Can't get him to cum from oral.

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If he is big, watch your teeth. I'm on the big side of average but I have really developed an aversion to blow jobs because people start chewing on me and I dont' enjoy that at all.
 
IntoxicatingToxin said:
This isn't normally an issue for me, so it's extra frustrating right now. My boyfriend tells me I'm the best lover he's ever had, and I appreciate that and am pleased with that. However, I can't make him cum from oral for the life of me and it drives me insane. He says he's always been that way, but I can't figure out why. He has no problem cumming from sex, and he says I give the best head he's ever had, and it feels great and he enjoys it and moans the entire time I'm doing it. He's never asked me to stop or acted uninterested, and he stays rock-hard the entire time.

But why the eff can't I get him to cum?!? I'm guessing that, at some level, it's mental on his part. Not sure if he just enjoys it so much that he holds back from cumming so he can keep experiencing it (I know some men do this) or what. He said he's come close a few times but just can't quite cross the finish line. I really want to be able to taste his load and feel him shoot in my mouth. :frown1: I suck and lick until I just can't do it anymore, my mouth hurts, stuff is going numb, etcetera.

Any ideas? Tips?
Click to expand...

Don't worry too much about it. I have only cum once from just oral, and I have received some totally amazing blowjobs. But that's just the way I am.....and sounds like your BF is also.
 
I've never come from oral. Used to frustrate me, but not anymore. I realize that I have the best orgasms after being erect and teased for a long period of time. Brought to the edge, time and again, until finally KABOOM. The only one who can do that properly is me. No one else can even come close. If I am in control, I can withdraw at the right time, and make it last. During a bj, I am not in control. Most of the woman I've been with just keep going up-and-down endlessly, and I end up getting desensitized.

Try not going at it endlessly. Stop now and then and do something different. Build him up slowly, tease him endlessly. Think you'll get the desired result.:wink:
 
Lol I have this "problem" too I guess, I can definitely relate to what your BF is saying. I love a good blowjob, but I've gotten my dick sucked for literally hours without cumming, and it can be a little annoying because it's not like I'm trying to hold back or anything. It's a turn-on to see someone persistently blow you for that long, but for some reason sometimes I just don't cum from it that fast. Don't take it so personally, I don't think it's a mental thing, it's just that oral sex is a specific type of stimulation that doesn't always get everyone off at the same rate.

As someone that loves getting blown, my advice to you would be to suck the hell out of that dick like it's the only dick you've ever wanted. Enthusiasm of the cocksucker is the biggest & most important aspect/turn-on of a BJ to me. Pretend like the cum is a super thick milkshake & the dick is the straw :tongue:. Slurp and suck it like it's the best tasting thing you've ever had in your mouth and you can't get enough of it. Let out little "MMM" noises every time you go up & down. Don't be afraid to get sloppy and wet, slobber & choke & gag yourself on it like you're trying to kill yourself (it might sound weird but it's hot to see and guys get turned on by visual things like that). Go as crazy and aggressive as possible (but be VERY careful of teeth). Slap yourself with it, slap it on your tongue, try to talk dirty and comment on how big/hard it is and how badly you want to be fed cum. And when he finally cums, keep sucking until he tells you to stop. The best BJ I've ever gotten, she went for about an hour and a half until I came and then kept sucking me after I came and kept going even longer until I came a second time and it was fucking incredible.

I don't think I could ever ever cum from some lame half-assed unenthusiastic blowjob from someone that doesn't know what they're doing or doesn't like to give head, I need to have my cock worshiped. And even though it may take a very long time, when i DO cum from oral I usually have a very intense leg-shaking orgasm and shoot a massive load. It sounds like you really want to make him happy this way, so just keep the advice you get in mind, be patient, and it will happen. good luck!
 
There's some great advice here! I agree with VZR1800 in particular - it's definitely worth taking it slowly, not just for his own sensitivity, but also for your powers of endurance.

Try beginning with a little teasing, getting him rock-hard before you go anywhere near his member. Then, start off with some slow luxurious licking and kissing, try some new techniques, spend some intimate time with his most sensitive areas, then begin in earnest...

I actually find your issue quite interesting because I once helped a guy solve his premature ejaculation issue. This is partially the reverse of the problem, though I think perhaps the same issues apply. I've always thought I ought to write something about my experiences, but I was never sure where I should post it. Anyway, if you'd like a chat, let me know!

Otherwise, best of luck tipping your man over the oral-edge!
 
I can't cum from oral, either. I always feel like I'm going to, and somehow this wave comes over me and then I don't feel it anymore.

