Gay friend questioning my sexuality

[Brodie888]

A 6. 6.5 on a good day.

That's fine, but you will probably find only a very small pool of guys who are able to look beyond a 2 point discrepancy in looks. And even if you do find one, you'll be watching your back all the time because guys will look at you both and try to pick him off you because they think he can do better.

You would be better served compromising on your standard to a 7 or 8/10 and appreciate other traits a person might have.

You may think that you have forever but the good ones usually go early and it gets slimmer pickings before you know it.

 

[deleted19462351]

I do question my sexuality regularly, won't let others do the same though,not their business and from this and previous comments you seem to be bisexual and that's fine, preferences shift, attraction is weird and inconsistent and sometimes scary but what are you gonna do?

 

[Brodie888]

I think I would, if I saw a future with her. But my biggest fear is that I'll fall in love with a woman and I won't be able to satisfy her (or me) sexually. I suppose that anxiety is enough reason for me to seriously consider going to therapy, for real.

For what it's worth, I would say you are closer to the gay end of the spectrum. As such, you will probably regret being in a relationship with a woman.

As such, if you plan on being in a monogamous relationship, you will be essentially living a gay life. In which case it may be easier to think of yourself as a gay man who has a passing interest in women.

If you plan on being in an open relationship, then you can probably make use of the bi label in that circumstance.

It's all about perspective. Figuing out who you are takes time. People don't realize coming out to yourself is the first step before you can become a real adult.

 

[deleted19462351]

That's fine, but you will probably find only a very small pool of guys who are able to look beyond a 2 point discrepancy in looks. And even if you do find one, you'll be watching your back all the time because guys will look at you both and try to pick him off you because they think he can do better.

You would be better served compromising on your standard to a 7 or 8/10 and appreciate other traits a person might have.

You may think that you have forever but the good ones usually go early and it gets slimmer pickings before you know it.

Sorry if this comes as rude, but grading people for their looks is such bullshit and I don't mean because it doesn't happen, more like what good would do to anyone to be rating people on their physical appearance when there's much more to take into consideration? Also if I'm interested in someone and I find out they are like this, it's over, don't care how hot they are.

 

[Brodie888]

Sorry if this comes as rude, but grading people for their looks is such bullshit and I don't mean because it doesn't happen, more like what good would do to anyone to be rating people on their physical appearance when there's much more to take into consideration? Also if I'm interested in someone and I find out they are like this, it's over, don't care how hot they are.

Not rude at all. Except if you bothered to read all of the OP's posts, you may understand the relevance to the topic rather than judging.

 

[deleted19462351]

Not rude at all. Except if you bothered to read all of the OP's posts, you may understand the relevance to the topic rather than judging.

I get the relevance I just find the whole situation dumb regarding grading people, cause I've been with ok-ish dudes and also pulled out some really really hot ones.

 

[deleted19462351]

Also don't discourag the lad, maybe a hot guy likes him and he hasn't noticed

 

[Brodie888]

Also don't discourag the lad, maybe a hot guy likes him and he hasn't noticed

I didn't say it would never happen, I just pointed out that he has severely limited his opportunities and as you say, not allowing for connections that are more than skin deep.

The situation is that he is stunting his sexual development because he's waiting for Prince Charming to come along. All I am advocating is for him to kiss a few toads.

 

[deleted28504631]

I didn't say it would never happen, I just pointed out that he has severely limited his opportunities and as you say, not allowing for connections that are more than skin deep.

The situation is that he is stunting his sexual development because he's waiting for Prince Charming to come along. All I am advocating is for him to kiss a few toads.

And I have but they're still toads LMAO!

 

[rimster42]

Pedro Pascal and Paul Mescal both have a similar look, so it wouldn't be surprising if you didn't find either attractive is that isn't your type. That doesn't mean you aren't bi.

 

[deleted29181791]

None of those dudes from Gladiator are hot anyway so I wouldn't consider that a proper litmus test. I think I'd question my bisexuality if I didn't find Henry Cavill hot, for example. But Paul Mescal? Pfff. You're good.

 

[deleted19462351]

None? You all forgetting Denzel, dude has been always beautiful even now pushing 70.

 

[deleted19151801]

Sydney Sweeney, Isabela Merced and Celeste O'Connor are all a bunch of baddies.

You must be a late 90s baby based on this list and the use of the word "baddie," lol.

Why am I pointing this age/generation factor out? Because I believe your generation/age demographic has been poisoned with social media image filtering and how much plastic surgery is out there these days which has unconsciously affected your beauty standards. That could possibly explain why the dudes you find attractive are near perfect 10s.

You've probably been bombarded with fake imagery for most of your developing years.

 

[deleted29181791]

You must be a late 90s baby based on this list and the use of the word "baddie," lol.

Why am I pointing this age/generation factor out? Because I believe your generation/age demographic has been poisoned with social media image filtering and how much plastic surgery is out there these days which has unconsciously affected your beauty standards. That could possibly explain why the dudes you find attractive are near perfect 10s.

You've probably been bombarded with fake imagery for most of your developing years.

I don't know how old the OP is, but speaking as a late 90s baby, I have to defend my gen a bit here. Not a single dude my age I know likes the "beauty trends" of the last decade or so: duck lips, buccal fat removal, big ass silicon tits, anorexic builds, obviously fake BBLs, etc. Respectfully, I think it's the women who are falling prey to those trends, getting botox and lip injections even in their 20s, mistakenly believing that's going to make them look more attractive for men, when it's the complete opposite. Is it any wonder that straight dudes my age are all about Sydney Sweeney, who represents the most "classic" and "traditional" beauty standards?

