Does an age difference really matter ?

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by uncutblond34, Dec 5, 2008.

  1. uncutblond34

    uncutblond34 Member

    Joined:
    Nov 7, 2005
    Messages:
    471
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    24
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Knoxville, TN
    Hi all... just need some feedback. Here's the story.... I made friends with a coworker who is 15 years younger than me ( he's 22, I'm 37 ). We started talking and found we had a surprising amount in common.. we flirted with each other any chance we got.. talk alot, laugh alot, and just REALLY enjoy each others company. He's very cute, VERY nicely built, great smile, nice personality, and sports a nice bulge to boot ! LOL !
    I, however, am rather average looking ( although he likes my bulge as well... hehehe ) but I'm really not what I'd call "the catch of the county". So he asked me out for coffee and dessert this evening. To all outward appearances, he had as good a time as I did. We had our coffee and sweets, laughed and talked alot... went for a drive looking at Christmas lights, parked down by the river and talked a bit more, and then it happened. He leaned over and kissed me ! So we made out quite passionately for awhile. For me, it was terribly exciting and rather romantic... the river, the moonlight, yada yada yada. It's been ages since I felt like someone found me that attractive.
    He wants to get together on Sunday and tour around and shoot some pictures * we're both into photography ) my question is... do y'all think age makes a big difference in a dating type relationship ? I always jokingly said that I wanted to date someone half my age, and BANG ! Here's Scotty ! Now I'm not quite sure what to do...LOL ! Should I just see where it goes, or what ? I like him ALOT... I don't want him to feel like the "rebound guy". as I'm just out of a 2 1/2 year relationship that was rather cold at the end, but he knows the whole story about it anyway, and he actually was the one persuing ME. What are your thoughts ?
     
  2. Principessa

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Nov 22, 2006
    Messages:
    19,494
    Likes Received:
    28
    Gender:
    Female
    See where it goes! Why on earth would you say no, when he's a nice guy. You said yourself you have other things in common such as photography. I'm 42 and my bf is 28, our age difference rarely comes up. I'm not sure if it's cause he's mature for his age or because I refuse to grow up. :tongue: So far, so good.
     
  3. LongandBigSub

    LongandBigSub New Member

    Joined:
    Sep 20, 2008
    Messages:
    45
    Likes Received:
    1
    Gender:
    Male
    No age doesn't make it a difference unless you give it your attention. It's sort of like a guy can be attractive, even if he has spinach between his teeth, when he talks. But if you keep on focusing on the spinach, and how gross it looks, well then it becomes an issue. So ignore the spinach, and you can ignore his age.
     
    #3 LongandBigSub, Dec 5, 2008
    Last edited: Dec 6, 2008
  4. B_WER25

    B_WER25 New Member

    Joined:
    Aug 12, 2008
    Messages:
    323
    Likes Received:
    5
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    United Estados
    Not at all! I have been on three dates with a woman who is 16 years older than me, I don't care at all!
     
  5. D_Harry_Krautch

    D_Harry_Krautch New Member

    Joined:
    Apr 29, 2008
    Messages:
    259
    Likes Received:
    5
    If there is chemistry, there is chemistry, no matter what your age or gender and race for that matter!!

    Age is only a number at the end of the day!

    Just enjoy it!! :)
     
  6. Mandee

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Nov 29, 2007
    Messages:
    4,435
    Likes Received:
    2
    No, I don't think the age difference matters in your case. You are both adults.


    My ex is 38 and I just turned 21. While we were dating we had an 18 year age difference. His dad picked on him for a while and said he was a perve, and my parents weren't really happy about it, but we loved each other and we were happy together... and that's all that matters.

    The guy I'm currently interested in is 35... so that's a 14 year difference.
     
  7. D_skeaflea

    D_skeaflea New Member

    Joined:
    Nov 26, 2008
    Messages:
    213
    Likes Received:
    0
    If you're both of legal age, and consenting. . .who cares?
     
  8. surferboy

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jan 12, 2005
    Messages:
    3,182
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    9
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Sunrise, Florida
    no, age shouldn't matter in a relationship. however, i'd be careful of dating a co-worker bruddah. i've never dated or slept with a co-worker (customers are a different story though...) but i've worked with peoples who have. it doesn't end well, and you hear a lot of whining. "i can't work with him!" "please don't schedule me with her!" it's even worse if one of the peoples is in management.

    anyways, be careful in a relationship with a co-worker, but age shouldn't matter if there's chemistry
     
  9. Principessa

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Nov 22, 2006
    Messages:
    19,494
    Likes Received:
    28
    Gender:
    Female
    Good point Surferboy, I forgot about the whole co-worker thing. You are right that rarely ends well.:frown1:
     
  10. sexplease

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Oct 23, 2006
    Messages:
    1,724
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    87
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Santa Monica CA
    Just enjoy the time you have together
     
  11. MarkLondon

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jun 11, 2008
    Messages:
    1,986
    Albums:
    4
    Likes Received:
    16
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    London, UK
    Well there's a huge difference between being a chicken-hawk (an older guy hooked on younger, which I find creepy) and happening to find yourself with an age-gap.

    I was always attracted to guys about 10 yrs older when I was in my twenties. Guys my own age seemed to be lacking in substance/maturity.

    More recently I've been finding the age-gap the other way round, but they are mature for their age, not silly young things.

    I've never gone for work-place relationships myself, but in the UK something between 1/3 and 1/2 of marriages are between people who met at work, so it works for some.

