Cheat?

[socalfreak]

Eh, its not always that simple. Sometimes everything else in the relationship is fine and the two ppl still love each other. Consider a couple in their 50's thats been together 30+ yrs. Has kids, grandkids, a home, assets etc. The wife goes through menopause, loses all sexual desire. Makes no effort to visit counselors or docs etc to correct it. But everything else is fine, should the hubby just divorce her and break up the family, go thru the financial hassle of a divorce? Or resign himself to a life without sex? Give her an ultimatum "Hey you better start being horny or else Im leaving" Boy thats romantic lol, now shes fucking hubby just to avoid being dumped, yeah thats a real turn on lol. (Reminds me of all the trophy wives in their 40s that fuck their 60 yr old rich hubbies just to keep the money coming)

Its not always a black n white situation.

Like in one of the other threads "Why do married men have suck buddies?" B/c its easier.

Actually, in this case, it really is that simple.
Go back and read the part that says "one night stand".
Also.... Monogamy is the predominant behavior in every country on earth.
Feel free to look it up.
Porn is popular because humans like fantasy. Watching a movie & hurting the person you claim to love by betraying their trust is miles apart.

 

[Sagittarius84]

Lord knows im not cheering for "Team Cheaters" but,

Also.... Monogamy is the predominant behavior in every country on earth.
Feel free to look it up.

Monogamy may be the predominant guise humanity has labelled, but our genetic ancestries prove it is far from what our actual behaviors suggest.

Watching a movie & hurting the person you claim to love by betraying their trust is miles apart.

When sexual intimacy is an established part of a relationship, and one party unilaterally decides it is no longer worth pursuing or regaining despite the other's needs how is that not betraying the trust of someone you claim to love? There was a time I thought all cheaters were selfish by nature but experience has shown me a lot of that is actually reclamation of self instead of selfishness.

 

[MilfBanger78]

Lord knows im not cheering for "Team Cheaters" but,
Monogamy may be the predominant guise humanity has labelled, but our genetic ancestries prove it is far from what our actual behaviors suggest.

When sexual intimacy is an established part of a relationship, and one party unilaterally decides it is no longer worth pursuing or regaining despite the other's needs how is that not betraying the trust of someone you claim to love? There was a time I thought all cheaters were selfish by nature but experience has shown me a lot of that is actually reclamation of self instead of selfishness.

Exactly. Some people cant process the idea that you can have sexual desire for someone without love. A discreet fuck buddy while in a sexless marriage does no harm compared to a messy divorce breaking up the family after decades together. etc, if every other factor in the relationship is fine. Discreet being the key word. No harm, no foul.

 

[MilfBanger78]

Actually, in this case, it really is that simple.
Go back and read the part that says "one night stand".
Also.... Monogamy is the predominant behavior in every country on earth.
Feel free to look it up.
Porn is popular because humans like fantasy. Watching a movie & hurting the person you claim to love by betraying their trust is miles apart.

I'm not advocating random one-night stands. A steady fuck buddy, when the wife or hubby you love has zero sex drive and zero desire to work on it, is harmless if its kept discreet. Far more harmless than breaking up the family. Not budging on that one. In fact most marriages become even more harmonious when the unsatisfied partner gets his or her needs met elsewhere.

Monogamy is not natural. Its learned (begrudgingly) and has only really been practiced for the past 1000 yrs. And in most cases its a facade. My FB inbox tells the tale. Married women posting "Sunday Funday!! Love my hubby and kids!" pics. Then meanwhile during the week sending me raunchy messages titty pics ass pics etc and drunk messages from the bar on Fri-Sat nights wanting to come fuck me.

In large part the idea of modern monogamy is due to govt social engineering. Tax breaks for having kids, the threat of alimony child support etc.

Only 3-5% of mammals (including humans) are monogamous. Google it.

Are Humans Meant to Be Monogamous? | Live Science

As for porn, ok. take the average married Joe and put him in a room with his fave pornstar. Lets see how monogamous he is. If monogamy was natural guys wouldnt even look at porn.

 

[sodominsane]

Finding that special prince/princess charming is the desire, goal and fantasy , inside our hearts and reinforced by media and society form a very early age. From fairly tail bed time storys to the myth of a happy loving couple growing old together

monagamy is the way to go


One problem

humans are TERRIBLE at it

from recorded time to now!

 

[socalfreak]

Lord knows im not cheering for "Team Cheaters" but,
Monogamy may be the predominant guise humanity has labelled, but our genetic ancestries prove it is far from what our actual behaviors suggest.

