Do guys ever hookup and still consider themselves straight?

[554279]

I think of age as a simple number. Age does not automatically equate experience. Some younger folk have more valuable experience than other older folk. I dated a guy for 2 weeks who is 8 years my senior. However, when we met he had just come out of the closet. I on the other hand, had been out of the closet for about 9 years. I definitely had a more sophisticated understanding of myself than he.

Life is a journey; the term "process" I would say is quite similar in meaning here. The destination is not the focus of life because almost nothing about life is concrete. By the time you actually REACH that destination you had in mind, it most likely would have changed meaning. Such an understanding can therefore be quite chaotic, typically meaning an unsatisfactory experience for those involved.
Take for example the man who focuses on nothing else but becoming king (i.e. the destination). By the time he reaches it, the position becomes meaningless and he jaded; he realizes the steps he took to get there (i.e. the journey) were not steps he enjoyed partaking. Now he understands how he wasted most of his life as a result.

While peoples' feelings are not science projects, they do require some level of analysis. The end game of the analysis I put myself through is to understand human sexuality and how it functions to bind us all together. Also, I thoroughly enjoy the process of analysis, which is why you see coordinating what analysis I HAVE done here, and else where.

Personally, I entirely reject the idea of gay versus straight on any and all levels (including the "spectrum" idea). We are not maturing into becoming "mostly straight" or "mostly gay". These concepts apply to the sex and relationships we experience NOT the human identity each individual has. The values we as individuals hold most dear may express themselves most strongly in a person we would not initially consider attractive whatsoever. It is through our connection with these specific people that our attraction to them becomes clear. This applies to ALL humans; not just the males and females. Thus I believe it's perfectly possible for someone who grew up feeling sexually aroused only by females may end up romantically partnered with a male. It is too easy to confuse the simplicity of a sexual experience (homosexual or heterosexual) with the complexity of human connection and identity (bisexual, pansexual, asexual, multisexual, aromantic, etc).

I enjoy this topic so much I have highly considered turning it into something more professional. I'm not ready to step in the professional side of my life yet though; I am too young. I will admit I am still building onto the understanding I already posses. It's fascinating! Also, to emphasize my point about age as just a number, there is nothing wrong with continuing to build one's understanding of sexuality even into old age. Life is a journey damn it! It doesn't stop until we are dead, and even that is questionable; no one knows for sure what happens afterward. At least, no one I've had the pleasure to talk about it!

So, having said all of that and based on my previous reading of your posts, do you feel that you are more straight than gay, more gay than straight or perhaps bi?

The point of my question to you is based on my perception of your comments I am assuming you would classify your self as not straight, yet you have opted to climb on the soap box in the Ask a Straight Man thread.

Have a nice day smac.

 

[Talldreads]

It baffles me....
The number of ways this same question keeps being asked. As if changing a few words will make it different....

I have to agree with you on this NC_BBC, as this question is becoming quite tired. While I don't label my sexuality as straight, gay, bi or otherwise, I have to say it's questions like these leads to what most straight men already believe about gay men: that they are only interested in trying to have gay sex with them.

While there is nothing wrong with fantasizing about straight men or even asking these types of questions and should feel/be free to express themselves, I believe if gay men want respect from heteros, then they need to respect a hetero's sexuality as it is and not try to get them to admit or do something that is not who they are by asking these types of repetitive questions and VICE VERSA.

If a straight guy chooses to disagree with or doesn't do what's being implied, then that's his prerogative, just as it's a gay man's prerogative to ask these questions or fantasize about what they think a straight man may do. What's needed in both examples is RESPECT for everyone's point of view/opinion/sexuality.

Many straight people respect my sexuality and feel comfortable around me because I respect them and don't try to fish for an opportunity to get into their pants, nor do ask them "what if" questions concerning the same sex. If something happens between me and a straight guy, then it's our business and I don't judge them one way or the other. Nor do I pester them by asking questions that may make them feel even more uneasy than they are probably already feeling, due to our experience.

For me, if a straight guy is curious and decides to experiment once or even often with members of the same sex and still call himself straight, who am I to judge his sexuality? A person's sexuality is PERSONAL and THEIRS alone, and not open for others to discussion unless he/she brings it up themselves.

