A sailor meets a pirate in a bar, and they take turns telling about their adventures on the seas. The sailor notes that the pirate has a peg-leg, a hook and an eye patch.
The sailor asks "So, how did you end up with the peg-leg?"
The pirate replies: "We was in a storm at sea, an' I was swept overboard into a school of scurvy sharks. Just as me men was pullin' me out, a shark bit me leg clean arf."
"Wow!" said the sailor. "What about the hook?"
"Well," replied the pirate, "we was boardin' an enemy ship an' was battlin' wit swords. One of the sorry scum cut me hand arf."
"Incredible!" said the sailor. "And how did you get the eye patch?"
"Seagull shite fell in me eye," replied the pirate.
"You lost your eye to a seagull-dropping?" the sailor asked incredulously.
"Yaaaaaarrrrrr," said the pirate, "it was me first day wit' th' hook..."
