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Funny, but true.

Discussion in 'Et Cetera, Et Cetera' started by IntoxicatingToxin, Jun 12, 2007.

  1. IntoxicatingToxin

    Awaiting Confirmation

    Sep 10, 2006
    Likes Received:
    Becoming Illegal: An actual letter from an Iowa resident and sent to his Senator

    The Honorable Tom Harkin
    731 Hart Senate Office Building
    Phone (202) 224 3254
    Washington DC , 20510

    Dear Senator Harkin,

    As a native Iowan and excellent customer of Internal Revenue Service, I
    am writing to ask for your assistance. I have contacted the Department
    of Homeland Security in an effort to determine the process for becoming
    an illegal alien and they referred me to you.

    My primary reason for wishing to change my status from U.S. Citizen to
    illegal alien stems from the bill which was recently passed by the
    Senate and for which you voted. If my understanding of this bill's
    provisions is accurate, as an illegal alien who has been in the United
    States for five years, all I need to do to become a citizen is to pay a
    $2,000 fine and income taxes for three of the last five years. I know a
    good deal when I see one and I am anxious to get the process started
    before everyone figures it out.

    Simply put, those of us who have been here legally have had to pay taxes
    every year so I'm excited about the prospect of avoiding two years of
    taxes in return for paying a $2,000 fine. Is there any way that can I
    apply to be illegal retroactively? This would yield an excellent result
    for me and my family because we paid heavy taxes in 2004 and 2005.

    Additionally, as an illegal alien I could begin using the local
    emergency room as my primary health care provider. Once I have stopped
    paying premiums for medical insurance, my accountant figures I could
    save almost $10,000 a year.

    Another benefit in gaining illegal status would be that my daughter
    would receive preferential treatment relative to her law school
    applications, as well as "in-state" tuition rates for many colleges
    throughout the United States for my son.

    Lately, I understand that illegal status would relieve me of the burden
    of renewing my driver's license and making those burdensome car
    insurance premiums. This is very important to me given that I still have
    college age children driving my car.

    If you would provide me with an outline of the process to become illegal
    (retroactively if possible) and copies of the necessary forms, I would
    be most appreciative. Thank you for your assistance.

    Your Loyal Constituent,
    Donald Ruppert
    Burlington , IA
  2. D_N Flay Table

    Dec 23, 2006
    Likes Received:
  3. B_Think_Kink

    B_Think_Kink Banned

    Oct 25, 2006
    Likes Received:
    I think I've seen this before... lol.. too comical.
Draft saved Draft deleted
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