bro code question

[813691]

So i went to go see my buddy's band play and there was a girl there i fucked over 5 years ago back in college. Didnt end bad, jsut a fling. No big deal, i figured id say hi after.. so my buddys set end and he comes and talks to his group of friends and you could tell was very interested in her. They got along great too. Ive known this guy for about 7 years now.. I figured I would just not mention that i nailed her because then it would ruin it for him(as few men like to screw who their friends did). So later i start talking to her and shes making it pretty clear shed totally be up for another fling. This is something I will not do considering my friend seems to be taken with her. i have 2 and a possible 3rd other that im having fun with so this is not a big loss.


my question is:

College is one thing, but if 5 years later she is still looking jsut for fun, should i be letting my buddy know that shes not a woman to take seriously? should i even bother telling him i banged her? or should i jsut let what happens between them take it's path and mind my own business..
i was thinking of jsut minding my own business but i can't help but think that it's breakingvthe bro code in a way.

let me know your thoughts.

 

[Brisler]

Whether you tell him that you and her had a fling in college or not (I can't really see how that would matter either way), do not tell him that she's not one to be taken seriously. If she really isn't, then let him find out on his own. They're both adults, so I'm sure neither of them need you as a babysitter. No offense.

Besides, who's to say what can happen. I have seen several meaningless flings develop into meaningful relationships.

 

[Over-reaching]

Myself, I'd bow out in this situation. For one thing, I'm not entirely sure that you can say with certainty that she's not a woman to be taken seriously just because she might be interested in another fling with you. She and your friend have to work out for themselves any relationship they might develop, and asides and obbligato-style noises-off won't help. If I was in his position, I'd rather find out any bad news for myself (and maybe enjoy myself in the mean time anyway). He doesn't need to know that you fucked her 5 years either.

 

[Petrolhead]

keeping your nose out of it would be best

 

[D_Eaton_Beever]

Agree. If she's just up for a fling, let him have the fun of fucking her and moving on.

 

[813691]

ok good im glad im doing the right thing by jsut keeping out of it, thanks for the answers guys

 

[beretta216]

Absolutely. Bro Code says your loyalty is to your Bro -- and while I'm the first to say "cover for your Bro if he's doing something," you have just as equal an obligation to let him know something's going on with her.

When it comes to Bro Code questions, ask yourself one thing, "Would I want a Bro to do it for me?" Whether it's to cover for you because you're sneaking in a one-nighter, or you see his girl tonguing another guy at a restaurant... or whatever. When you give someone the title of "Bro," you place yourself in his business, and he in yours. Back him up, no matter what.

 

[Dport]

You call him a buddy and talk about "bro code". There's a difference.

I have many buddies but only a few "bros"..If he's a bro I would have told him as soon as his set was over. A bro will know you're just looking out for him.

If he's just a dude I know..meh, why bother, she'll deny it, he'll choose to believe her and things won't be cool between you and him ever again.



The word 'bro' sucks ass.

 

[green26]

If he is really your friend, you should tell him. What happens if they start a serious relationship and he finds out later you had a fling with her? It happened years ago so its not a big deal, or it shouldn't be.

 

[hung9mike]

I'm of the opinion that a good buddy knows when to butt out, and this is one of those situations you need to stay out of. What you did with that girl 5 years ago is of no relevance to him, her, or even you at this point because

i have 2 and a possible 3rd other that im having fun with so this is not a big loss... should i be letting my buddy know that shes not a woman to take seriously?

perhaps you didn't take her, or for that matter, any of the women you've been with seriously.

 

[Hatt_101]

If you dont want her again just tell him that you hooked up with her before and that she wants more. Don't say you think she's not worth dating just let him know that she wants you for a hook up.

 

[jtheimpaler]

Ignore her intnetions.... chicks are unpredicatabe.. could start as a fing and end with 3 kids and a happy marriage... as for him... jut let him know you were seing her bfeore, if you still interested tell him that as wel... just dont keep shit from each other...

 

[cloverleaf]

Leave it alone. If she was a psycho or something you should tell. But if she is just plain loose, don't rate your past conquests for a friend. Everybody is different. They could fall in or fuck and duck out. You just expose your friendship to harm by entering the fray.

 

[twoton]

my question is:

College is one thing, but if 5 years later she is still looking jsut for fun, should i be letting my buddy know that shes not a woman to take seriously? should i even bother telling him i banged her? or should i jsut let what happens between them take it's path and mind my own business..
i was thinking of jsut minding my own business but i can't help but think that it's breakingvthe bro code in a way.

let me know your thoughts.

I wouldn't tell him anything. Five years is a long time. Maybe she actually likes you. As in, maybe she'd rather bang you than him. It's not like a game of musical chairs, where whoever sits down first wins. Maybe the chair has an opinion.

If you're five years out of college--26 years old, thereabouts--you're getting too old to have a bro code. Fuck the bro code and do what you want.

 

[FatCucumber]

You call him a buddy and talk about "bro code". There's a difference.

I have many buddies but only a few "bros"..If he's a bro I would have told him as soon as his set was over. A bro will know you're just looking out for him.

If he's just a dude I know..meh, why bother, she'll deny it, he'll choose to believe her and things won't be cool between you and him ever again.



The word 'bro' sucks ass.

I like his thinking! Good advice!

 

[miguelandal]

let your buddy go fuck her. when they do break-up, and they most likely will. open up to your buddy and compare stories.