Girls always wanna treat it like a project.. not that I'm complaining :p
I just have to have sex afterward to finish off, 'tis all.
 
if your going to give oral DON'T stop sucking and start jerking it because that is a turn-off ...if your sucking continue to suck and watch your teeth don't scrape his cock
some people suck for a couple of min and then stop and start jerking it then some start sucking real fast and stop you have to be steady slow and pick up speed then slow down and pick up speed again and believe me he will shoot his load
 
A few tips from an expert blowjob recipient -

First, some simple mechanical concerns:

1. Make sure your teeth aren't scraping on the head of his cock. I've been told that some guys like this, but for most it quickly results in chafing and numbness, if not outright pain.

2. In order to cum, I usually need at least one hand, preferably two, stroking me in addition to the actual sucking. The idea is to sort of make a "simulated vagina" with your hands and mouth that covers as much of the length of his cock as possible.

3. Keep things wet enough so that your hands are smoothly gliding over his cock, rather than simply gripping the skin and tugging it back and forth.

4. Try different positions. Personally, I prefer to be standing, with the girl either sitting or on the ground on her knees. Others prefer to be sucked in a more relaxed position, while laying or sitting down. If you don't already know what he prefers, experiment a little, or of course just ask him.

5. Especially if your goal is to make him cum, I would personally say not to even bother with licking except as a kind of foreplay leading up to the actual sucking and stroking. It's the sort of thing that looks sexy and that you probably think you should do because the girls in porn do it a lot, but personally I don't find that it provides much sensation. As odd as I feel typing this, it can be seriously distracting when a girl decides to stop sucking so she can lick all over my cock.


Now, a couple of psychological concerns:

6. Some people are just naturally more inclined to be "givers" and can be uncomfortable in the position of receiving. If you were to moan while sucking, or perhaps momentarily remove your mouth to tell him how wet it's making you to feel his big cock filling up your mouth, it might help, as these are sexy ways to communicate to him that giving him pleasure gives you pleasure. Obviously you'd want to be subtle about this, especially at first, so it doesn't seem fake or forced.

7. Having direct control over the stimulation can be extremely helpful in reaching orgasm. For some, the dominant aspect is a turn on, but for most it's simply easier to cum when controlling the stimulation. As an example, think about masturbation. Hardly anyone has trouble reaching orgasm while masturbating, when they are completely in control of the stimulation, but things can get tricky when another person is controlling the act. A guy isn't always comfortable telling a woman exactly what to do and how to do it, and she has no way to see inside his mind to know what feels best for him, so it may be helpful to simply give him complete control over the blowjob. Encourage him to hold your head and guide your mouth over his cock in just the way he likes, or to hold your head still while he fucks your mouth. If he needs more stimulation, you can hold a hand in front of your mouth, so that he will be fucking both your hand and mouth, or gently holding your head to guide them over his cock. Obviously, this can introduce the problem of gagging, but that's just a matter of telling him nicely to go easier if he's giving you more than you're comfortable with.



Overall, if you aren't incorporating your hands, that's the first place to start. If you are, try out #6 and #7, assuming those ideas appeal to you. In particular, the fact that your guy is interested in 69 makes me think he would be more into receiving if he was also giving. Since you have serious issues with receiving oral, it would be best to try to display to him just how much pleasure it gives you to suck his cock, rather than trying to force yourself to enjoy 69.

Having him fuck your mouth allows him to take a more active role in the blowjob and gives him more control of his stimulation, overall making it a lot more like actual sex. Since he cums just fine from sex, it's definitely something to look into, again assuming you have no qualms with him fucking your mouth.
 
southeastone said:
how about stop pressuring the guy and just see how it goes, considering you have your own hang ups it's maybe kinda rich to expect him to perform like a circus trick......just a thought
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yeah bro I can't stand it when women feverishly suck on my cock begging me to fill their mouths with hot cum like I'm some sort of ejaculating trained seal.
 
I would watch when he jerks off and study the mechanics. I've found that there is a trigger area on men, an area they'll rub harder/faster to bring themselves to fruition. The trick is to stay away from the parts of his penis that close the door on orgasm because of sensitivity issues and just hit the trigger area. For my bf it's the underside area of his penis about an inch or two below his head. I'll press my tongue/fingers firmly onto that area when I know he's close and try not to simulate his head too much (I know, it's a difficult) and he blast off every time. Just adding pressure with my tongue or fingers and giving quick jerks or rubs or firm sucks and licks and bang, a mouthful of lust.

When we were first going out sometimes it would take ages to make him come through oral so I did a little online research, watch one day as he jerked off onto my stomach after fucking me, and saw where his fingers were in relation to his cock. I saw how he made a ring with his thumb and index finger and jerked himself till he started shooting. The next time I went down on him I went through it like I normally would but when I could feel and see he was getting close I did more hand work, using the same technique he did with his fingers, breaking it up with oral that targeted that area specifically, and in no time he was shooting off like a roman candle. As you know, a beautiful sight.
 
