Getting really depressed...

Discussion in 'Underwear, Clothing, and Appearance Issues' started by DRockStar, Dec 21, 2008.

  1. DRockStar

    DRockStar Member

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    I hate to whine here guys but I don't know what to do. Let me tell you a little about myself before I get into my problem. I am 21 years old in high school i didn't care about my appearance in high school or anything I was just average looking. Then my first year in college I started getting in shape and growing into my looks and I got alot of "looks" and from there I was able to build and eventually even get into modeling. I was happy, yet depressed but im on lexapro now ( depression). the medication is helping, but as the years come on and I turn 20 and 21 i am not balding badly. Im on propecia and rogaine now propecia alone is 80 bucks. I hate the fact that I see myself now and see how I use to look and because of that I gained my gut.
    I know i shouldnt care but people ask how i aged so badly in the field im in. I know its shallow but its true. My question to you guys and if any had my problem is there anything I can do? Yeah yeah i can love who I am but i want to at least keep my hair and appearance at least until im married. Ya know? I am turning 22 soon I just feel my hair is fadding so my youth is too and i havent experienced everything That i could experience. So does anyone know any good products to reduce hair loss other than the ones I named? I am desperate I hate being told I have thin hair. I wish I could have the looks of Zac Efron or Thomas Dekker who are both my age. I ask myself what I did to deserve this..
     
  2. ConnerM360

    ConnerM360 Active Member

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    Woah man that must be hard to post, It was kind of hard to decipher what you wrote but I think I got it all. I do not know of anything for the hair though I am sure that someone on here might. I don't want to give you the cliche "Love yourself" spiff but to think that you are losing your youth is being way to hard on yourself. You will move on from it, if tommorrow all of your hair fell out, by the time you turned 23 you wouldn't even miss it. You will grow accustomed to whatever happens and why beat yourself over something that you cannot control?
     
  3. invisibleman

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    I understand how you feel. There is a lot of pressure into looks and youth. It is unfortunate that we live in a society that perfection is a commodity. The thing is that your body is changing regardless of what you want. It is like the football player at the printemps of his career getting an severe sports injury and having to retire. You are having to get used to your changes. You may have to change and do something different.

    I am balding. Getting fat arsed. But my cock still works. It is harder getting the guys I used to get. But I adapt. I never was a model. (I tried out when I was in college...I didn't cut the mustard.) The heart remains a child though.

    I think that you are grieving the person you were and wondering what will become of you. I think that it is healthy what you are enduring. But I think that you should start thinking about having some other things in your life other than working in an industry that is designed to bring you down if you aren't perfect. It is nerve wrecking. Go to school. Learn something new. Get a hobby or two. Make some money off of your new endeavors.

    There has to be a support group of models who are experiencing the same thing as you are. You don't have to feel like you are going it alone because you aren't. Remember that. I think that you need to know that you are perfect as you are.
     
  4. Principessa

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    You are not alone! Pornographicpoet blogged or posted the same thing like three days ago. I was surprised because I had no idea hair loss was a side effect of anti-depressants for men. I get why you would be freaked out about this, but unfortunately I don't have a cure or treatment to offer. :redface:
     
  5. jumbo747jet

    Staff Member Moderator Gold Member

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    Only you can say what makes you happy in life. Can it be that modeling isn't good for you ? Perhaps it forces you to focus more on what you look like than who you really are and what you really want.

    Go back and read your own question, but think of it as if it was one of your friends writing it. What would you answer your friend ? Perhaps you should listen to your own advice.


    Best of luck !
     
  6. SpeedoMike

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    he didn't say the hair loss was caused by psych meds. I'm unaware of any which have that side effect. hereditary and chemotherapy are generally the causes.
     
  7. Meniscus

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    DRockStar, if I understand you correctly, your depression began before you had these issues with your appearance. However, because you are balding and have gained a gut, you are now more deeply depressed because you feel that you are prematurely losing your youthful good looks.

    For the balding, take the Rogaine and Propecia. Adopt this attitude: either it will work or it won't. If it works, great. If it doesn't, you have other options. Some men can look great bald--in the late 90s tons of hot young guys with perfectly healthy heads of hair were shaving their heads bald or nearly bald, because that was the look. So you can trying pulling off the bald look. If you really hate being bald, there are various hair-replacement strategies. The techniques they use keep getting better and better and I understand that the results look and feel quite natural. I imagine that they may be somewhat expensive, so if you can't afford them right away, make them a long-term goal and work towards that goal.

    As for your gut, that is something you can control, but you need to ask yourself if it's really that important to you. I myself have a gut I haven't been able to shed, but the truth is that I haven't tried very hard. When I ask myself why, the answer is really quite obvious. Although I'd love to haze a Zac Efron body, I don't want it badly enough--not badly enough to give up my favorites foods and spend all my free time working out. A few weeks ago I was taking a shower and looking down and my belly, and indulged for a moment in a bit of self-hatred over my lack of willpower. Then I thought about everything I'd have to give up to get rid of that gut and asked myself if it was a good trade-off. And I thought, "no way." I began to look at my gut as the price I paid for getting to enjoy food and beer and wine and chocolate, and suddenly it didn't look so bad to me.

    I agree. Try to look at this situation as an opportunity.

    A friend of mine has a little ritual which she does every day. Before going to bed a night, she says a prayer of thanks for the good things that happened that day. Even if she had a horrible day, she finds something to be thankful for. If something bad happened, she'll try to see the good in it, and look upon it as a lesson or an opporunity for growth. If she got sick she'll say something like, "Thank you for reminding me that I need to take care of myself."

    I think this is a good idea, too.
     
