Friends lists deletions

[B_Nicodemous]

We all know are friends lists changes, sometimes we add, others we subtract. What makes you delete a person from your list?

I will go first:

Lack of contact. If i have not heard SOMETHING form you in x time, your gone. Sorry but I have a very fair grace period before deletion, and dear god if you can't even drop a visitors message, then why are we friends? I will usually give 3 to 6 months.

Falling out: It happens. Sometimes the reason is clear, others, not so much. The time you have before you are booted depends on how badly the fall out (open hostility and tantrums have more time then cold distance. Inn the former, at least lines of communication are open. The latter scenario, those lines are closed, and I will move on faster than you can say plippyploppycheesenose)

The person themselves deleting me (obviously)

Passive neglect: Not a total lack of contact, but a lack of meaningful contact. if i feel that you are not somewhat involved in maintaining a friendship, then blip, you are gone.

Obviously my guidelines would not work for everyone. I tend to keep my friends lists for actual friends. I need to have regular contact, or more than one method of contacting them, for them to be there.

There are others though who seem like friend collectors, and that's cool, but I am curious how they (if they) edit their lists . For those of a similar bent as me, I am curious as to what criteria they have.

 

[NotSoDumb_Blonde]

Mmm, I'm not so picky. I have a list of friends, but they aren't 'friend-friends' like your list, to the degree you have it laid out. I have some people I say hi to regularly, some I email daily, and some I hear from once in a while. They are people I had ask me to be friends and emailed me to ask, or we exchanged some form of communication. I've only asked for one person to 'friend' me, I think.

I delete someone I talk to regularly only if I've haven't heard from them in like...years. Or after that first flurry of emails/exchanges, and then nothing, I delete them. (Sometimes I only hear from someone if they think I'll cam with them, and after the first flurry of emails, when they learn I don't, they drop off my radar and I'll delete them after a bit. It's an honest assumption -- even if I have it spelled out in my 'about me' page, so it happens.)

I try to be nice too, so I don't say no to people if they email me and ask. I think that's a bit rude. I mean, we can never have too many people to chat with/say hi to. But if they obviously want something from me, I usually ignore their request.

I guess think of my friend list as someone who I can drop a line to if they're on, or leave a note for if I want to say hi, or something like this....only a few are people I email or so on regularly.

 

[nudeyorker]

Ummm... I have a number of people who friended me because I was on the moderating team I think that never hear from. It is what it is I guess.
The people on my friend list who I'm actually friendly with are what is important to me. I've removed a couple people because we just were not destined to be friends here or in life. A couple of others who died and I do a little house cleaning at the end of the year with banned members.
Most people remove me. I have pissed off more than a couple of people here I guess.

 

[Endued]

Logan's Run style. Two years on my friends list and your time is up.

 

[798686]

Various reasons. I'm a bit OCD about my list, and do a bit of culling from time to time, if there's people on there I never have contact with.

I sometimes get a bit carried away tho, and end up grovelling to put ppl back on hahaha.

I do tend to delete people who have been banned or left (or died) - because I like it to be current.

 

[Countryguy63]

I only remove closed accounts or banned "friends"

 

[D_Kitten_Kaboodle]

Mine is mostly lack of contact or if I am pretty much the initiator of the conversations...

I always delete someone that has been banned (even if it is temporary, we can fix that when they come back if they chose to), or has disabled their account and left the site. I don't like to clutter my list.

I have also removed people because I found them to be "collectors" and that just doesn't sit right with me.... (IDK why... I'm just weird... )

Just because I remove someone from my friend list, it doesn't mean I don't find them charming or enjoy thier conversations... it usually just means I am putting way too much effort into the "relationship" and feel like I'm getting very little in return.

 

[nudeyorker]

Really? Now I understand why you unfriended me!:frown1:^

 

[D_Judith K Rantz]

Usually I remove them if there is a lack of contact and/or I don't feel like we connect in a comfortable way. But I'm so picky with who I accept that I hardly remove anyone.

 

[_yayme]

I haven't been here long enough ti delete anyone on my friends list but I'd treat it the same as Facebook where if people don't communicate with me I will delete them

 

[LaFemme]

Whenever I cull my list, I do it not by amount of contact, but if I remember your name! If I have no idea who you are - you are off the list. Generally, if I know you from forums, pms, visitor messages - I consider you a friend and will keep you. But if I don't recognize your name? Wow....that means you pm'd me once and that was it.

I've kept a couple of deleted/banned accounts out of sentimentality. Hey, Nico came back, didn't he?

 

[LaFemme]

I WAS gonna respond to someone's post here, but she disappeared it. *sigh* I'll just say that I'm glad she never got overzealous and accidentally zapped me off her friend's list cuz she forgot her glasses.

Forgetting glasses, btw, is why my friends get very strange texts from me. Oh how they laugh. :redface:

 

[LargeSide]

one of my favorite games to play on any site that has a "friends list" is called "Lets see how many assholes I can get rid of." I mostly play that game on Facebook, though.

 

[Enid]

Logan's Run style. Two years on my friends list and your time is up.

i guess i'm gone soon! :biggrin1:

in seriousness, i generally only go through and delete those whose friend requests i have accepted because we chatted once or twice in chat -- and then not again.

sometimes i delete a banned member from my list.

i think that's it.

i try to go clean it out these days fairly regularly, since i keep a private album.

 

[Krusader]

a E-Sycthe mows thru my friends list once om a while.

 

[petite]

I usually only delete someone if we've had so little contact that I can't remember who they are. If I have to do a post or PM search to refresh my memory, that's usually when I choose to remove someone.

 

[manju]

What good is it to be on someone's friend list if they really don't treat you as a friend? Is it a status or insecurity thing for people to cull a really large friend list?

I think very few people actually decline a friend request from someone they don't really know so the list grows if you are an interesting, good looking, or "popular" character on here.

In reality, I think most of the people on a person's friends list are just token friends. It's just a meaningless tally of your popularity. Great if it feeds your ego but I think inconsequential to most people here and to genuine friends of yours on the site.

 

[luka82]

My list here needs a bit o housecleaning.

 

[Bangbro]

Friends ....what's that? How much? Ok watch my back......

 

[798686]

My list here needs a bit o housecleaning.

Your house needs a bit of housecleaning, too. :wink: