Bro jobs in 2018... just a guy thing?

[693987]

See here for just a single thread that's an example, and there are a lot more than just that one thread

https://www.lpsg.com/threads/married-men-who-use-a-cocksucker.28719/

 

[LilBigWang]

Fair enough, that's how you feel. Best to be open about it, much preferable to being indirect. This site has been quite an eye opener to me. I hadn't fully understood how some people really feel about male gay sex acts. The visceral reaction - revolted and creeped out - and the need to express it. With so many gay/bi on the site, all the talk and imagery of mm sexuality, even possible advances, it must be a constant assault on your sense of disgust

but it's okay, be cause his 1% gayness allows him to turn a blind eye when convenient

 

[328982]

I wonder what percentage of married men have cheated on their wives with women or with other men. I'd guess the mm percentage is tiny vs. mf. Yet some people choose to fixate on the one "grain" of truth in a desert of sand.

 

[pursine]

Wow, the problems of universals on LPSG!

 

[693987]

I wonder what percentage of married men have cheated on their wives with women or with other men. I'd guess the mm percentage is tiny vs. mf. Yet some people choose to fixate on the one "grain" of truth in a desert of sand.

No, I don't cut anyone any slack for cheating, actually. I also very specifically said it's probably not even the majority. Yet some people choose to fixate on implying anyone with differing opinions than theirs are homophobes and say people are giving slack when none is being given. Try again Also, if you're going to try and call me out for a post I made, maybe have the guts to do so directly.

 

[RamblingCock]

I largely agree with what you said, with my exceptions to that flat out agreement being 3 and 4. If LPSG is any indicator there is a fair amount of truth with a not completely insignificant percentage of bisexual men that fit 3 and 4. The sheer amount of bisexual men here and elsewhere looking for down low, blatantly saying they're married to a woman and cheating, etc is a bit sad to me. Add on top of that the large amount of individuals within that demographic who aren't using safe sex practices......

It obviously and most definitely isn't all bisexual men, heck, it's probably not even the majority. It does have a grain of truth to it, though.

On this, I was bisexual through college and once I was married I am for the most part straight. (I say "for the most part" because gay and bi porn still is attractive to me. And yes, psychologically I can reassure myself that I'm not cheating on my wife with other women...but number 4 is still false.)

I will take exception to the wording on number 3 - understanding that these are myths about bisexuals, not truths - in that it isn't that Bis are "unable" to commit, it's that we're open to the relationships that both genders offer.

I've discussed this several times on my blog, including the most recent entry which is on the topic of group sex (in which bisexuality can play a very fun role).

I truly believe that sexuality, as with most things, is on a sliding scale. Because I am happily married doesn't mean I am straight, however. I still have an attraction to men in the same sort of way I have an attraction to women. Whether it's something I act upon versus simply "have" is up to me as an individual, but being Bi is no more a choice for me than being gay or straight is for anyone else.

(I know gay men who love women's cleavage. I know straight guys who will admire, in private conversation, another man's shoulders or even ass. Women have more of a luxury to voice those thoughts, so it's less rare to hear an open a comment.)

And anyone who insists they've never had any kind of attraction for a person of the same sex is more rare than we think it is, based upon my observations. Doesn't mean they don't exist either, but finding people attractive and sexual doesn't mean anybody's going to act on it.

 

[hairynycstud]

On this, I was bisexual through college and once I was married I am for the most part straight. (I say "for the most part" because gay and bi porn still is attractive to me. And yes, psychologically I can reassure myself that I'm not cheating on my wife with other women...but number 4 is still false.)

I will take exception to the wording on number 3 - understanding that these are myths about bisexuals, not truths - in that it isn't that Bis are "unable" to commit, it's that we're open to the relationships that both genders offer.

I've discussed this several times on my blog, including the most recent entry which is on the topic of group sex (in which bisexuality can play a very fun role).