Mercurygirl said:
I would watch when he jerks off and study the mechanics. I've found that there is a trigger area on men, an area they'll rub harder/faster to bring themselves to fruition. ... For my bf it's the underside area of his penis about an inch or two below his head...
Click to expand...

Mercurygirl is on to something there. The same area of my cock is the most sensitive. If someone sucking me doesn't stimulate there, there's no chance I'll finish.
 
Good advise given and I would agree try different positions and don't pressure him.

I personally have no issue with cumming from a blow job. Not that I have everytime but if it's done properly BAM!!!!!!
 
Booty_Boy said:
There's some great advice here! I agree with VZR1800 in particular - it's definitely worth taking it slowly, not just for his own sensitivity, but also for your powers of endurance.

Try beginning with a little teasing, getting him rock-hard before you go anywhere near his member. Then, start off with some slow luxurious licking and kissing, try some new techniques, spend some intimate time with his most sensitive areas, then begin in earnest...

I actually find your issue quite interesting because I once helped a guy solve his premature ejaculation issue. This is partially the reverse of the problem, though I think perhaps the same issues apply. I've always thought I ought to write something about my experiences, but I was never sure where I should post it. Anyway, if you'd like a chat, let me know!

Otherwise, best of luck tipping your man over the oral-edge!
Click to expand...

Whenever I come across something that I don't know where to post it, I just put it in a blog. :tongue:

lolcocks said:
A few tips from an expert blowjob recipient -

First, some simple mechanical concerns:

1. Make sure your teeth aren't scraping on the head of his cock. I've been told that some guys like this, but for most it quickly results in chafing and numbness, if not outright pain.

No scraping. My teeth stay out of the way pretty well, he's not so thick that I can't avoid it.

2. In order to cum, I usually need at least one hand, preferably two, stroking me in addition to the actual sucking. The idea is to sort of make a "simulated vagina" with your hands and mouth that covers as much of the length of his cock as possible.

I've done that with some guys in the past, but tbh my boyfriend isn't all that long. The hand would get in the way methinks. I can't quite bury my face in his crotch, but I can take all but maybe a half inch of his cock in my mouth.

3. Keep things wet enough so that your hands are smoothly gliding over his cock, rather than simply gripping the skin and tugging it back and forth.

4. Try different positions. Personally, I prefer to be standing, with the girl either sitting or on the ground on her knees. Others prefer to be sucked in a more relaxed position, while laying or sitting down. If you don't already know what he prefers, experiment a little, or of course just ask him.

The only problem I have with him standing while I suck his dick is that I wouldn't be able to take as much of him in my mouth - he has an upward curve. As it is, I have to sort of lay alongside him (with my knees by his head kinda) or at least be on my knees next to him to get him in my mouth as far as I can take it to accommodate the curve.

5. Especially if your goal is to make him cum, I would personally say not to even bother with licking except as a kind of foreplay leading up to the actual sucking and stroking. It's the sort of thing that looks sexy and that you probably think you should do because the girls in porn do it a lot, but personally I don't find that it provides much sensation. As odd as I feel typing this, it can be seriously distracting when a girl decides to stop sucking so she can lick all over my cock.

I try not to do this, the only time I stop to lick is when I've been sucking his dick for a -while- and my jaw is starting to cramp up. Lol.


Now, a couple of psychological concerns:

6. Some people are just naturally more inclined to be "givers" and can be uncomfortable in the position of receiving. If you were to moan while sucking, or perhaps momentarily remove your mouth to tell him how wet it's making you to feel his big cock filling up your mouth, it might help, as these are sexy ways to communicate to him that giving him pleasure gives you pleasure. Obviously you'd want to be subtle about this, especially at first, so it doesn't seem fake or forced.

That's something I don't generally do, I'll have to try that and see if it helps.

7. Having direct control over the stimulation can be extremely helpful in reaching orgasm. For some, the dominant aspect is a turn on, but for most it's simply easier to cum when controlling the stimulation. As an example, think about masturbation. Hardly anyone has trouble reaching orgasm while masturbating, when they are completely in control of the stimulation, but things can get tricky when another person is controlling the act. A guy isn't always comfortable telling a woman exactly what to do and how to do it, and she has no way to see inside his mind to know what feels best for him, so it may be helpful to simply give him complete control over the blowjob. Encourage him to hold your head and guide your mouth over his cock in just the way he likes, or to hold your head still while he fucks your mouth. If he needs more stimulation, you can hold a hand in front of your mouth, so that he will be fucking both your hand and mouth, or gently holding your head to guide them over his cock. Obviously, this can introduce the problem of gagging, but that's just a matter of telling him nicely to go easier if he's giving you more than you're comfortable with.

