Eroticizing the conversation

[Growing123]

A guy I know (straight family guy) subtly steered a conversation we were having so that it reintroduced a sexual anecdote that I had shared with him prior involving a sexual liaison between me and another man. His seamless segue to this experience felt a tad manipulative as if he just wanted me to open up more about my sex life.
He said something along the lines of 'oh that reminds me of the time that guy and you xxxxxxx'. It hung in the air and I brushed it aside.

I'm left wondering if he was aroused in some way and wanted me to indulge some fantasy. He has done this once or twice before but brought up my sexual acts with women 'It reminds me of the time you jizzed on her'. Is this guy getting off on this line of questioning? I do suspect it's private wank material for him.

 

[atlas23]

Sounds like he wants to talk more about sex with you. why don't you try to keep the conversation going and see where it goes?

 

[playklax01]

I live vicariously through other people's experiences (especially sexual ones). He may be doing the same thing. Or he likes hearing about it to build his own fantasy off of it. If you're ok talking about it, then who cares?

 

[Growing123]

I live vicariously through other people's experiences (especially sexual ones). He may be doing the same thing. Or he likes hearing about it to build his own fantasy off of it. If you're ok talking about it, then who cares?

But he's straight. Why would he want to hear about me and guys???

 

[playklax01]

But he's straight. Why would he want to hear about me and guys???

Like I said, he can build his own fantasy, switching the roles and sexes, off of it. I do that when friends talk about their encounters. But idk. Maybe he's curious and is using it as a window into what goes on.

 

[Giorgio broughton]

More context needed

A guy I know (straight family guy) subtly steered a conversation we were having so that it reintroduced a sexual anecdote that I had shared with him prior involving a sexual liaison between me and another man. His seamless segue to this experience felt a tad manipulative as if he just wanted me to open up more about my sex life.
He said something along the lines of 'oh that reminds me of the time that guy and you xxxxxxx'. It hung in the air and I brushed it aside.

I'm left wondering if he was aroused in some way and wanted me to indulge some fantasy. He has done this once or twice before but brought up my sexual acts with women 'It reminds me of the time you jizzed on her'. Is this guy getting off on this line of questioning? I do suspect it's private wank material for him.

 

[halcyondays]

His seamless segue to this experience felt a tad manipulative as if he just wanted me to open up more about my sex life.

Maybe he was just curious about your sex life without being turned on about it?

To him you're someone who opens up and shares details of your sex life. How many people actually do that? Since you demonstrated you're actually willing to talk about sex he wants to hear more.

IMO he's not using it for wank fodder.

 

[Growing123]

More context needed

I was sharing a problem with him before involving shame about a sexual request. He brought it up a few months later saying 'remember when you told me.......'
I just thought why are you bringing this up again. To get turned on perhaps. Wank material when his wife and kids are out and he's in the shower.

 

[Growing123]

I do wonder if he thinks about me and would like to think that he does especially when he's jerking off. He appears as a sensible type so maybe he's happily married. But the idea of him getting turned on by me turns me on. Very homoerotic. I have been married too.

 

[OldWise]

I have been stunned several times when older guys just opened up and talked about their experiences or sexual kinks. I would have bet hugely against any of them having had out-there sex experiences, as they were so straight-laced, old-school types. I remember the time I was helping a old neighbor (who was nearing 80 years old) fix his car. Out of nowhere, he asked what my sexual kinks were. I told him. He nodded approvingly, then told me how he and his boss had wife-swapped regularly for over a decade. Another told how he had married a virgin and how, a decade into their marriage, how he had let her sleep with his friend, as the friend looked just like a famous country-western singer she had a huge crush on.

 

[hardboy_fll]

But he's straight.

As far as you know!

 

[Growing123]

As far as you know!

I imagine that he predominantly 'prefers' women on the basis of how society determines relationships or one's sexual orientation but maybe privately in fantasy can imagine male on male sexual pleasure. The majority of straight men would not entertain such erotic fantasies at all but maybe 10% can reach a level of arousal or at least indulge homoerotic fantasies even if they don't achieve an erection.

