Farts

[grandunification]

The only grown woman I've heard fart is my mom. I would think I would hear a woman blast a good one sooner or later, but it's never happened. I've heard numerous expulsions from men. How do you control yourselves so that you never accidentally rip one in public?

 

[TinyPrincess]

Think it's a question of different etiquette more than anything else. Men and women both have gas, we just behave differently. If I have gas I go to the bathroom.

 

[LaFemme]

The only time my boyfriend heard me pass gas was when I was asleep. The rest of the time, I’d go to the bathroom to do it. Just the way I was raised.

 

[Scarletbegonia]

I’m wondering how one knows a fart’s gender-source in a crowd.

I know my male partner goes to great lengths to not pass gas in public.
He even excuses himself at his home.
I know I’ve heard one. Outside, and he’d stepped back.

contrast to my exhusband who was basically jet propelled. And called the Tribe of the Mountain Walruses after any food.

one bubbly boy, he was.

I’m all good with an “excuse me.”

I tend to excuse myself, will always do it in social situations. (Even without recruiting someone to go to the loo with me— ha). but hiking and work, and certain situations...well...it happens. I aim for noise mitigation.

 

[MickeyLee]

Ummm, Women have been told that one audible fart will destroy feminine mystique. Our relationship. Our standing in society. Personal dignity.

Those kinda consequences will tighten up a butthole.

 

[TinyPrincess]

my exhusband who was basically jet propelled.

Made me laugh out loud

 

[Tight_N_Juicy]

Oh, he's heard me.

In public I won't allow my exquisite butthole to speak. That bitch keeps quiet until I allow her to vocalize.

If I'm really not feeling good, and he's on the couch with me I'll just let him know. Got one in the chamber and I'm hurting too much to give fucks. If he doesn't like it he can leave for a bit. He just gets excited and laughs about it.

 

[Scarletbegonia]

Confession time....when a client farts, I take advantage if needed.

 

[Scarletbegonia]

Made me laugh out loud

You can picture it can’t you? He was a skinny guy, too.

 

[Holly Doors]

Of course women pass gas but in company we try to be discreet, I can control my bottom gas fairly well and they'll even seem to disappear when held in. It's my tummy gas I have more an issue with, I get a lot of digestive gas and burp/belch a lot which I can't hold in.

 

[TinyPrincess]

You can picture it can’t you? He was a skinny guy, too.

 

[EllieP]

Female SBDs are part of our evolution and have been cultured throughout all time. Our ability to run silent is a closely kept secret from the Y chromosomes.

By the time you realize it was us we are long gone.

If we wanted we could put men to shame with our aural prowess. There is a video about finally revealing our true abilities I saw a few years ago, probably on here, that made me laugh hysterically!

 

[MickeyLee]

This thread is taking me back to 2013.

Cake Farts, y'all

 

[Enid]

The only time(s) I've audibly and quite distinctly farted in public i had severe food poisoning from vibrio vulnificus (tainted shellfish). I didn't quite know it yet because it was only 2nd-3rd day. Needless to say, that was two of the worst weeks of my life. I lost 20 lbs but I also bloody shat myself while simultaneously throwing up and what's worse i just laid there while my sister cleaned it all up.

Otherwise in public I hold it in. I run away if I think I need to have a moment.

 

[4388301]

Raised w old fashion manners. Hold door for people, say bless you if someone sneeze. That include not passing gas or belch in front o people if can help it. If can't, say pardon/excuse me.

As have gotten older have some health things that make tummy upset a lot. Try to be discreet about for own sake, but partner knows have issues. Live together for years, they know I have bodily functions. Meh.

 

[Enid]

Raised w old fashion manners. Hold door for people, say bless you if someone sneeze. That include not passing gas or belch in front o people if can help it. If can't, say pardon/excuse me.

As have gotten older have some health things that make tummy upset a lot. Try to be discreet about for own sake, but partner knows have issues. Live together for years, they know I have bodily functions. Meh.

My father's side of family has this ritual of saying "SHAAADUPPP" like a really long drawn out new york accent "shut up" when someone sneezes but not out of mean-spiritedness or anything, just a revolt against "bless you"

I have to curb that irl, irl I say nothing.