Lastly, in my personal opinion, I believe a gay man should not do or say things to straight guys that would make them as a whole look bad or fall into a typical stereotype in the eyes of heteros, especially if we/they want to be respected like any other human being in this world. And the same goes for heteros too: straights shouldn't do or say things to a gay person that may make them look bad or fall into a specific stereotype.

Just my opinion. I am not attacking gays nor straights, but rather that people need to take care in what they ask/say to others as it may cause them to feel insulted and lead them to stereotype others unnecessarily.

 

[pcghabsy]

Huh? Are you serious? If a straight guy hooks up with another guy, he's not straight.

Yes. As others have pointed out, this question keeps getting asked too often. It's simple common sense. If you have sex with women exclusively, you are straight. If you have sex with both men and women, you are bi. If you have sex with men exclusively, you are gay. Simple as that. Of course, in terms of bi, you can have preference this way or the other. But straight = sex with the opposite sex exclusively.

 

[NIMBUS]

Yes. As others have pointed out, this question keeps getting asked too often. It's simple common sense. If you have sex with women exclusively, you are straight. If you have sex with both men and women, you are bi. If you have sex with men exclusively, you are gay. Simple as that. Of course, in terms of bi, you can have preference this way or the other. But straight = sex with the opposite sex exclusively.

Define what YOU consider to be "having sex". Where do you draw the line between fooling around and having sex. Is it only when it becomes penetrative?

Different people have a different perception on where the line is drawn and therefore where the straight/bi/gay boundaries are.

 

[554279]

Have to agree this whole line is old and tiresome.

Maybe we should all make an end run on the Ask A Gay Man thread if they would like to eat pussy, or under what circumstances would you let a chick suck your cock, have you ever thought about having glory hole anal sex with a woman,....get the idea

No we would probably all be warned or banned, bad idea.

 

[bicusdicus]

I have been in a few compromising situations in which a man was sucking my cock and I was making out with a woman. I don't know what you consider hooking up, but I have never and would never kiss a male on the mouth. I consider myself "straight" and I love when my body is getting attention.

 

[Smaccoms]

So, having said all of that and based on my previous reading of your posts, do you feel that you are more straight than gay, more gay than straight or perhaps bi?

The point of my question to you is based on my perception of your comments I am assuming you would classify your self as not straight, yet you have opted to climb on the soap box in the Ask a Straight Man thread.

Have a nice day smac.

I state my sexuality at the end of every post in my signature; I consider myself pansexual.

I might be changing it soon because I no longer consider myself gay whatsoever. The description is outdated.

However, I am running out of time at the moment.

 

[D_Miss_Demeanor]

Hmm. I can see a situation wherein a 'straight' guy isn't sexual attracted to other men, but just wants an outlet for his urges, just wants to fuck someone. Or be fucked.

I mean, most rapists in prison aren't gay, they just want to fuck.

Me personally, I'm not sexually attracted to other men(that is, I don't see a man's face or body and get turned on, like I do with women). But I'm fascinated with the penis, be that real or a dildo. And I'm not disgusted by the idea of having sex with a guy, like some non gay guys are.

I mean, my 10% is me perhaps being willing to consider a girlfriend wanting to bring another guy into the bedroom and have me get involved, which I'd do. And I'm also slightly interesting in experimenting with a guy, just once. But for all practical purposes I'm straight, I have no romantic interests in men, and for the most part do not find men sexually appealing apart for an interest in the phallus. I'd describe myself as straight because of that.

 

[554279]

I state my sexuality at the end of every post in my signature; I consider myself pansexual.

I might be changing it soon because I no longer consider myself gay whatsoever. The description is outdated.

However, I am running out of time at the moment.

Recommend you respond to posts in the Ask a Pansexual thread, as its pretty disingenuous to respond as Straight guy.

 

[Talldreads]

Hmm. I can see a situation wherein a 'straight' guy isn't sexual attracted to other men, but just wants an outlet for his urges, just wants to fuck someone. Or be fucked.

I mean, most rapists in prison aren't gay, they just want to fuck.

Me personally, I'm not sexually attracted to other men(that is, I don't see a man's face or body and get turned on, like I do with women). But I'm fascinated with the penis, be that real or a dildo. And I'm not disgusted by the idea of having sex with a guy, like some non gay guys are.