 

[Latham]

Have str8 mate..when out and about with him walking thru a mall he tries to pick out guys for me as he knows the type I go for
Often says stuff like
1.Bet you'd like to get in his pants.
2.Look what he's packing.
3.You'd have to bend over this one.
Does it to get a rise out of me...one time he was at it and l said " already been there don't that"
Worse thing l coulda said he was like tell all did you guys fuck, was it a hand job,
No don't tell me you blew each other.
Wanted to know the ins and outs of it all.
Asked him if he got off on my sexual exploits.
He gave me a gr8 smile and just winked.

 

[Growing123]

Have str8 mate..when out and about with him walking thru a mall he tries to pick out guys for me as he knows the type I go for
Often says stuff like
1.Bet you'd like to get in his pants.
2.Look what he's packing.
3.You'd have to bend over this one.
Does it to get a rise out of me...one time he was at it and l said " already been there don't that"
Worse thing l coulda said he was like tell all did you guys fuck, was it a hand job,
No don't tell me you blew each other.
Wanted to know the ins and outs of it all.
Asked him if he got off on my sexual exploits.
He gave me a gr8 smile and just winked.

That's a definite affirmative wink. So if this guy does actually indulge such fantasies involving 2 guys doesn't it mean that he's not fully straight? Probably he occasionally does jerk off about your same sex exploits or it enlivens his own sexual escapades with his wife/gf and his sexual juices. His cheeky grin smile back at you was almost flirtatious but he was letting you know that the answer wasn't an emphatic no. He probably does do it to get a rise out of you as you indicated but I think it's turning him on too to some degree. Do you agree or not?

 

[Kanashi]

Does curiosity always equate to arousal? To me, it seems like you are the one who gets aroused at the thought of "straight" men becoming curious about homosexuality. You post and discuss this topic quite frequently. Does the thought of such scenarios arouse you?

 

[Latham]

That's a definite affirmative wink. So if this guy does actually indulge such fantasies involving 2 guys doesn't it mean that he's not fully straight? Probably he occasionally does jerk off about your same sex exploits or it enlivens his own sexual escapades with his wife/gf and his sexual juices. His cheeky grin smile back at you was almost flirtatious but he was letting you know that the answer wasn't an emphatic no. He probably does do it to get a rise out of you as you indicated but I think it's turning him on too to some degree. Do you agree or not?

I don't disagree you are probably right mate thanks for commenting

 

[Growing123]

Does curiosity always equate to arousal? To me, it seems like you are the one who gets aroused at the thought of "straight" men becoming curious about homosexuality. You post and discuss this topic quite frequently. Does the thought of such scenarios arouse you?

I'm not denying that this scenario does arouse me with this man in particular. Not with other straight guys. Did I even deny that it arouses me? I stated that it does in a previous post. Spare me your detective work which seems to want to shame me. Do you get aroused shaming bi guys who have fantasies about straightish guys??? My question is around 'could this man be conventionally straight but have some homoerotic feelings' and 'could our emotional intimacy involve a sexual dimension of intimacy'.

 

[Kanashi]

I'm not denying that this scenario does arouse me with this man in particular. Not with other straight guys. Did I even deny that it arouses me? I stated that it does in a previous post. Spare me your detective work which seems to want to shame me. Do you get aroused shaming bi guys who have fantasies about straightish guys??? My question is around 'could this man be conventionally straight but have some homoerotic feelings' and 'could our emotional intimacy involve a sexual dimension of intimacy'.

I apologize if that's how my post came across. I'm not trying to shame you, but rather get a better understanding of your perspective on the scenario.

 

[Growing123]

This happened again a few days ago. Same guy sexualized something innocuous that I said. It does turn me on (mildly) but mostly I'm left wondering what his agenda is. I get embarrassed that he will pick up my crush. I want to ask him about it outright. He plays it safe and introduces it covertly.