I truly believe that sexuality, as with most things, is on a sliding scale. Because I am happily married doesn't mean I am straight, however. I still have an attraction to men in the same sort of way I have an attraction to women. Whether it's something I act upon versus simply "have" is up to me as an individual, but being Bi is no more a choice for me than being gay or straight is for anyone else.

(I know gay men who love women's cleavage. I know straight guys who will admire, in private conversation, another man's shoulders or even ass. Women have more of a luxury to voice those thoughts, so it's less rare to hear an open a comment.)

And anyone who insists they've never had any kind of attraction for a person of the same sex is more rare than we think it is, based upon my observations. Doesn't mean they don't exist either, but finding people attractive and sexual doesn't mean anybody's going to act on it.

Bro think you are so on point!! Its male instinct...ultimate male bonding...most guys bi/bicurious just afraid to admit it

 

[693987]

On this, I was bisexual through college and once I was married I am for the most part straight. (I say "for the most part" because gay and bi porn still is attractive to me. And yes, psychologically I can reassure myself that I'm not cheating on my wife with other women...but number 4 is still false.)

I will take exception to the wording on number 3 - understanding that these are myths about bisexuals, not truths - in that it isn't that Bis are "unable" to commit, it's that we're open to the relationships that both genders offer.

I've discussed this several times on my blog, including the most recent entry which is on the topic of group sex (in which bisexuality can play a very fun role).

I truly believe that sexuality, as with most things, is on a sliding scale. Because I am happily married doesn't mean I am straight, however. I still have an attraction to men in the same sort of way I have an attraction to women. Whether it's something I act upon versus simply "have" is up to me as an individual, but being Bi is no more a choice for me than being gay or straight is for anyone else.

(I know gay men who love women's cleavage. I know straight guys who will admire, in private conversation, another man's shoulders or even ass. Women have more of a luxury to voice those thoughts, so it's less rare to hear an open a comment.)

And anyone who insists they've never had any kind of attraction for a person of the same sex is more rare than we think it is, based upon my observations. Doesn't mean they don't exist either, but finding people attractive and sexual doesn't mean anybody's going to act on it.

I'm not heterosexual. I'm quite aware of what it is like to be attracted to more than one gender. I know plenty of bisexual, pan, queer, etc people who have never cheated, myself included. I've yet to encounter any other demographic as far as sexual orientation where I see cheating talked about as much as (the less than majority amount) with bisexual men.

 

[JaimeB]

I don’t think our current American culture has dealt in any meaningful way with bisexuality. To this point both “straight” and “gay” have been happy to live in a “not me” world.

The following statements reflect a range of beliefs (opinions) held by the general population about Bisexuals. They were presented in William Burleson’s book Bi America: Myths, Truths and Struggles

1. Bisexuals are easy: they are indiscriminate about whom they have sex with.

2. Bisexuals are swingers.

3. Bisexuals are unable to commit to either gender.

4. Bisexual men are all married guys cheating on their wives.

5. Bisexuality I just a phase on the way to being lesbian or gay.

6. Bisexuals are unable to be happy, have low self-esteem or are mentally ill.

7. Bisexuals are disease carriers.

8. Bisexuals are a very small part of the population.

9. Bisexuals are just trying to maintain heterosexual privilege.

10. Bisexuals can’t be feminist.

11. People call themselves bisexual to be trendy.

12. Bisexuality is a choice.

It is easy to see why someone who is bi would not want to wear the label or feel the need to defend themselves to an uneducated population.

Not every culture assumes that heterosexuality is the norm. Many others, including the ancient Greeks, one of our most influential cultural heritages, assumed that most men, at least, were capable of sexual relationships with both men and women. Many contemporary cultures are not at all surprised that this is at least unexceptional. One of my favorite examples is Mexico, where men who play with both sexes are called “cosmopolitas,” that is, “cosmopolitan.” By the way, to all of those who think you know Spanish, this “-ita” ending is not a feminine diminutive. It’s derived from Greek adjectives with this morphological feature, and can refer to persons of either sex who share a particular characteristic. That’s common gender in grammar, by the way, and not bisexual in terms of human behavior.