I mean, my 10% is me perhaps being willing to consider a girlfriend wanting to bring another guy into the bedroom and have me get involved, which I'd do. And I'm also slightly interesting in experimenting with a guy, just once. But for all practical purposes I'm straight, I have no romantic interests in men, and for the most part do not find men sexually appealing apart for an interest in the phallus. I'd describe myself as straight because of that.

This and a few other posts here mentioning where the straight poster may have had an experience with another guy AND STILL consider themselves straight because of their lack of physical attraction/romantic feelings towards members of the same sex proves this point in my previous posts in this and another topic:

http://www.lpsg.com/4627976-post25.html


"For me, if a straight guy is curious and decides to experiment once or even often with members of the same sex and still call himself straight, who am I to judge his sexuality? A person's sexuality is PERSONAL and THEIRS alone, and not open for others to discussion unless he/she brings it up themselves."

And this:

http://www.lpsg.com/4627891-post28.html


Straight men who never had a homosexual experience with another man may disagree with my or other's points of view (which is ok because it is YOUR opinion), but just consider there may be extenuating factors that may cause a straight guy to act out sexually with another man: drugs, money, curiosity, or just being caught up in the moment while being plain horny without a female. And just because these factors may sway a straight guy to have an intimate encounter with another man, it does not mean they are GAY. And we can agree to disagree, but I know this from experience.

 

[D_Furr_Muncher]

I am not physically attracted to men. I am not attracted to penises. However, I believe that I would be capable of fucking a man in the ass or getting sucked off by one without losing my erection. I call myself 'bi' because of this, but really I'm straight. I'm just capable of admitting that when I've got an erection, a hole is a hole.

 

[Talldreads]

I am not physically attracted to men. I am not attracted to penises. However, I believe that I would be capable of fucking a man in the ass or getting sucked off by one without losing my erection. I call myself 'bi' because of this, but really I'm straight. I'm just capable of admitting that when I've got an erection, a hole is a hole.

Thanks for your honesty, bro. Its refreshing to see that you are very comfortable discussing the different facets your sexual thoughts as a man, yet you don't let it infringe on the fact that you are still straight (at least in my opinion). I know many straight guys who also share the same point of view that you have. Thanks again.

 

[D_Chesty_Pecjiggle]

If a gay guy marries and has sex because he thinks that's what 'expected' of him, does make him bi?

If a straight guy gets a BJ from a guy, it's ok with me if he calls himself straight.

It's also ok with me if he says "I don't give a fuck about labels."

 

[NC_BBC]

If a gay guy marries and has sex because he thinks that's what 'expected' of him, does make him bi?

If a straight guy gets a BJ from a guy, it's ok with me if he calls himself straight.

It's also ok with me if he says "I don't give a fuck about labels."

Yes....any man, that lets another man give him a bj is AT LEAST bi. Period. No 2 ways around it.

Guys who "don't give a fuck about labels" are at least bi. Can people please just accept these few facts....

There are some guys WHO ONLY LIKE SEXUAL ACTS WITH WOMEN
(we call these men straight)

There are some guys WHO ONLY LIKE SEXUAL ACTS WITH MEN
(we call these men gay)

And there are some guys WHO ENJOY SEXUAL ACTS WITH BOTH SEXES
(we call these men bi)

That's ALL there is to it. It's not a hard concept to understand. So why keep attempting to blur the lines?

I feel like there's still a stigma behind being gay or bi, so gay and bi men who aren't man enough to just fucking admit it, keep trying to find ways to still "be straight"...

 

[jerkjameson]

Hmm. I can see a situation wherein a 'straight' guy isn't sexual attracted to other men, but just wants an outlet for his urges, just wants to fuck someone. Or be fucked.

I've been drunk before and felt the outlet need, then later thought, "what am I thinking?"

Me personally, I'm not sexually attracted to other men(that is, I don't see a man's face or body and get turned on, like I do with women). But I'm fascinated with the penis, be that real or a dildo. And I'm not disgusted by the idea of having sex with a guy, like some non gay guys are.

I'm not attracted to men, I like sensation though, never had anal sex, gf won't do it, I want to do it, where are the women that I can approach and ask if I can stick my cock in their ass?
Looks like if I want my anal sex bucket list checked, alternatives may be sought.