That's something else I've wanted to try - laying on my back on the bed, head hanging off the edge, and asking him to fuck my mouth. I think it would be hot for him, and the angle would work for his curve.



Overall, if you aren't incorporating your hands, that's the first place to start. If you are, try out #6 and #7, assuming those ideas appeal to you. In particular, the fact that your guy is interested in 69 makes me think he would be more into receiving if he was also giving. Since you have serious issues with receiving oral, it would be best to try to display to him just how much pleasure it gives you to suck his cock, rather than trying to force yourself to enjoy 69.

The issue I have with receiving oral is something I just need to get over, tbh. It's an emotional "block" from my childhood that's been affecting me for far too long. I'm working on it. :)

Having him fuck your mouth allows him to take a more active role in the blowjob and gives him more control of his stimulation, overall making it a lot more like actual sex. Since he cums just fine from sex, it's definitely something to look into, again assuming you have no qualms with him fucking your mouth.
Click to expand...

southeastone said:
how about stop pressuring the guy and just see how it goes, considering you have your own hang ups it's maybe kinda rich to expect him to perform like a circus trick......just a thought
Click to expand...

I don't pressure him. I have only talked to him about this once or twice since we've been together and the farthest I've gone with it is something along the lines of, "I can't wait until I get to feel you shoot in my mouth." No pressure on him. Normally I just suck his dick until I physically can't anymore, and then we move onto sex or whatever. He still gets great enjoyment out of is, as do I. It's not killing my mood or his mood and I don't complain about it or whatever. Nor do I take it personally that he hasn't cum from oral with me yet. It'll happen when it happens, I just want some ideas on how to expedite the process. :wink:

lolcocks said:
yeah bro I can't stand it when women feverishly suck on my cock begging me to fill their mouths with hot cum like I'm some sort of ejaculating trained seal.
Click to expand...

Lmao, that made me laugh out loud. :biggrin:

Mercurygirl said:
I would watch when he jerks off and study the mechanics. I've found that there is a trigger area on men, an area they'll rub harder/faster to bring themselves to fruition. The trick is to stay away from the parts of his penis that close the door on orgasm because of sensitivity issues and just hit the trigger area. For my bf it's the underside area of his penis about an inch or two below his head. I'll press my tongue/fingers firmly onto that area when I know he's close and try not to simulate his head too much (I know, it's a difficult) and he blast off every time. Just adding pressure with my tongue or fingers and giving quick jerks or rubs or firm sucks and licks and bang, a mouthful of lust.

When we were first going out sometimes it would take ages to make him come through oral so I did a little online research, watch one day as he jerked off onto my stomach after fucking me, and saw where his fingers were in relation to his cock. I saw how he made a ring with his thumb and index finger and jerked himself till he started shooting. The next time I went down on him I went through it like I normally would but when I could feel and see he was getting close I did more hand work, using the same technique he did with his fingers, breaking it up with oral that targeted that area specifically, and in no time he was shooting off like a roman candle. As you know, a beautiful sight.
Click to expand...

I'm working on this as well - I've asked him if he would feel comfortable jacking off in front of me sometime and his response was basically, "Erm... probably?" It just hasn't happened yet. Not going to push him to do it, but I'm gonna make sure he knows I want to see it and let him decide when he wants to make it happen. :biggrin:

Thanks for the ideas so far guys. I know one of my issues is that my mouth is sorta out of practice and I don't have the endurance/stamina that I used to. Doesn't help that we don't get to see each other but on the weekends, sometimes only every other weekend. Not enough regular oral to build up my muscles. :tongue: I can give a really great blowjob for about 10 minutes, then it starts to go downhill because my muscles are tired (so I'm not sucking as hard), my lips can't wrap as tightly around his cock, and it starts feeling just sort of sloppy and amateur. Maybe I should find something to practice on when he's not around.... :wink:
 
Ive never been much for cumming from oral sex, however there have been a few women who have seemed to buck the trend (or, get me to buck the trend!)..... More times than not, if a girl has a few orgasms and I still haven't had an orgasm; a good blow job will get me there.

Some filthy talk and noises will help things along as well...

1. Keep trying!
2. Let him know you love it
3. Tell him you want him to cum all over your face
4. When he blows, make sure you swallow
5. Enjoy!
 
I don't know if it's something to really worry about. Only one person has ever really managed to make me cum through simply a blow job and nothing else. Besides that, I've had some BJs that I've felt were better and I didn't/counted cum. Doesn't mean I didn't enjoy myself nor was it bad.

But that's just me.
 
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