Think of it this way: There’s the bell curve, in which there are two extremes which together represent less than half the members of the set being considered. Exclusively heterosexual persons can be at one of the extremes, and exclusively homosexual people at the other. That leaves a middle ground in which those included can fall on a spectrum between those two extreme phenomena. Not to say that all might be perfectly bisexual, but somewhere in between. Witness LPSG members who use two percentages to describe their orientation.

Claiming the label “straight” for oneself carries no special status except that which our culture assigns to it. Bear in mind that it’s the same culture that is largely simultaneously obsessive and phobic about sex in general.

The people who inhabit the world are just doing what they feel is the best fit for them. Whatever label they choose assume, or not assume, each one is a free agent. Most of us, I’d bet, would just like to be accepted for who we authentically are. Hiding behind a label might just be window-dressing. Ya think?

 

[SillyGayBoy]

Have known many guys who identify as straight, and they still wanted to experiment and do stuff. It seemed they never met a gay guy they were comfortable doing that stuff with before me and maybe were always curious but never wanted to try. It never got weird either and it seems many men are heteroflexible.

I sort of miss that but getting in serious relationships, it seems that's over now.

 

[Voglener]

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blo...e/201711/dude-sex-bud-sex-mostly-straight-sex

I'm reading this now and it's very eye-opening. I think it speaks a bit to the OP's comments.

 

[JohnDoeXXXm]

Dead on

 

[archetypal_mystic]

I have a newish "friend" whom I met through a medical/ theraputic setting. He was married, has a LT gf, dated women, but very matter of factly also admitted that he has had the occasional gay affair. He sees the activity in the rhealm of fun, and bonding and being a human with sexual urges. He does not accept any label, but I would describe him as mostly straight. Well one day there was an opportunity and he offered to give me a bj....hands down the best I ever had, and he took great pride in doing a great job and pleasing me. That is the definition of a Bro job.

 

[JaimeB]

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blo...e/201711/dude-sex-bud-sex-mostly-straight-sex

I'm reading this now and it's very eye-opening. I think it speaks a bit to the OP's comments.

I just read the article in the link. Yup. If you want to read some of these rationalesin a somewhat less clinical vein,check out my blog post “Carl Talks About His Dick.”

 

[bi_todd]

I’m firmly of the opinion that male-male sex is gay, and guys who engage in it can’t call themselves straight. Well....I guess they can call themselves whatever they want. I won’t call them straight.

Examining current societal trends about trans individuals, we are expected that use the labels and pronouns that people associate with rather than what their genitalia and/or DNA would otherwise dictate. We do this out of politeness and respect for individual feelings (I think).

How is that different for a man who sometimes has sex - bro jobs, whatever - with other men but still self-identifies as being straight? Are people “phobic” if they refuse to go along with his desired label? Is it hate speech (or at least a “micro-aggression”) to insist he is not straight?

I’m actually not trying to be funny here. Language is only one casualty in this new hyper-PC world.

 

[622675]

I just read the article in the link. Yup. If you want to read some of these rationalesin a somewhat less clinical vein,check out my blog post “Carl Talks About His Dick.”

I bought Ward’s book several months ago. Ward’s main point is that what guys do together may have nothing to do with sexual preference regardless of how homosexual the acts might appear.

For example, how many guys competing in the 2018 Winter Olympics would suck a dick if it would guarantee that they get a metal? I bet there would be a lot of them and “straight” guys would likely be at the front of the line.

Giving a blowjob in return for a metal wouldn’t make either the giver or the dick owner gay. Nor would it necessarily make the BJ itself homosexual. It would simply be a means to an end.



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Ward, J. (2015). Not gay: Sex between straight white men. New York: New York University Press.