Help me get over my obsession with straight guy(s)

[deleted5250291]

So I'm making this thread because my obsession with straight guys I barely know has become a bit of a problem in my life.
There's specifically this one guy that I've met a couple times, super beautiful, light brown hair, blue eyes, tall and athletic (he's a skater), and on top of that we got a lot of things in common when it comes to art/music stuff. But we're not really friends or anything, and I can't seem to get him out of my head. He's straight, so there's not even one single chance of him being interested, but I keep on looking at his pictures almost everyday, thinking about him, things we could do together, I even go on his twitch streams just to hear his voice. I know it's a problem and I wanna get over it asap...

Anyone else in this same situation or similar? I know a lot of gay guys have these obsessive crushes on straight guys so if any of you have any tips I'd be interested!

 

[bigboaster]

I haven't had any obsessive crushes myself (I'm bi though so I've never understood the straight man appeal truly).

But for general crushes I've had (note these are only around the age of 18 or so) I would try to spend free time looking for potential hookups. That's a good distraction. Lol

 

[daydreamnavy]

It happened to me few times and the best way to get over it was not looking for pictures or socialmideas for a while, and naturally my crush was gone. So maybe try to avoid him? It works for me lol

 

[neil sharma]

I am in that same boat !

 

[breeditbro]

Seduce him. Invite him over. Find a used skateboard somewhere for cheap and ask him to come over and see if its worth any money. Then while he is there get a sudden back cramp and ask him if he would mind helping you to relax the muscle because it's really painful. Oh yeah that's good but it's a little lower. A little lower. A little oh here this might help. Then slip your underwear half way down your ass. Or feed him a few beers and see where you can take things. Or have some straight porn playing on the TV when he gets there. Be polite and tell him if it bothers him you can turn it off. Then after he watches for a little while tell him that most of your straight friends think you give way better head than their girlfriends do. Have you ever let a guy suck your dick? You should try it. "I'm not trying to date you or make things weird. Just getting head from a friend isn't going to make you gay or anything..."
So many possibilities. Then when you are successful at getting a taste of his dick you will either 1)have had it and now get bored with it and move on to the next guy. or 2) Created a new fuck buddy that might decide he is in fact bisexual instead.
Don't get too worked up about not wanting to try and just go for it. Straight guys hit on girls that are so far out of their league all the time and nobody has a fit about it. The girl says no and the guy moves on. No harm no foul. Same thing here. One advance on him is not all that shocking. Now if he is clear and says no he's not interested and you keep hounding him and harassing him, then it becomes a stalking issue and nobody likes that.
I think you will be pleasantly surprised how many "straight" guys are willing to play around. But just keep in mind that their emotional status will never be on your level. For them the head just feels good and they are watching porn the whole time. They will never be in love with you or want to date you. And may or may not even be willing to return the favor. So if you are ok with just being a sperm deposit location for them then you can have many many fun years of doing so.

 

[Kingsrocker]

I have this feeling when I was a senior. he's a sophomore, were really not friends nor acquaintances I just saw him walking one day and I got "crush at first sight". for few months I cant stop checking his fb. after knowing that he already had a gf that time I said to myself to stop checking his fb. It's hard at first but few weeks, my crush to him just stopped and I'm just glad. Its really hard to like someone and they dont like you back.

 

[deleted1220758]

"A crush is just a lack of information"

There's nothing wrong with having a crush, until or unless it becomes obsessive, or becomes a hindrance towards getting the connections we actually want that are mutual and reciprocal. We've been conditioned to put attractive straight men on a pedestal, and project the idealized qualities onto them.

I had an old friend that was a former colleague and I had the biggest crush on him. Definitely masturbated while thinking of him and I tried to convince myself that he'd eventually feel the same.............and then I got to know him and the reality didn't live up to the fantasy at all. And I definitely played a role in us not being on speaking terms now.