When sexual intimacy is an established part of a relationship, and one party unilaterally decides it is no longer worth pursuing or regaining despite the other's needs how is that not betraying the trust of someone you claim to love? There was a time I thought all cheaters were selfish by nature but experience has shown me a lot of that is actually reclamation of self instead of selfishness.

First part... Horseshit. Having urges and acting upon are very different things. There have been times when I wanted to physically harm somebody, but didn't. Does that mean we're all predisposed to assault one another? No.

Second part... Also horseshit. If your partner had an accident and was unable to perform some task, does that mean they are "betraying" you and the relationship? Of course not. That's a stupid way of looking at it. As people age, their bodies change. Many times, they have little or no control over it... Especially, if they are uncomfortable with the idea of using medications. And it would be ridiculously selfish to decide to have a one night stand behind their backs. Grow up

 

[socalfreak]

I'm not advocating random one-night stands. A steady fuck buddy, when the wife or hubby you love has zero sex drive and zero desire to work on it, is harmless if its kept discreet. Far more harmless than breaking up the family. Not budging on that one. In fact most marriages become even more harmonious when the unsatisfied partner gets his or her needs met elsewhere.

Monogamy is not natural. Its learned (begrudgingly) and has only really been practiced for the past 1000 yrs. And in most cases its a facade. My FB inbox tells the tale. Married women posting "Sunday Funday!! Love my hubby and kids!" pics. Then meanwhile during the week sending me raunchy messages titty pics ass pics etc and drunk messages from the bar on Fri-Sat nights wanting to come fuck me.

In large part the idea of modern monogamy is due to govt social engineering. Tax breaks for having kids, the threat of alimony child support etc.

Only 3-5% of mammals (including humans) are monogamous. Google it.

Are Humans Meant to Be Monogamous? | Live Science

As for porn, ok. take the average married Joe and put him in a room with his fave pornstar. Lets see how monogamous he is. If monogamy was natural guys wouldnt even look at porn.

The post very clearly says "one night stand". Thanks for wasting our time.

Your FB inbox and the behavior of hamsters and rabbits is the standard you're using to demonstrate the average human? Good luck with that.

Like I said, porn is fantasy. Actions are much different.
Just because you can't control your adolescent urges like an adult doesn't mean nobody else can.

 

[MilfBanger78]

The post very clearly says "one night stand". Thanks for wasting our time.

Your FB inbox and the behavior of hamsters and rabbits is the standard you're using to demonstrate the average human? Good luck with that.

Like I said, porn is fantasy. Actions are much different.
Just because you can't control your adolescent urges like an adult doesn't mean nobody else can.

Adolescent urges? For fucks sake I'm 42. Its called accepting reality. I looked at your page now things make more sense, your wife dwarfs you and would beat the fuck out of you if you strayed so now I see why you pull the white knight card lol.

 

[Hatt_101]

Exactly. Some people cant process the idea that you can have sexual desire for someone without love. A discreet fuck buddy while in a sexless marriage does no harm compared to a messy divorce breaking up the family after decades together. etc, if every other factor in the relationship is fine. Discreet being the key word. No harm, no foul.

That is what open relationships are for, non monogamous and poly relationship exist I said that in the beginning. There is absolutely no reason to cheat if you can talk about the types of relationships you can have with someone.

 

[MilfBanger78]

That is what open relationships are for, non monogamous and poly relationship exist I said that in the beginning. There is absolutely no reason to cheat if you can talk about the types of relationships you can have with someone.

Thats fine but if the chick decides to change the rules 2+ decades in, then what? lol Just accept it?! "Oh well guess no more pussy for me! Divorce time, here's half my assets lol" Fuck that shit.

 

[socalfreak]

Adolescent urges? For fucks sake I'm 42. Its called accepting reality. I looked at your page now things make more sense, your wife dwarfs you and would beat the fuck out of you if you strayed so now I see why you pull the white knight card lol.

LMAO
Riiiiight.....
*That's* the reason I do the right thing & you are on the hunt for "Jack buddies". Hahahahaha

 

[Hatt_101]

Thats fine but if the chick decides to change the rules 2+ decades in, then what? lol Just accept it?! "Oh well guess no more pussy for me! Divorce time, here's half my assets lol" Fuck that shit.

Who says you have to divorce talk about having an open relationship how is it so hard to do that.

 

[MilfBanger78]

Who says you have to divorce talk about having an open relationship how is it so hard to do that.

