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Really, you want to add gasoline to the dumpster fire that is Ben Platt in Dear Evan Hansen? My choice would be Antonio Cipriano, but he’s pushing it too at 21. But the boy has charisma for days and the vocal range to play Gabe.
Gabe was never "real" in the first place. It's Diane's manifestation/fantasy on how his son would look like. So it make sense if Gabe will look like CW teen jock (technically Netflix teen jock), because that's what 40 something woman see every day on TV. I read about a production where the creative team trying to find a Gabe who have the same vibe as teen pop stars.
On the other hand, the role of Natalie (and Henry) will require real teenager. Even in the Broadway original cast. Aaron Tveit was waaaaaaaaay older than Jennifer Damiano who was literally a teenager, 17, when she started Next to Normal.