First relationship

[WoodLock]

Hi All,

Ive just got into my first relationship (I’m a gay male) with a guy, been seeing eachother for like 2 months and has asked me to be his boyfriend a short while ago.

I’m not sure how my feeling should be towards him, like I’m not completely head over heels for him and not thinking about him 24/7, but when I’m with him I have a really nice time. When I’m not with him, I quite enjoy my own peace (as I have for all of my life) and I feel quite selfish saying that so I’m not sure where I draw the line. Couples early on are completely infatuated with eachother but I don’t feel like that, is that normal or is that not a sign it’ll work?

I’m also struggling to get over my single life, like thinking of other guys, thinking about Grindr hook ups (I don’t want to cheat and I won’t) but I can’t put that stuff behind me… does that mean I’m not ready?

 

[chrisrobin]

Read what you wrote and you'll have the answer - or if I spell it out for you is that ok.
Be a boy friend as opposed to a boyfriend but before you've played the field don't settle on the first one to ask especially if you don't feel its right. You're obviously still enjoying being gay and single so why fuck it up - that'll come soon enough, so, just remain friends - even with benefits!

 

[ASK JEFF]

I think you already know the answer to your own question. No, the relationship will not work RIGHT NOW, however, if you enjoy your time with him, like him, he’s excellent with you in all ways—emotionally, accessible, kind, considerate, etc.,—then give it a chance. You might be surprised. Right now, just be honest. That’s the most kind and considerate thing to do for yourself and for him. You can never go wrong if you’re honest.
Many hugs,
Jeff