As for the men, I didn't grew up with social media. I grew up with the CW and the Marvel Universe. My tastes towards men were shaped towards hot, ripped, traditionally handsome men...which was also the case in Hollywood for decades, long before the arrival of social media. Sure, the capeshit craze of the 2010s put a more pronounced focus on big muscles but even that is the oldest male beauty standard there is, dating back to Ancient Rome.

I guess what I'm saying is that this trend of conventionally unattractive celebrities IS the historical anomaly, not the other way around. Gen Z is the one whose tastes and standards are being shaped in real time by new-ish fads in the internet and other media. But us millennials? We were fed on roughly the same diet as our parents and grandparents. We follow, broadly speaking, the same old beauty standards. To wit: we're attracted to "traditionally" good-looking people; pretty faces, big asses and tits, big muscles and abs, etc. That's our deal.

 

[deleted19151801]

I don't know how old the OP is, but speaking as a late 90s baby

But us millennials?

Real quick: if you were born in the late 90s (1996-1999) you're not a millennial, you're older Gen Z. Millennials are 1980-1995.

As far as what most of Gen Z seems to find attractive for both males and females, your stated tastes are an anomaly.

Gen Z battles negative body image amid unrealistic beauty standards - The Chimes

Gen Z is fighting back more aggressively against unrealistic beauty standards because it's causing far more self-image issues than with older generations, I will say that. Societal beauty standards mainly only affect men and women who are attracted to men because men are more visual, and there is more pressure for people attracted to men to be seen as physically attractive by men.

Straight men and lesbians don't care nearly as much about following "beauty trends" compared to demographics trying to attract male mates. I used to make myself physically ugly/unattractive and frumpy on purpose (and still sort of do this) because of an understanding that males are visual. I wanted/want males to leave me alone and not stand out.

 

[deleted29181791]

Real quick: if you were born in the late 90s (1996-1999) you're not a millennial, you're older Gen Z. Millennials are 1980-1995.

As far as what most of Gen Z seems to find attractive for both males and females, your stated tastes are an anomaly.

Gen Z battles negative body image amid unrealistic beauty standards - The Chimes

Gen Z is fighting back more aggressively against unrealistic beauty standards because it's causing far more self-image issues than with older generations, I will say that. Societal beauty standards mainly only affect men and women who are attracted to men because men are more visual, and there is more pressure for people attracted to men to be seen as physically attractive by men.

Straight men and lesbians don't care nearly as much about following "beauty trends" compared to demographics trying to attract male mates. I used to make myself physically ugly/unattractive and frumpy on purpose (and still sort of do this) because of an understanding that males are visual. I wanted/want males to leave me alone and not stand out.

Actually no, 1996 is the last year for millennials.

Question, though: If Gen Z are the ones fighting back more aggressively against unrealistic beauty standards, how come they're also the ones propagating them the most?

"According to the American Society of Plastic Surgeons, neuromodulator injections – which include the botulinum toxin commonly known as Botox – rose by 71 percent among ages 20 through 29 and by 75 percent among ages 19 and younger from 2019 to 2022."

Tiktok, instagram, trends like #babybotox, etc, that's Gen Z's playground. And like I said, their "beauty trends" don't resonate with older generations (buccal fat removal, for example? That's fully a Gen Z thing), so I don't think it's as cut and dry as to say that it's a problem they inherited from millennials or Gen Xers or whoever. It is, for the most part, a problem of their own making.

 

[deleted19151801]

Actually no, 1996 is the last year for millennials.

Question, though: If Gen Z are the ones fighting back more aggressively against unrealistic beauty standards, how come they're also the ones propagating them the most?

"According to the American Society of Plastic Surgeons, neuromodulator injections – which include the botulinum toxin commonly known as Botox – rose by 71 percent among ages 20 through 29 and by 75 percent among ages 19 and younger from 2019 to 2022."

Tiktok, instagram, trends like #babybotox, etc, that's Gen Z's playground. And like I said, their "beauty trends" don't resonate with older generations (buccal fat removal, for example? That's fully a Gen Z thing), so I don't think it's as cut and dry as to say that it's a problem they inherited from millennials or Gen Xers or whoever. It is, for the most part, a problem of their own making.

When I say aggressively, I mean by pushing extreme narratives for beauty standards that still promote unhealthy lifestyles. For example, being super skinny is just as unhealthy as being overweight. Neither should be categorized as "beautiful." But many of the Zoomers pushing back will be quick to argue you down if you even so much as hint that being fat is unattractive to anyone that isn't a chubby-chaser. There's no balance.

So, there seems to be immense pressure to look like an IG model, mainly finding the IG or OF model look to be the most attractive, while also being openly willing to date Shrek to avoid being labeled shallow and exclusionary.

 

[ariesgeorge]

I'm very sexual but also very picky. The two aren't mutually exclusive. How much experience have you had with guys and how old are you?

 

[Brodie888]

I have a "type" that's quite restrictive.

The perfect relationship guy for me in no particular order is white, blond, blue eyes, gym body with abs, cock at least 7 inches with girth, at least 6 foot tall, honest, loyal, intelligent, funny, outgoing, dominant, top only and earns enough to support themselves.

When it comes to one night stands, holiday flings, Grindr hookups etc. They don't need to fit this standard. They just need enough to be fit for purpose.

 

[Jjsurp99]

After reading I really think OP needs to stop thinking about men. I'm making an assumption it's porn addiction and he can just easily ignore me. Go back to heterosexuality