, the diet, making sure I'm using the correct lube and right amount of it, the ass play to loosen up, the pain of getting the penis in, worrying about the Top's penis coming out clean. About time we get to the actual fucking, I'm usually pretty exhausted. LOL! This played a part in me losing my last boyfriend. He was a total Top and I just wasn't interested in being penetrated any longer. He found someone else who was and I ended up leaving him. Well, actually, the break up was way more complicated than that but that was the final thing that made me walk away from a very toxic relationship.

Anyway, am I the only one who thinks being penetrated is way over-rated? I'm always bewildered as to why so many people here on other forums are so anxious for porn stars to bottom who identify as Tops. I don't think being penetrated is all it's cracked up to be. Any other bottoms here who don't love being penetrated or am I the only one???

Honestly, you've just not had good tops by the sounds of it.

Initial penetration is always going to hurt, no matter how seasoned a bottom you are. But if you have a top who understands how to ease you into it and work up to a pounding, it feels amazing.

 

[Lilyoftheghetto]

Honestly, you've just not had good tops by the sounds of it.

Initial penetration is always going to hurt, no matter how seasoned a bottom you are. But if you have a top who understands how to ease you into it and work up to a pounding, it feels amazing.

I've had some excellent Tops. My long term boyfriend was very tender with me, well, in the bedroom anyway. LOL! A couple of more guys who were really fantastic Tops. All of them took their time with me. Stroke games 100% on point.

I just never was really in love with bottoming. Not saying I never derived pleasure from it because I definately have, many many times. Have I ever been able to take being fucked for longer than 5 minutes? Nope! I just don't really love the feeling of something in my anus. Dildos, plugs, fingers...I never enjoyed it. I've always hated the douching process. I know a lot of bottoms don't even bother but that's not how I roll. I've always been much more of an oral guy. I always try to make dudes cum while I'm sucking them off so they will be too wiped out for anal. Unfortunately, to keep a man, I have to be willing to do oral and be penetrated. So until I can find a man who is good with me just giving him blow jobs, I just have to grin and bear it.