There are plenty of men that are openly attracted to men. Maybe they're someone you can also have a crush on. Maybe they're someone you can get to know. Maybe the reality of them is even better than whatever fantasy you ever had about them.

There's only one way to find out.

 

[bigboaster]

"A crush is just a lack of information"

There's nothing wrong with having a crush, until or unless it becomes obsessive, or becomes a hindrance towards getting the connections we actually want that are mutual and reciprocal. We've been conditioned to put attractive straight men on a pedestal, and project the idealized qualities onto them.

I had an old friend that was a former colleague and I had the biggest crush on him. Definitely masturbated while thinking of him and I tried to convince myself that he'd eventually feel the same.............and then I got to know him and the reality didn't live up to the fantasy at all. And I definitely played a role in us not being on speaking terms now.

There are plenty of men that are openly attracted to men. Maybe they're someone you can also have a crush on. Maybe they're someone you can get to know. Maybe the reality of them is even better than whatever fantasy you ever had about them.

There's only one way to find out.

Lots of lpsgites (I won't say gay men in general) have trouble separating fantasy and reality unfortunately

 

[dreamer20]

My problem is obsession with straight guys..specifically a beautiful, light brown haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic guy (he's a skater) I've met..we've lots of things in common too - art/music stuff. But we aren't friends. He's straight, there's no chance of him being interested, but almost everyday I want to hear his voice, keep thinking about him & things we could do together...Anyone else have obsessive crushes? If you have any tips I'd be interested!

You both have common interests so he might actually like socializing with you. Introduce yourself, befriend him and suggest activities/events that you could mutually enjoy together. Get to know him, but don't try to seduce him. Be glad to have him as a friend - if you can. We all have sexual thoughts and urges. View your sexual thoughts as harmless fantasies - which you can indulge , playfully, in your mind - but not in reality with this man.

 

[here4thirst]

I Want What I Can't Have

 

[deleted21760801]

Always fantasised about a gay man being able to turn me from being a straight guy

 

[Alex Sommers]

So I'm making this thread because my obsession with straight guys I barely know has become a bit of a problem in my life.
There's specifically this one guy that I've met a couple times, super beautiful, light brown hair, blue eyes, tall and athletic (he's a skater), and on top of that we got a lot of things in common when it comes to art/music stuff. But we're not really friends or anything, and I can't seem to get him out of my head. He's straight, so there's not even one single chance of him being interested, but I keep on looking at his pictures almost everyday, thinking about him, things we could do together, I even go on his twitch streams just to hear his voice. I know it's a problem and I wanna get over it asap...

Anyone else in this same situation or similar? I know a lot of gay guys have these obsessive crushes on straight guys so if any of you have any tips I'd be interested!

Well, I can have a non-sexual crush on a straight guy -- realizing there is no chance of it going beyond friendship. I think you need to concentrate of building a friendship if possible -- and forget about anything beyond that. If your feelings are mostly sexual, you need to move on and find someone possible of reciprocating.

There are a couple of guys at the gym with whom I have chemistry, and I think one even made a pass at me. Though I'm intrigured, nothing came of it -- because I don't see him regularly -- can go months without seeing him.

There are straight guys at the gym whom I adore -- but not really in a sexual way -- because they are straight -- and I've been around too long to think there is any possibility. I don't even get turned on by seeing them naked (I've only been turned on in the locker room or showers once or twice when I was younger and before the Internet), but I do love the experience of being naked in front of an attractive friend who is also naked (that's about as good as it can get).

It's okay to fantasize once in a while as long as you realize it's just a fantasy.

 

[Badgirl_lips]

Always fantasised about a gay man being able to turn me from being a straight guy

Fuck me

 

[deleted21760801]

Fuck me

Is that a request or a expression of shock to my post? lol

 

[nj6443]

So I'm making this thread because my obsession with straight guys I barely know has become a bit of a problem in my life.
There's specifically this one guy that I've met a couple times, super beautiful, light brown hair, blue eyes, tall and athletic (he's a skater), and on top of that we got a lot of things in common when it comes to art/music stuff. But we're not really friends or anything, and I can't seem to get him out of my head. He's straight, so there's not even one single chance of him being interested, but I keep on looking at his pictures almost everyday, thinking about him, things we could do together, I even go on his twitch streams just to hear his voice. I know it's a problem and I wanna get over it asap...

