Dealing w/Threesomes

[Explorer]

Hi everyone.

I've been in a relationship with this young guy for a year now. He's 19 and I'm 36. When we first hooked up it was just a fuck buddy thing, but as we started seeing each other on the regular, I'm talking 4-6 days a week, it developed into a relationship.

Prior to meeting him I had hooked up with another young guy who was cool but he wasn't anyone I would have been serious about. About 2 months after being with my bf, my bf wanted to try a threesome. I understood cause he's young and wanted to experience what it was like. So I invited the other dude over, when we got started there was lots of rimming, sucking, etc... Then my bf who's a vers bottom told the dude to fuck him. The guy clearly and even said he wanted to be fucked and not fuck, but, he did and my man and I really enjoyed ourselves.

A few months later while my bf was at my house, he wanted to get his top on... So since I only top I told him I would be cool with finding a bottom so he could do his thing. But he was to top only! We agreed that only I would top him. So he got on my pc and signed on to ManHunt and hooked up with this young guy and invited him over for a get together. The guy basically said he was strictly a bottom and didn't wanna top.

When the guy arrived we talked for a few then we all started getting it on. When the guy's undies came off he was HUGE... I mean he had to be atleast 9 but was thick as hell. My bf looked at me and both of us was like "WOW"... So the three of us are doing our thing and the next thing you know my bf tells the guy to fuck him. The guy gets ready to mount my bf and I'm looking at my bf shaking my head telling him no cause thats not what we agreed to. My bf totally was ignoring me. So I said to the guy, "thanks for coming but its a wrap for the night". Of course my bf and I got into an agrument, I told him to get out cause he kept threatening he'd leave, blah blah blah... I went out after him and he eventually came back to my place and we had some of the best makeup sex we've ever had.

My question for you guys is, has any one/couple every been in a situation like that but went through with the hookup? How did the situation/your relationship pan out after?

In case if anyone is wondering our relationship is stronger now then ever. He's basically moved in with me and we haven't had or mentioned a threesome since. We have a solid relationship and def keep the sex life spiced up. Hell if I smile at somebody he freaks out, lol...

Thanks

 

[nudeyorker]

When my partner have done this this we have clearly defined outlines and it is explained clearly to the third (or fourth)! There has never been situation where the agreement was broken, but if it does... the party is over. I think in order for these sorts of things to work everyone has to be on the same page to what is and is not going to happen!

 

[D_Carroll Condomripper]

Jeez let the kid have his fun!

 

[parkavepussy]

If you're playing around with others what does it matter who tops and who bttms?

 

[D_Suckleberry Hound]

in threesomes i have had, both before being married and with my wife, there have never been any rules

 

[D_Jerry_Atric]

If you want rules or boundaries for the 3 way that you both set up and agree upon either make sure your BF sticks with them and that he respects and cares for you enough to stick to them, either do not have them at all with him, or find someone who is OK with having rules or boundaries for 3 ways and who agrees to stick with them.

 

[B_thickjohnny]

My BF of three years asked about doing a three way and I said he'd have to arrange it because I'm not interested because I don't want to be the one to get something going and later have him blame me for problems in our relationship. Nothing happened. The problem I see is that BF is only a top. He's tried being a bottom but doesn't like it - he says. Sometimes I think he's met someone when he's away visiting his folks and I'm not around. When we're in bed his hole feels a bit more stretched and if you NEVER bottom you know an ass would be tight, even for a finger. Plus he complains that I'm too big for him and it's uncomfortable. He thinks that we can find a bottom so I can have some top fun, which I miss from time to time. But what would he do while I'm fuck some other guy? It's a very steep hill to try to navigate and personally I think it's best left alone.

 

[D_Andreas Sukov]

threesomes seem complicated. ive always wanted to try one but i mean, i dont want to do a stranger and doing it with a firned or my GFs friends would make things complicated. from what i hear, stay away from them unless you two are devoted to eachother.

 

[B_doc23cm]

I think that once you agree to having your partner fuck someone else with you, all the bets are pretty much off - it's his arse, and it's up to him what and who he lets in there, not you.

 

[TopDudeFtl]

When you are in a relationship & you expand your boundaries together, you must have rules. If you & a fuck-buddy want to bring someone else into the picture; anything goes.

If you are in a relationship & set rules; you stick with them. If one person doesn't want to follow the rules; all bets are off.

My boy & I have set rules in the past for different things & for the most past there haven't been any issues. When there was a rule broken, there were consequences.

I'm glad to see that you were open to this experience with him. I'm also glad to see that you have worked it out together.

Make up sex is awesome. :biggrin1:

 

[spunkyboy2008]

Don't you think you're being a bit selfish? I know where you're coming from because I have the same feeling with my bf, but I still think it is a quite selfish not to want him to get fucked by another guy in a threesome.

I think maybe if you are uncomfortable about him getting fucked by another guy in a threesome then you shouldn't do threesomes.

 

[jdenn4]

See with me any my bf when we do this, its what ever is clever as long as the attention is shared, The only time I have had an issue is when my boyfriend used to be a total top, and than suddenly in a 3 some bottoms for some one else who is bigger than me, im only 7 and not that thick, yet he btms for an 8" thick guy that drives me nutts but its just cause he would do something for some one else not me. now if he btms for me (which is rare cause i am 90% btm my self) than i could care less.

 

[Explorer]

Thanks everyone for the your insight. Like thickjohnny wrote, "Sometimes I think he's met someone when he's away visiting his folks and I'm not around. When we're in bed his hole feels a bit more stretched and if you NEVER bottom you know an ass would be tight, even for a finger", sometimes I feel like he is out there doing his thing but when I say something he gets very upset and tells me I don't trust him. I do trust him but when we first met he was new to this and seemed like he wanted to hook up with other people all the time. Just so happened that events happened and he realized that I was there for him and we grow closer together and he actually took the initiative for us to be a couple. He's told me on numerous occassions that he's not letting me go but I need to trust him more, maybe I do...

And no spunkyboy2008 I don't think I'm being selfish cause we agreed that he would top and not bottom for anyone other then me. I've tried but it's not for me.

 

[voyeuristic]

I had a tricky situation come up this weekend. My boyfriend and I are in an open relationship. He has a M/F couple he's been involved with for several years on a friendly but somewhat casual basis. The male of the couple has a sub for whom he arranged a gangbang. My bf wanted to participate, but I told him that it wasn't something that I felt comfortable with. Even though the sub and the guys participating had test results and condoms were going to be used for all penetration, I didn't think the risk level was worth it for someone my bf had no feelings for and had never even met prior. We compromised by deciding that he could be there as a voyeur, with no participation. After the event, he told me that he "held" the woman while she came with another guy. He says there was no genital contact, and he's honest enough that I'm sure he would tell me if there was. Even though my physical safety wasn't compromised, I feel like he crossed my boundaries by touching her during that intimate moment. He admits that he knew his actions were "borderline", but didn't feel like he had explicitly violated the rules I set forth. To me, this feels like a case of "letter of the law" vs. "spirit of the law". Yes, during an earlier discussion of sexual boundaries I'd agreed that if he were on a date, cuddling and kissing were always on the table but anything else would require discussion with/clearance from me. He felt that this situation constituted "cuddling", whereas I seriously disagree with that definition. In my mind, cuddling is something you do on the couch while you're watching a movie...usually fully clothed! I told him that in the future, I'd rather set fewer boundaries and have him respect the ones I've set than have restrictive ones that end up getting violated. He feels like this was a really special circumstance, but I realize that in sexual/romantic situation, every situation can feel like an exception.