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Why the hell do so many people think and act like they are too damn busy to date...when you check their postings on social media it is hourly and then check how often they log into the dating site it is hourly...what a load of BS

I am so glad that I am married for 9 years and been together for 15 years...
 
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cherryboom66 said:
Is there a question here? I don’t get it. What is this.
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Reading is essential...the first sentence poses a question

Why the hell do so many people think and act like they are too damn busy to date??

Then you check their postings on social media it is hourly and then check how often they log into the dating site it is hourly...what a load of BS
 
WashandDry said:
Reading is essential...the first sentence poses a question

Why the hell do so many people think and act like they are too damn busy to date??

Then you check their postings on social media it is hourly and then check how often they log into the dating site it is hourly...what a load of BS
Click to expand...
When you add the WHY THE HELL and a lot of crazy ramblings it looks more like a rant. It was a ranting monologue. You’ve been with someone for 15 years, I don’t understand why you care. Still confused here.
 
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WashandDry said:
Why the hell do so many people think and act like they are too damn busy to date...when you check their postings on social media it is hourly and then check how often they log into the dating site it is hourly...what a load of BS

I am so glad that I am married for 9 years and been together for 15 years...
Click to expand...
Ahh I’m so glad you have realised this. I “met” some guy on a dating app almost 2 months ago he was always “too busy” to go on a date. Sometimes he was “too busy” to even talk but he would still be on the dating app....

The douche bag still messages me every now and then. I’m not one for games, but this guy fucked me around so much and then blames it on me, that I have no aversion to it in this case. We were supposed to meet up a week after we started talking.... and he bailed on me. Every time I call him out he says “let’s just leave it then” and then will send me texts trying to guilt trip and gaslight me.

Now when he texts me I pretend I still want to see him and give him short responses and he ends up digging himself into a hole. But apparently now an actual date is too much.... I’m expected to just rock up to his house with out even meeting him before. Uh... no thanks.

Here’s an exhibit from the weekend. He also just sent me a text saying “I want to do a date”. Pffffft what a waste of space.

ETA: screen shots are out of order, switch 2 and 3 around. You’re lucky you don’t have to deal with this BS :)
 

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If I ever find myself single again I will turn into a crazy cat lady. I would not even know how to start dating in this day and age.

I have no idea what swipe right even means.
 
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EllieP said:
If I ever find myself single again I will turn into a crazy cat lady. I would not even know how to start dating in this day and age.

I have no idea what swipe right even means.
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Swipe right means, “right on, baby, I’d do you!” Left swipe means “I’ve left you behind”
 
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Dating takes a lot of time. I'm a single father. I have a full time job. I am constantly anemic due to a genetic disease. My free time is very valuable to me. This is what I would mean if I were to say, "I'm too busy for dating."

I gave up on using online dating apps months ago. I've been single since 2016 and have dated a few times but they were consistently big wastes of time when they were from online dating apps/sites. It was consistently people lying about who they were, insisting they were looking for something "real" and then revealing that what they actually wanted was to get laid and/or have a kid ASAP (comes with the territory in your late 30s, I guess)... or both. You think people are wasting time on social media, you should see how much time dating apps waste.

That's basically what it comes down to. I'd rather spend that valuable spare time on hobbies and if those hobbies lead to me meeting someone to date, then I'm happy with that. If not, then so be it.

And, I mean, if people want to be screwing around on their phones, on social media, or on forums about having a big ding dong then whatever, what's wrong with that? Maybe they prefer that to the random whims of dating apps.

As for the world outside the apps, in my situation if someone says they're busy, I take it at face value and move on. I had a date planned a couple weeks ago, and she cancelled our dinner plan and turned it into a lunch plan, then cancelled that. And I said okie-doke and moved on. Because frankly, I'm thankful she didn't waste my time if she has such a poor ability to commit and/or make time for even a quick dinner date.

cherryboom66 said:
When you add the WHY THE HELL and a lot of crazy ramblings it looks more like a rant. It was a ranting monologue. You’ve been with someone for 15 years, I don’t understand why you care. Still confused here.
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I too found the whole final sentence about being married for 9 years confusing and I'm not sure where this question is coming from. I guess maybe they're in an open relationship or something, who knows. Maybe it's someone with an unusual abundance of free time. :joy:
 
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I don't do dating apps or sites. I just don't trust it.
 
if you are truly focusing on bettering your life in any aspect then you are "too busy" to date. people are complex creatures and sometimes you don't need that distraction in your life. you're busy doing you and don't have time for dating drama (yes, it exists) or people drama.

there was a period of a couple of years in my late 20s and early 30s where i did not date at all let alone look at women. i was too focused on myself, my career, and my life. the last thing i wanted was another person in my life who could make an emotional impact on my drive and direction. it just wasn't very high on my priority list.
 
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Well for starters, not too busy to date. Have had a few dates in the past couple of years. Nothing came to be with either of those dates. I just don't care to date quite frankly. I refuse to give my time and energy to ungrateful people who won't reciprocate. My time is valuable. I am worthy of so much more. So I move on and enjoy myself.

Happy that you are with someone for all those years. So awesome. Dating in this day and age is the pits, so I'm good with that..
 
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rtg said:
Ahh I’m so glad you have realised this. I “met” some guy on a dating app almost 2 months ago he was always “too busy” to go on a date. Sometimes he was “too busy” to even talk but he would still be on the dating app....

The douche bag still messages me every now and then. I’m not one for games, but this guy fucked me around so much and then blames it on me, that I have no aversion to it in this case. We were supposed to meet up a week after we started talking.... and he bailed on me. Every time I call him out he says “let’s just leave it then” and then will send me texts trying to guilt trip and gaslight me.

Now when he texts me I pretend I still want to see him and give him short responses and he ends up digging himself into a hole. But apparently now an actual date is too much.... I’m expected to just rock up to his house with out even meeting him before. Uh... no thanks.

Here’s an exhibit from the weekend. He also just sent me a text saying “I want to do a date”. Pffffft what a waste of space.

ETA: screen shots are out of order, switch 2 and 3 around. You’re lucky you don’t have to deal with this BS :)
Click to expand...


Having been in a relationship for 12 years, I romanticise the idea of dating from time to time, but after reading that chat, I’m staying put.
 
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I don't do dating apps or sites. I just don't trust it.
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I understand you, because I was the same in the past, but my friends changed my opinion about dating sites and apps.
Actually I have a short story about one dating site and how I met there my wife.
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Talking about dating sites, let me tell you that short story. 11 years ago I was shy and unsure in myself, but once someone gave me advice to start using dating apps to gain self-confidence, so I did it and it really helped me a lot, that's why I started using adult dating sites, where I met my wife. There are some reasons I used this site :https://shagbook.com, the main - it's free, also it's simple and it has all what you need, I mean all the information like what she or he is seeking.
 
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