I mean, my 10% is me perhaps being willing to consider a girlfriend wanting to bring another guy into the bedroom and have me get involved, which I'd do.

If I got to fuck HIS girl, I'd work something out, if my mindset allowed it.

Sometimes, me at the age of 43, I find I am thinking more open mindedly, but I still consider myself straight, but I am a curious guy.

Maybe I should label myself 99% het 1% gay?

Now, a trans that looks like a women, that may make things much easier to enter the hetero taboo territory.

 

[NC_BBC]

Yes I have in high school
Hey if you put an orange in a bag of tomatoes
it doesn't make it a tomato

Coincidentally, if you put a cucumber in the a certain place for long enough it becomes a pickle.

 

[Smaccoms]

Yes I have in high school
Hey if you put an orange in a bag of tomatoes
it doesn't make it a tomato

Coincidentally, if you put a cucumber in the a certain place for long enough it becomes a pickle.

These statements are very telling, and work well. The first one is more of a "I'll explore and work to understand my relationship to non-straight sex, but I'd still prefer to maintain my straight identity. I.e., I like vacationing to Germany, but I'll always live in America."

The second one is more of a "I don't really care where my identity ends up, as long as I feel safe and am enjoying myself. I.e., if I enjoy other places THAT much, maybe I'll spend more time there and see what happens."

What's more interesting is that they both are about very similar topics, so indicate personality types as well. Very cool. I am going to withhold my opinion here still, because I do think that both approaches are legitimate, especially if it's still something new in a person's life. Life is a journey, so we should learn how to enjoy the journey rather than the destination. That definitely extends into exploring our sexualities from a more open-minded perspective such as these.

 

[NC_BBC]

These statements are very telling, and work well. The first one is more of a "I'll explore and work to understand my relationship to non-straight sex, but I'd still prefer to maintain my straight identity. I.e., I like vacationing to Germany, but I'll always live in America."

The second one is more of a "I don't really care where my identity ends up, as long as I feel safe and am enjoying myself. I.e., if I enjoy other places THAT much, maybe I'll spend more time there and see what happens."

What's more interesting is that they both are about very similar topics, so indicate personality types as well. Very cool. I am going to withhold my opinion here still, because I do think that both approaches are legitimate, especially if it's still something new in a person's life. Life is a journey, so we should learn how to enjoy the journey rather than the destination. That definitely extends into exploring our sexualities from a more open-minded perspective such as these.

I respect this.


But I don't get why THIS subject is open for debate so much. People need to either stop being pussies and just be who they are, or shut the fuck up and live in secrecy. I'm just tired of all the "how many gay things can a man do and still be straight" type threads. If you wanna fuck men, FUCK MEN....but quit pretending you're still "100% Straight". By clinical and technical definition YOU AREN'T.

A man fucks a man, likes it and continues fucking men = Gay

A man fucks women, but sometimes (or often) fucks men (for WHATEVER REASON short of having a gun to your head) = Bi

Race, Nationality, Ethnic identity...these are things that DON'T, CAN'T, and WON'T change.

But sexual preference...that is something that changes depending on the activities you engage in.

No, visiting France won't make me French...it CAN'T, even if I wanted it to, the best I could get is duel citizenship. But I'll ALWAYS be a native of America.

But fucking other men...makes you gay or bi...even if you used to be "straight". Straight means straight....not slightly bent, or curved, or almost straight enough to fool the naked eye....

Case and point... You CAN NOT be "straight" and fuck members of the same sex.... that would completely contradict the term Straight altogether.

 

[NC_BBC]

If the new definition of straight is "pretending to be heterosexual while harboring desires for or engaging in homosexual activities" then yes... gay and bi men can call themselves straight....

But then we have to make a new term for men who are EXCLUSIVELY attracted to and EXCLUSIVELY engage in sexual acts with WOMEN. Let's say we (straight men) start to call ourselves "100%-ers"...

How long before "in the closet" gay and bi guys start looking for ways to bend logic and definitions to still be considered 100%-ers?

Then would come the "When would a 100%-er let a guy blah blah blah" threads...and we'll end up with this same bullshit conversation....

 

[curious10243]

There are lots of men that have been straight their whole life, but would like to try an experience with another guy if the situation were just right. If they do, are they gay for life or just bold enough to try their fantasy once? Ther is more to being gay than one sexual experience.