Do you enjoy small talk?

[earllogjam]

How are you? Oh the weather is nice today isn't it. And how was your weekend? Oh I'm doing fine and yourself? I hope it doesn't rain tomorrow. Nice jacket you got there.

Just wondering what peoples opinion is concerning small talk.

I realize it's a way to get to know people and is a requirement of polite society but I have a very low tolerance for this much to the detriment of my social life I believe.

I find it exhausting and often have a very low threshold for this as it's hard for me to force interest or niceness. These conversations usually last about 1 or 2 minutes at most with acquaintances or people I meet. Are most of you the same or do you enjoy engaging in small talk?

 

[OhWiseOne]

I wouldn't say that I enjoy it but it is part of learning about someone and then hopefully the conversation expands beyond that. I attached an article that talks about it.
Making Small Talk - Big Deal About Small Talk: Susan RoAne

 

[Over-reaching]

I hope your Monday is going well. By the way, I downloaded some MP-3 files earlier today. I'm hoping it might be a bit warmer and more spring-like tomorrow, although if it's sunny the birdsong in the tree outside the bedroom window might wake us early. :tongue:

I don't mind small talk, although I would draw a distinction between small talk and (what I might call) petty talk, wherein the participants talk about equally inconsequential things but in such a way to belittle, poke fun at or complain about other people.

And of course small talk can lead on to larger things – mentioning the downloading of MP-3 files, for example, might set the grounds for a discussion about what the music was, how the performance might compare with others you might have heard of the same music, etc, etc: potentially educational and interesting stuff, in other words.

 

[LaFemme]

It's kind of a necessary evil, especially in my line of work. Generally, I'm able to find something meaningful to discuss within a very short time that makes the conversation more enjoyable. I'm lucky that I find most people interesting in some way, because if I was forced to chat about weather or traffic for more than a few minutes, I'd go mad.

Btw, why is it that when I look at your avatar, I think you're off to the loo? At a subconscious level, I don't want to stop you to talk cuz you might be in a hurry!

 

[D_Bob_Crotchitch]

It is just part of civility. It doesn't take long. You can do it while you are passing someone on the sidewalk. Good morning. Nice weather we're having today. Have a nice day.

 

[nudeyorker]

I think it has it's time and place. For me a little small talk with the person sitting next to you on a long flight or with people at a dinner or cocktail party is just fine and a little goes a long way. Hopefully we can find something more engaging to discuss but if not going over this weeks top news, movies, books and etc is not the end of the world to me.

 

[littlepenis]

I struggle with it, but not for the same reasons as the OP. My social and conversational skills are lacking and I find I have a hard time engaging in small talk, and wish I were better at it. General anxiety and fear of rejection make it difficult.

 

[deleted703704]

I realize it's a way to get to know people and is a requirement of polite society but I have a very low tolerance for this much to the detriment of my social life I believe.

Exactly My Feelings/Situation...

 

[earllogjam]

I just read the article that OWO linked. Quite insightful as the nature of small talk being an opening to deeper conversations or the necessary evil to eventually have "meaningful" conversations with people. She's also right about the parking in downtown Mill Valley.

"Go out, you'll never meet anybody sitting at home!" a quote from the article's mother.


Being honest, I think I shy away from small talk for the very reason that I will get to know people on a deeper level and what I fear is that they will discover that I really am a boring person.

And yes Femme, I am taking my newspaper into the loo... to read. Wise ass.

 

[LaFemme]

I just read the article that OWO linked. Quite insightful as the nature of small talk being an opening to deeper conversations or the necessary evil to eventually have "meaningful" conversations with people. She's also right about the parking in downtown Mill Valley.

"Go out, you'll never meet anybody sitting at home!" a quote from the article's mother.


Being honest, I think I shy away from small talk for the very reason that I will get to know people on a deeper level and what I fear is that they will discover that I really am a boring person.

And yes Femme, I am taking my newspaper into the loo... to read. Wise ass.

You might be boring (which I doubt), but you ask interesting questions. Anyway I am interesting enough for two! :biggrin1:

Besides, you *heart* me because I'm a wise ass!

 

[earllogjam]

I think it has it's time and place. For me a little small talk with the person sitting next to you on a long flight or with people at a dinner or cocktail party is just fine and a little goes a long way. Hopefully we can find something more engaging to discuss but if not going over this weeks top news, movies, books and etc is not the end of the world to me.

But you always have something interesting or smart to say. I'm just not wired that way.

 

[LisaMarie]

I agree with you Earl. It can definitely be exhausting. It's not so bad if I find the person/persons genuinely interesting. If I get stuck having to make small talk with a boring fuddy duddy, I can still usually do a decent job if I have to. But yes. Exhausting. Dun like it. Dont wanna.

 

[earllogjam]

You might be boring (which I doubt), but you ask interesting questions. Anyway I am interesting enough for two! :biggrin1:

Besides, you *heart* me because I'm a wise ass!

I think I *heart* you because you doubt that I'm boring. :biggrin1:

Sorry, no time for small talk, off to the loo! lol.

 

[Over-reaching]

I struggle with it, but not for the same reasons as the OP. My social and conversational skills are lacking and I find I have a hard time engaging in small talk, and wish I were better at it. General anxiety and fear of rejection make it difficult.

Well, most people (not all, but most) do enjoy talking about themselves, so if you can ask some relevant questions with suitable follow-up remarks, you'll find that you can't shut some people up once they've started. :smile:

 

[LaFemme]

I think I *heart* you because you doubt that I'm boring. :biggrin1:

Sorry, no time for small talk, off to the loo! lol.

I could talk to you through the door, but that might be a bit awkward for you....so later my maraschino cherry man! :kiss:

 

[Hand_Solo]

I only talk about serious shit.

 

[LaFemme]

I only talk about serious shit.

Where is the fainting smilie???

 

[OhWiseOne]

I could talk to you through the door, but that might be a bit awkward for you....so later my maraschino cherry man! :kiss:

Now that's just completely awkward. :tapedshut:

 

[Hand_Solo]

Where is the fainting smilie???

You mean in terms of Plato's allegory of the cave?

 

[earllogjam]

I could talk to you through the door, but that might be a bit awkward for you....so later my maraschino cherry man! :kiss:

Oh, I don't mind small talk behind the bathroom door sweetie...

Just don't ask me how it all came out.