Election Time

Discussion in 'Funny Stuff: Jokes, Quizzes, Games & Pics' started by Pitbull, Oct 27, 2008.

  1. Pitbull

    Gold Member

    Oct 25, 2006
    Likes Received:
    While walking down the street one day a US senator is tragically hit by a
    truck and dies.
    His soul arrives in heaven and is met by St. Peter at the entrance.

    "Welcome to heaven," says St. Peter. "Before you settle in, it seems
    there is a problem. We seldom see a high official around these parts, you
    see, so we're not sure what to do with you."

    "No problem, just let me in," says the man.

    "Well, I'd like to, but I have orders from higher up. What we'll do is
    have you spend one day in hell and one in heaven. Then you can choose
    where to spend eternity."

    "Really, I've made up my mind. I want to be in heaven," says the

    "I'm sorry, but we have our rules."

    And with that, St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down,
    down, down to hell. The doors open and he finds himself in the middle of
    a green golf course. In the distance is a clubhouse and standing in front
    of it are all his friends and other politicians who had worked with him.

    Everyone is very happy and in evening dress. They run to greet him, shake
    his hand, and reminisce about the good times they had while getting rich
    at the expense of the people.

    They play a friendly game of golf and then dine on lobster, caviar and
    There are many beautiful women.

    Also present is the devil, who really is a very friendly guy who has a
    good time dancing and telling jokes.
    The band is superb and he dances with many of the women.
    They are having such a good time
    that before he realizes it, it is time to go.

    It seems to be more like a paradise than hell.
    Everyone gives him a hearty farewell and waves while the elevator

    The elevator goes up, up, up and the door reopens on heaven where St.
    Peter is waiting for him.

    "Now it's time to visit heaven."

    So, 24 hours pass with the senator joining a group of contented souls
    moving from cloud to cloud, playing the harp and singing hymns.
    They have a good time and, before he realizes it, the 24 hours have gone by and St. Peter returns.

    "Well, then, you've spent a day in hell and another in heaven. Now choose
    your eternity."

    The senator reflects for a minute, then he answers: "Well, I would never
    have said it before, I mean heaven has been delightful, but I think I
    would be better off in hell."

    So St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to

    Now the doors of the elevator open and he's in the middle of a barren
    Fires are burning all around. Lava is running down the hills and a thick smoke chokes him.
    The ground is covered with waste and garbage.
    He is standing up to his knees in a pool of thick excrement.
    The stench is unbearable.
    He sees all his friends, dressed in rags, picking up the trash and putting it in black bags.
    Others are shoveling the excrement into wheelbarrows as more burning trash and excrement
    falls from above.

    The devil comes over to him and puts his arm around his shoulder.

    "I don't understand," stammers the senator. "Two days ago I was here and
    there was a golf course and clubhouse, and we ate lobster and caviar,
    drank champagne, and danced to great music and had a great time. Now there's just a fiery
    wasteland full of garbage and excrement and my friends look miserable.

    What happened?"

    The devil looks at him, smiles and says,

    "Two days ago WE were campaigning.
    Yesterday YOU voted.
    Today it is business as usual" :firedevil:
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