Yeah good luck with that. If the wife wont even bang the hubby you think shes gonna be cool with him banging other chicks? Some women just close up shop at a certain age,no sex drive, zip zero nada. why is that so hard to understand? Once you've exhausted all other avenues talking with her, whats left to do? Either divorce or just do your own thing on the side.

 

[Hatt_101]

Yeah good luck with that. If the wife wont even bang the hubby you think shes gonna be cool with him banging other chicks? Some women just close up shop at a certain age,no sex drive, zip zero nada. why is that so hard to understand? Once you've exhausted all other avenues talking with her, whats left to do? Either divorce or just do your own thing on the side.

Complete myth about women just shutting down. If anything womens sex drive increases as the get older. Men are the ones that lower their libido.
If you married a woman that was sexually incompatible with you that's your fault. People do not magically change out of no where barring something traumatic happening.
Cheating will never be the answer. Talking things out is always the way forward whether or not it results in the end of the relationship. You're 42 if you can't have a conversation with someone you've known for years and would rather cheat on them, that's on you because they will find out. And things will only get worse from there

 

[bigbucky]

no, and I have had many opportunities over the years. it's really not worth all the hurt caused by one night of sexual satisfaction.

 

[KittenMe]

never

 

[MilfBanger78]

Complete myth about women just shutting down. If anything womens sex drive increases as the get older. Men are the ones that lower their libido.
If you married a woman that was sexually incompatible with you that's your fault. People do not magically change out of no where barring something traumatic happening.
Cheating will never be the answer. Talking things out is always the way forward whether or not it results in the end of the relationship. You're 42 if you can't have a conversation with someone you've known for years and would rather cheat on them, that's on you because they will find out. And things will only get worse from there

Wasnt referring to myself. Trust me if i was in a relationship that long, the convo would happen quick fast and in a hurry. Any female I date knows about my sex drive right from the beginning, I make it very clear that Im a swinger and do porn cams etc,. but my point is, with a dude in his 50s thats been with his wife for decades, the convos DO take place, and it goes nowhere. You're distorting my point. And I'm talking menopause here. Not some flash in the pan 2-3 yr relationship. Dude I live in FL for 20+ yrs now, trust me I've been with plenty of post-meno women. It's a flip of the coin. I've heard from them how their sex drive went up after menopause, while telling me how their friends completely lose all desire. They'd rather do yard sales and collect cats. And Ive worked for guys in their 50s and 60s, had gym friends of that age range etc here in FL and its their #1 complaint. So a 55 yr old hubby in that situation is left with 3 options... #1 resign himself to a sexless life so he can be the "good guy", #2 divorce and throw the family and finances into upheaval, or #3 get some ass on the side. Bottom line end of story

Mens libido generally doesnt go down. Their ability to perform goes down. Women post-meno, like I said, its a coin toss.

 

[Hatt_101]

Wasnt referring to myself. Trust me if i was in a relationship that long, the convo would happen quick fast and in a hurry. Any female I date knows about my sex drive right from the beginning, I make it very clear that Im a swinger and do porn cams etc,. but my point is, with a dude in his 50s thats been with his wife for decades, the convos DO take place, and it goes nowhere. You're distorting my point. And I'm talking menopause here. Not some flash in the pan 2-3 yr relationship. Dude I live in FL for 20+ yrs now, trust me I've been with plenty of post-meno women. It's a flip of the coin. I've heard from them how their sex drive went up after menopause, while telling me how their friends completely lose all desire. They'd rather do yard sales and collect cats. And Ive worked for guys in their 50s and 60s, had gym friends of that age range etc here in FL and its their #1 complaint. So a 55 yr old hubby in that situation is left with 3 options... #1 resign himself to a sexless life so he can be the "good guy", #2 divorce and throw the family and finances into upheaval, or #3 get some ass on the side. Bottom line end of story

Mens libido generally doesnt go down. Their ability to perform goes down. Women post-meno, like I said, its a coin toss.

What makes you think a guy in their 50s wouldn't have the exact same convo with their partners as you have with yours. You're only a bit younger why would they do the exact same thing you did? Having that type of conversation in the beginning would erase that possiblity or at the very least lower the chances of incompatibility. And on the off chance that things change they came have another conversation because that would be how their relationship was based. And it wouldn't be a suprise issue.

There are only two options after that the relationship changes to help compromise both people or they separate. Cheating is not an option because that would only make things even worse.

 

[MKey]

Yes.

 

[ss7979]

When I tried to be monogamous, I did all the time. I was a trainer and a bouncer and I couldn’t say no. I gave that up after a few failed relationships. I need pussy more than I need love.