Anyone else in this same situation or similar? I know a lot of gay guys have these obsessive crushes on straight guys so if any of you have any tips I'd be interested!

I know I'm a month late but I'm glad that you asked this. Makes me happy I wasn't the only one seeking to change this habit when I used to have it.

As @wsnki07 said very wisely, just try to get to know him. Having a crush means you've created an image of the person in your mind - now it's up to you to find out if the reality matches up with the image. It sounds like you already realize it doesn't - since he's straight - and big ups on your perceptiveness and willingness to move past a fantasy.

Anyway yeah just try to get to know him. When you feel the obsessive thoughts taking over, just step away for a bit or take some deep breaths. If, after all, you can't move past your fantasies, then you'll have to avoid him to move on, but hopefully it won't come to that.

P.S. It's prolly controversial but I will say that imo masturbation does NOT help with this shit haha. The more you masturbate to the thought of him, the more you fuel the fantasy and the tougher it will be to see him for who he really is. Good luck brother

 

[deleted5250291]

I know I'm a month late but I'm glad that you asked this. Makes me happy I wasn't the only one seeking to change this habit when I used to have it.

As @wsnki07 said very wisely, just try to get to know him. Having a crush means you've created an image of the person in your mind - now it's up to you to find out if the reality matches up with the image. It sounds like you already realize it doesn't - since he's straight - and big ups on your perceptiveness and willingness to move past a fantasy.

Anyway yeah just try to get to know him. When you feel the obsessive thoughts taking over, just step away for a bit or take some deep breaths. If, after all, you can't move past your fantasies, then you'll have to avoid him to move on, but hopefully it won't come to that.

P.S. It's prolly controversial but I will say that imo masturbation does NOT help with this shit haha. The more you masturbate to the thought of him, the more you fuel the fantasy and the tougher it will be to see him for who he really is. Good luck brother

Thanks everyone for your replies! It's comforting knowing y'all understand what I'm going through and some others went through the same thing.

I really would like to get to know him (and hopefully be disappointed so I could get over him lol), the thing is I'm probably not the type of person he would hang out with. One thing I discovered though is he actually might be bi or at least fluid when it comes to his sexuality (shocker), but he's still very "straight looking", definitely interested in girls, and mostly hangs out with guys like that too. Me, I'm more on the queer/gay side of things, physically too haha. And although him and his friends are open to queerness in general and stuff I don't think we would necessarily match. Plus, I'm someone who's shy as fuck, so how would I even randomly reach out to him haha I feel like I needed to be at the same event as him or something like that so it could be a more natural approach.

Anywayyy, I realized that my obsession for him has ups and downs anyway. I could go one week without checking his socials, and other times I check them 10x a day. Hopefully the obsession fades, it really is annoying because I could be spending all this time being interested in someone who deserves it and maybe even gives the feeling back.

Cheers!

 

[Badgirl_lips]

Thanks everyone for your replies! It's comforting knowing y'all understand what I'm going through and some others went through the same thing.

I really would like to get to know him (and hopefully be disappointed so I could get over him lol), the thing is I'm probably not the type of person he would hang out with. One thing I discovered though is he actually might be bi or at least fluid when it comes to his sexuality (shocker), but he's still very "straight looking", definitely interested in girls, and mostly hangs out with guys like that too. Me, I'm more on the queer/gay side of things, physically too haha. And although him and his friends are open to queerness in general and stuff I don't think we would necessarily match. Plus, I'm someone who's shy as fuck, so how would I even randomly reach out to him haha I feel like I needed to be at the same event as him or something like that so it could be a more natural approach.

