Conversation 101

[695092]

So, I don't know if this will help me at all as it's mainly practice based buuuut:

How do I get better at talking/ communicating and holding conversation?

I've always been shy and quiet and verrry awkward and honestly don't know what to say or how to converse with others.

Do you believe this is something that can be taught/ learned? Do you know anyone that has went from ultra shy and awkward to outgoing and confident?

Sorry if this is a stupid thread, but any tips would be greatly appreciated!

 

[AlteredEgo]

Go out, try your best, and have whatever conversations you have. Go home. Replay the worst ones while in front of a mirror. Practice all those ideas that always come to you later when the pressure is off. Reply the chat with all the responses you wish you had made. Say the things you wish you said. Practice over and over. Maybe you're very active and a quick study and the process takes only a gew days before your first conversation that you feel went well. Maybe you need months or years. Practice and it will be eventually instead of never. While in the mirror, check your body language. No crossed arms unless you cross them ironically as part of a joke. Appear cool and relaxed. Just practice every day when you get home until the things you practice alone become the things you do in public.

Like yourself. If you don't, no one else will either. So, in addition to your instant replay practice at home, look into correcting things you don't like about yourself. If it is something superficial and unchangeable, build a bridge and get over it.

 

[950483]

So, I don't know if this will help me at all as it's mainly practice based buuuut:

How do I get better at talking/ communicating and holding conversation?

I've always been shy and quiet and verrry awkward and honestly don't know what to say or how to converse with others.

Do you believe this is something that can be taught/ learned? Do you know anyone that has went from ultra shy and awkward to outgoing and confident?

Sorry if this is a stupid thread, but any tips would be greatly appreciated!

Have you always been shy and awkward throughout your whole childhood?, or were there times when you didn't worry so much? Do you still feel shy when interacting with other people who are also shy?
I have overcome shyness or social anxiety, and I would say that my social skills are now probably slightly better than the average person.You can change, and become confident, and learn social skills. AlteredEgo has given very good advice, but if you are the kind of person who is inclined to focus on the negative, then it may be unhelpful to rake over any failures and replay them in your mind too much. Focus more on the positive. A good start would be to befriend other shy people, as you can learn just as much from them as you can from more confident and outgoing people. Anxiety in general can be helped considerably by really putting some effort into doing enough exercise, this alters your brain chemicals and your general outlook on life without you even having to put in any of the hard work needed to learn social skills.

 

[AlteredEgo]

AlteredEgo has given very good advice, but if you are the kind of person who is inclined to focus on the negative, then it may be unhelpful to rake over any failures and replay them in your mind too much.

This is a very good point which had not occurred to me. I was very shy and bullied as a wee me, but I have always been very optimistic and generally feel better when I improve my understanding of a problem and come up with solutions. That's why this method worked for me. That's why this method was instinctive for me. I could see how it would be harmful to the wrong personality.

 

[rtg]

So, I don't know if this will help me at all as it's mainly practice based buuuut:

How do I get better at talking/ communicating and holding conversation?

I've always been shy and quiet and verrry awkward and honestly don't know what to say or how to converse with others.

Do you believe this is something that can be taught/ learned? Do you know anyone that has went from ultra shy and awkward to outgoing and confident?

Sorry if this is a stupid thread, but any tips would be greatly appreciated!

I'm in exactly the same boat as you!!!

 

[nailz]

Practice having conversations with totally random people.
Make a resolution that every single day you will talk to at least one random person. Even if it's just to ask them the time, or ask the cashier if it's been a long day. Pay someone a random non-sexual compliment.

Communication is a skill that can be practiced and mastered just like anything else. The best thing for you to do is practice. Once you see that most people you talk to aren't going to bite your head off you'll start to gain confidence and will be more likely to interact with people.

Just be aware that no matter how confident they may seem, everyone feels embarrassed, has moments of anxiety, feelings of inadequacy, failure, etc sometimes. You can either dwell on them and let them cripple you socially or realize that they are completely normal and just move past them and focus on the positive.

 

[C41ara]

Just be natural: it's the most obvious but best and real advice i can give you. I've never met someone who's not embaressed at first talk, included me, so just try to relaxed and not act like someone else.

Maybe, just a personal tip: I like very much eye contact, so maybe you can practice that aspect, try to not look down when to talk to someone

 

[695092]

Thanks Ladies!

I have gotten better over the years but I'm still fairly awkward and lack confidence, in which I know how paramount confidence is in every aspect!

 

[AlteredEgo]

Thanks Ladies!

I have gotten better over the years but I'm still fairly awkward and lack confidence, in which I know how paramount confidence is in every aspect!

Fake it.

 

[MickeyLee]

yeah, i am just gonna follow Ms. Altered around typing "what she said"
same with The Swoon... they give solid advise