  8. goodwood

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    DRockStar -
    Sorry to hear about the hair loss and the weight gain as a result of the meds.
    I hope the meds are helping at least. I have never taken meds for depression so i am not able to talk about that. BUt weight gain, especially in the midriff is very upsetting to guys that are attentive about their physical appearance. When i have gotten more of a gut than i care for (never larger than 34" waist), i simply work out more and eat less and what i do eat is high protein, low cal. low fat.
    Per the thinning hair thing, i can fully relate. i have always had thin hair and have freaked out through my 20s and 30s at my retreating hairline. i hate it.
    I am surprised though at how NOT important hair is to women i have dated. I am always worried about it and self conscious, but every woman i have dated and every woman i have talked with about this thinks i am stupid for being so upset about it.
    It seriously is not a concern of theirs or some magic criteria. I have lots of friends that are thinning/balding and we always complain about it and it really is more of an issue with us, the guys that are loosing their hair than it is for anyone who looks at us.
    I was very surprised to learn this, but it seems its true.
    About the wieght gain, are you feeling well enough to get to the gym or exercise? Depression is an unpleasant thing i know and so you don't feel like working out or being active, but its one of those things that you may have to simply force yourself to do.
    I hope the weight of the depression lightens and that you are able to give attention to things that you enjoy, or that those close to you enjoy. Best wishes.
     
  9. Novaboy

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    Dear OP, if your doctor will give you a perscription for finasteride ( I think I've spelled it right.) you will find that it is MUCH cheaper. It's the exact same medication as propecia, made by the same company but it's perscribed for prostate. Propecia is just marketed for hairloss and is 4-5 times the price. The finasteride only comes in a larger tablet. You need a pill splitter so you can chop it into 4 parts. The dosage is .25 percent higher than the propecia tablets but my doctor said the slightly higher dosage is not a problem at all. It cost me about $80 for 4 months worth instead of $236 for 3 months of propecia. I started to take it before any hair loss was noticable. So far so good. Good luck. You are young. When I was your age I was very concerned with my appearance. While I still like to look as good as I can, the older I get the less the things that once seemed so important become much less so. There was a thread a week or so back about what you hate about aging. Well one thing that is nice about aging is you stop caring about such things, and about what other people think and learn to love yourself for who you are.

    Take care, Novaboy
     
  10. Novaboy

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    About the weight gain. It happens to us all as we age. When I was your age was so skinny. I used to dream that I could put on weight. After the age of 30 my weight slowly started going up. I'm still slim but I know have to watch what I eat. In some ways it's better, as you tend to eat healthier because you are aware of your weight.

    Novaboy
     
  11. B_ClydeS

    B_ClydeS New Member

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    One of my friends who is a doctor has said that he has many patients on Propecia (or Proscar -- same generic drug <finasteride> but in different strengths -- one to treat hair loss and the other to treat/prevent benign prostate hyperplasia <BPH>). He says that all of them have not only gained weight but it's belly weight (a gut), and that there is nothing he can find indicating that as a side effect.

    When I asked him if he was talking about 3 or 4 patients or 30 patients, I was surprised to hear him say that it was closer to 70 or more. I suggested that he report this to the FDA as an adverse drug experience (ADE). You might want to run this past your doctor as well.

    Good luck and know that many people on here will be supportive if you need some outside boosting, advice, and help.

    CLYDE
     
  12. bigmanstl

    bigmanstl New Member

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    Im no Dr. Phil but let me help you out. I believe the first thing you must work on is the inside. You MUST fix that first before you can wory about your outward apearance or you are wasting your time. Trust me when I speak of personal experience that self-confidence is important in life. If you were to go bald as an eagle in a few years, it wouldn't matter because your spouse would love you no matter how you look--hair or no hair on your dome.
    If you can seek counseling, do it! I did wonders for me in the past year and it can help you too. Counseling is not for weak people, it's for people who need help figuring out their issues and want to get back on track. It seems as though you have some emotional issues to work on the inside. Try to find some quiet time and start to figure out what they are BEFORE you start therapy.
    I hope and pray you find your happiness in this world sooner than later. Please don't struggle like I did for so many years and being miserable over stupid stuff and wasting your best years of your life. God bless and good luck.
     
  13. DRockStar

    DRockStar Member

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    First, I wanted to thank all of you with your comments. They really do help thank you. To clear some things up I was depressed 10th grade till up to 2007 so 5 years. the last year is when i started modeling and so forth. This summer i started the lexapro for ddepression .

    Novaboy thanks for the propecia comment I will look into those other pills.
    I know I am being hard on myself, but to be honest im a closet bi. So my youth when it comes to woman and men I think are coming to an end. I just want to have that special relationship we all do in our young years ( as corney as that sounds) and i guess i havent met one yet.

    Thanks for all ur support again, it really does help . I am happy to see so many views expressed.
    But i know I will never look good bald but I will continue to try to live day by day
     
  14. MarkLondon

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    Hi Drockstar, my hair started thinning before I was 20 and by 24 I was bald on top. It is tough to go through that so prematurely. I tried some treatments but nothing available then worked. Best thing I did was embrace it and get a crew-cut. It's not being bald that looks bad, it's balding - the inbetween phase with strands of fine hair blowing about in the wind. If you're a model presumeably you've got good facial bone structure and can carry off the bald look.

    Don't waste money and your dignity on hair transplants or hairpieces. Neither ever looks natural.

    I read of a survey of American women a few years ago (sorry, can't cite you a reference) on hair preference in men. Top was black or dark brown hair. Second was bald! Followed by blond, then red. Who'd have thought it? But baldness is a sign of masculinity, after all.

    If Propecia works by blocking testosterone receptors then it might have something to do with your belly growing, and probably won't be helping your depression.
     
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