Funny Limrick

[ConanTheBarber]

Ellie speaks fond of the flute,
And its song is more sweet than the lute;
.. But to tutor two tooters
..To toot like a tutor
Gives less tune than snogging a brute.

 

[ConanTheBarber]

We hear rumours of Fuzzy’s fine claws;
They’re more potent than even his jaws.
..But Conan’s fine buns
..(Even more than his guns)
Will win Fuzzy’s fine licks and applause.

 

[BUSTERHYMAN]

Sing a song of syphilis,
A snach full of crabs,
Four and twenty ulcers,
and twice as many scabs
When the scabs are opened,
The cunt begins to sing,
"What a fuckin' dirty place to put your penis in!"

 

[Big Jake]

Wow. Great limericks guys. I'm certainly impressed.

 

[BUSTERHYMAN]

Ashes to ashes,
Dust to dust.
If Freddie Mercury ate pussy
He'd still be with us.




There was once a man from China,
Who wasn't a very good climber,
He slipped on a rock,
Cut open his cock,
And now he's got a vagina.

 

[MASSIVEPKGO_CHUCK]

For my new GF;
Now I lay her her down to eat,
I pray her pussy don't smell like feet,
But if it smells too bad to lick,
I pray she 's good at sucking my dick.
BTW, it's also spelled, Limerick.

 

[Smartalk]

There was a man called Hall
Who had an Hexagonal ball
If you cube rooted its weight
by Pi minus eight
it equalled the square root of f@@k all

 

[MASSIVEPKGO_CHUCK]

More to my new GF;
Roses are RED,
Violets are fine,
I'll be the Six,
If you be the NINE.

 

[185248]

I don't really think that's a limerick. The cadence is all wrong.

There was this guy from Gdan'sk
who could not so much as dance.

He then met Ellie
whose legs went to jelly

When he exposed what lay in his pantce

 

[rustre59]

I love limericks, but haven't written one in many, many years. These have inspired me to try my hand once again. I guess I kinda got carried away and couldn't stop myself.

I've seen many on here taking stock
Of the size and the shape of their cock
Whether it's eight or it's nine,
It's still bigger than mine,
Whether it's soft or as hard as a rock.

Now hearing them brag can get boring
With women they claim to be scoring
I'm not sure they're lying,
But, there's no verifying
When your cam requests they are ignoring.

I don't want you to think I'm unhappy
My cock size is quite far from crappy
An inch more would be great,
But, I'm afraid it's too late
Unfortunately, I take after Pappy

We all have our crosses to bear
Many things in this life just aren't fair
Sure I wish that my dong
Had turned out to be long,
But, we can't all be horse-hung down there

I'm sure this won't make sense to some
On the subject I just can't play dumb.
I say, size doesn't matter
When we make baby-batter,
And, it all feels the same when we cum!