    If you fancy eachother, have interests in common and are relaxed together, who cares about the age-gap. Forget about that, it's less of an issue for gay men anyway. Historically male relationships were mostly between a younger and older man.
     
  12. uncutblond34

    uncutblond34 Member

    Joined:
    Nov 7, 2005
    Messages:
    471
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    24
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Knoxville, TN
    Thanks to all of you for your input ! I was leaning towards the "see where it goes" theory anyway, so you've convinced me I'm on the right track. As far as the workplace romance thing, I don't think it'll be a problem, we're in different departments and work different schedules most times, but you do have a very valid point. I'll keep y'all posted on how things are going.... tomorrow, we're going to go out and shoot some pictures of different things in the area. To bad the weather is so cold, he has a NICE motorcycle ! LOL ! Thanks again, y'all...
     
  13. Hellboy0

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Sep 1, 2007
    Messages:
    2,458
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    63
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    West Coast Australia
    Surfer and njqt are so right about this one. Good to keep work mates just that.

    But age should never be an issue, as long as everyone is legal!
     
  14. verycuriousblondie

    verycuriousblondie New Member

    Joined:
    Nov 29, 2008
    Messages:
    78
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    New York City
    I am 18 and would love to find a man 35-55 to be with, I think I would be treated better and I think they could teach me alot about sex better than a guy my age.
     
  15. exwhyzee

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jun 5, 2005
    Messages:
    4,578
    Likes Received:
    36
    Gender:
    Male
    Ok, all the thoughts here to-date are cool, but...

    I would be careful to avoid some of the pitfalls that you guys could find yourselves dealing with. Be aware of the daddy-son relationship, in which daddy controls son using money, experience, or living situation. If you guys are into that, then cool...but I have seen that it can sometimes build resentment among the controlled. Be aware of differing life-styles. Younger guys can still be sowing their wild oats while older guys might be ready to settle down. You could highlight opposing agendas if the younger partner wants to have a night out on the town with his buddies and the older partner wants to stay at home and watch a movie. Be aware of the remarks others might throw at you...a harsh word by age-mates of either partner can cause friction. Off handed remarks like "Are you father and son?" "What was the Civil War like?" and "How was school today?" can expose raw nerves if you aren't ready for them.

    You guys might not have any issues at all, and some of these situations might even be attractive to those in relationships that have large age differences. To be forewarned is to be forearmed, as they say. There can be challenges, but if you guys are both happy, there can be obvious rewards too.

    Best wishes! :cool:
     
  16. MarkLondon

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jun 11, 2008
    Messages:
    1,986
    Albums:
    4
    Likes Received:
    16
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    London, UK
    Hey, he's a biker as well? That's another plus!
     
  17. uncutblond34

    uncutblond34 Member

    Joined:
    Nov 7, 2005
    Messages:
    471
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    24
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Knoxville, TN
    Well, exwhysee... you bring a valid point..LOL ! My sister teasingly asked me if I need a booster seat ! LOL ! I'm not terribly worried about him sowing his oats. He's been "out and about" for some time, and like me, leads a rather quiet life. We both do some volunteer work, and do have quite a bit in common. I'm not thinking "LTR" at the moment... only time and the heart will dictate that. We're both thinking "cool new friend with benefits"... nothing too serious yet. God I can't wait for the benefits to kick in ! LOL ! I think that the difference in age could be good for us.... I'm into old cars and jazz and big band music ( I know, I sound like a fossil with that...) and he's interested, but doesn't really know much about them. He's into motorcycles and hiking and things that I'M interested in, but don't do often.... so I think it will work out good for us both. I may bring an amount of stability and reliability to his life, he may bring some excitement and activity to mine...... time will tell.
    Hellboy... he has an Indian, I believe.... NICE bike... can't wait to ride ! WOOHOO !!! He does normally drive a car, but has the bike for nice weather.....
     
  18. jason_els

    jason_els <img border="0" src="/images/badges/gold_member.gi

    Joined:
    Dec 16, 2004
    Messages:
    10,576
    Likes Received:
    25
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Warwick, NY, USA
    If this takes off, watch the work thing. Make sure you stay in separate departments and neither one of you ever has authority over the other. If you're both management, great. If you're both line, great. If onl either of you is one OR the other, be very careful. An Indian is an expensive bike for a man his age. Let's hope he didn't buy it with settlement money from a previous sexual harassment suit.

    Otherwise no. I've seen this combination work really well in gay relationships before and it can be immensely satisfying for both parties provided you remain open about every age-related concern you have and are both willing to accommodate the other about half the time.

    Keeping up with him... that's going to be a little tough. I suggest getting your butt to the gym every other day and do cardio every day. You'll need all the energy and strength you can muster. You want to be able to do things he enjoys as he does things you enjoy.
     
  19. D_BarryBunwarmer

    D_BarryBunwarmer Account Disabled

    Joined:
    Mar 30, 2008
    Messages:
    389
    Likes Received:
    1
    I would say age matters if that's ALL you're into. If you're only into 20 year olds, then you want a body. Not a relationship. But if you can fall for a guy who has your body type and is your age, then age doesn't matter for you.

    I am so sick of older guys saying "Age doesn't matter. It's only a number" and then telling me they're only into guys in their 20s.

     
  20. D_skeaflea

    D_skeaflea New Member

    Joined:
    Nov 26, 2008
    Messages:
    213
    Likes Received:
    0
    LOL, exactly. People who say "age doesn't matter" are usually young people who are only into older, or vice versa.
     
Draft saved Draft deleted