Straight guys will recognize this situation right off the bat. You get to know a girl, think she's hot. You chat her up, pay attention to her, make efforts to get to know her, and then when you make a romantic move.... "Oops, sorry. Let's be just friends." Somewhere between when you first saw her and when you decided to ask her out or try to kiss her, she decided you weren't boyfriend material and relegated you to the, just friends pile. Now when she decides to date jerks, she will use your shoulder to cry on. When she needs to change clothes, she won't think twice about doing it in front of you. When she wants to go out, she'll ask you to come meet her humorous friend with the mentioned, great personality and the unmentioned not-so-slight weight and facial hair problem. It seems there's a window of opportunity where you have to move in for the job of boyfriend or face becoming a friend with less chance of sleeping with her than the pope. Does this happen with gay men too? In your experience. You meet a guy, think he's great, want him for a boyfriend, not just a fuck. Is there the same window of opportunity where it can go either way before the relationship ends-up in terminal friendship rather than romance? How do you know when the line is crossed or how long the window is open for? Is it fuck first then date? Is it romance first? What do you believe, as a gay or bi man, constitutes romance? Would you romantically consider someone you picked-up just to fuck? Remember, the goal of the pairing is to get a boyfriend, not just a fuck buddy.