Anywayyy, I realized that my obsession for him has ups and downs anyway. I could go one week without checking his socials, and other times I check them 10x a day. Hopefully the obsession fades, it really is annoying because I could be spending all this time being interested in someone who deserves it and maybe even gives the feeling back.

Cheers!

I hope you all the best. You can do this. It takes time, but one day you're gonna wake up and realized you're okay with it.

Sending your way all my best wishes.

 

[bigboaster]

Thanks everyone for your replies! It's comforting knowing y'all understand what I'm going through and some others went through the same thing.

I really would like to get to know him (and hopefully be disappointed so I could get over him lol), the thing is I'm probably not the type of person he would hang out with. One thing I discovered though is he actually might be bi or at least fluid when it comes to his sexuality (shocker), but he's still very "straight looking", definitely interested in girls, and mostly hangs out with guys like that too. Me, I'm more on the queer/gay side of things, physically too haha. And although him and his friends are open to queerness in general and stuff I don't think we would necessarily match. Plus, I'm someone who's shy as fuck, so how would I even randomly reach out to him haha I feel like I needed to be at the same event as him or something like that so it could be a more natural approach.

Anywayyy, I realized that my obsession for him has ups and downs anyway. I could go one week without checking his socials, and other times I check them 10x a day. Hopefully the obsession fades, it really is annoying because I could be spending all this time being interested in someone who deserves it and maybe even gives the feeling back.

Cheers!

Any updates?

 

[Boaxy]

I know I'm a month late but I'm glad that you asked this. Makes me happy I wasn't the only one seeking to change this habit when I used to have it.

As @wsnki07 said very wisely, just try to get to know him. Having a crush means you've created an image of the person in your mind - now it's up to you to find out if the reality matches up with the image. It sounds like you already realize it doesn't - since he's straight - and big ups on your perceptiveness and willingness to move past a fantasy.

Anyway yeah just try to get to know him. When you feel the obsessive thoughts taking over, just step away for a bit or take some deep breaths. If, after all, you can't move past your fantasies, then you'll have to avoid him to move on, but hopefully it won't come to that.

P.S. It's prolly controversial but I will say that imo masturbation does NOT help with this shit haha. The more you masturbate to the thought of him, the more you fuel the fantasy and the tougher it will be to see him for who he really is. Good luck brother

Fuck that. That doesn't mean crush is over/reality doesn't match up to the image, just because he's straight. If anything that makes shit worse. "Damn I'm just a lonely punk nobody wants, and he's straight. Another straight guy" etc.

Like we can't help what we're attracted to.

Then people say dumb ass shit "Go on racist as Grindr and hookup" no thank you. Haven't used Grindr since like 2011 and and will never use Grindr ever again.

Being gay fucking sucks I swear. I hate being single and lonely, and I'm 33 now.

I just want an Ethan from H3H3 type boyfriend.

 

[nj6443]

Fuck that. That doesn't mean crush is over/reality doesn't match up to the image, just because he's straight. If anything that makes shit worse. "Damn I'm just a lonely punk nobody wants, and he's straight. Another straight guy" etc.

Like we can't help what we're attracted to.

Then people say dumb ass shit "Go on racist as Grindr and hookup" no thank you. Haven't used Grindr since like 2011 and and will never use Grindr ever again.

Being gay fucking sucks I swear. I hate being single and lonely, and I'm 33 now.

I just want an Ethan from H3H3 type boyfriend.

Ok this is kind of a problematic take to me (though I agree about Grindr), so I just wanted to reply directly.

There is little that mentally separates gays and straights imo. We gotta drop the differences and focus on what we all have in common. Wanting someone unattainable is normal for any sexual orientation - nobody can help what they’re attracted to. The advice many people have given here apply to that situation for anyone, including me (don’t think of them when you jerk off, give yourself some space, etc.)

I do hope you find your hot boyfriend someday. And I’m sorry about Grindr - it is definitely racist sometimes and I’ve had some people say some horrible shit to me there as well lol