Well if it's any help, my new fiance (yes, I popped the question on our European vacation) and I just returned from Cap d' Agde, France which is arguably the largest nudist city in the world during the months of July and August. During any given day in the quartier naturiste you will be among 15,000 other exposed penises and a like number of breasts and female genitilia walking along the beach, shopping at the Heliopolis and Port Ambonne grocery stores and shops, and dining at the various restaurants. The number of erections we saw (before 7 pm) you could count on one hand.
After that time the number escalated in the portion of the beach in front of the dunes below the Beuvette de Marsellion restaurant when the guards left their shack. While we didn't see any of the wild goings on some have told us went on years ago, a few couples got pretty frisky right there on the beach in the late day. And I have to say, ego aside, I got a LOT of encouraging looks by folks who wanted to see the garden hose reeled out and stiffened. This only started to happen once when Jen and I were parked next to a particularly attractive Dutch couple, the woman was in her early twenties, blonde and smoking hot... and eying my dick all afternoon to the extent I could "feel" her eyes on it. (Note: social decorum for a newly engaged man is to pretend there is no smoking hot 6' Dutch blonde on an adjacent beach towel with a toned body, blue eyes, perfect teeth, tear drop shaped melons with light tan aureole mentally measuring your penis at every chance.) Lord give me strength!
On Tuesday 7:13 pm it happened. Miss Amsterdam rose from her towel to get another soft drink from their cooler and me eyes went straight for her luscious nether area like a Navy SEAL sniper marksman ranging his target; my cock started to reel out despite all my valient efforts. Jen instantly shot me a nasty glance like "don't you dare show-off that thing to her- I OWN it now." No evening sex, threat of castration, nothing could stop my dick's erection and lust for this babe from the shores of the North Sea. Nothing except...
I didn't tell you about the enormous number of single guys roaming the grounds of Cap d' Agde. Straight- single- whatever, they are in incredible numbers with absolutely no single female equivalents to be found. If any single male expects to hook with a woman at Cap d' Agde he'd have better luck in Stromfjord, Greenland. There aren't any. But they roam the beach nevertheless staring longingly at whatever their sexual proclivities indicate. And among this unattached mass was a little man, a gay retired music professor from the U.S. who looked amazingly like Dr. Zachary Smith from the old Lost In Space TV show. About 5' 3" he walked with bowl legs and a western hat that made his nude beach gaint look like a phallic gunslinger at the O.K. Corral. For some uncanny reason this guy always managed to be around us, looking at me constantly like some perverted leprechaun in heat. It gave me the creeps no matter how accepting I am of alternative lifestyles.
So...just as my penis threaten to break the seldom exceeded penile measurment in the human race, the lofty 12" mark on its way to the full 13," my field of vision spots Dr. Smith, the evil elf himself, with an expression on his face as if he just traded in the entire Robinson family and the Robot for a sack of magic beans; hiding on a face cloth of a towel on the other side of my Perfect 10 Euro babe! No amount of Viagra in Languedoc-Roussillion France could salvage an erection now.
Hope my Summer 2005 experience serves as a lesson big guy. Nude beach fantasy verses reality.
