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Hilarious Craigslist Ad

Discussion in 'Women's Issues' started by Tattooed Goddess, Apr 19, 2010.

  1. Tattooed Goddess

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    This made me giggle:

    Finally, something for the lazy person! Paying $100 per hour with a one hour minimum (more if you help). Sessions usually last about two hours. Your duties will consist of inspecting air blowers and jets issuing from my hot tub and to advise if they feel good. Duties also include giving and receiving a massage. Candidate should be slim, fit and trim and not be offended by nudity (yours). Candidate needs to be young but legal and not afraid to have fun.
     
  2. petite

    petite Expert Member

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    LOL! That's great! I like how the ad downplays that there's anything sexual going on at all.
     
  3. Tattooed Goddess

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    It sounds so technical, at first i pictured this woman inspecting the exterior hoses to the hot tub and then i reread it and realized he was wanting to see how much pleasure she was getting out of the hot tub jets. I like that he mentioned "not offended by nudity (yours)"

    His specifications for her physical appearance and age range seem quite picky, but then again he is paying $100 an hour. I was thinking damn i bet 2 hours feels like an eternity. And you will be massaging too. Where is there time for orgasm from the jets with all this inspection going on?
     
  4. wallyj84

    wallyj84 Superior Member

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    He'll probably get at least one response from a prostitute.
     
  5. EllieP

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    I have a résumé.
     
  6. gretchenweiner

    gretchenweiner Experimental Member

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    We had a family friend who used to get $300 for taking a 15 minute shower for this really rich, old guy who suffered from impotence.
     
  7. Guy-jin

    Guy-jin Legendary Member

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    Suuuuuuuuuuuuuure you did.
     
  8. gretchenweiner

    gretchenweiner Experimental Member

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    haha i wouldn't ever be his type...no one pays landwhales for those sort of things
     
  9. Guy-jin

    Guy-jin Legendary Member

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    He probably thought he was doing the world a favor by putting an endangered species back in its natural habitat!
     
  10. gretchenweiner

    gretchenweiner Experimental Member

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    haha...i don't think landwhales are anywhere close to becoming an endangered species
     
  11. B_Nick8

    B_Nick8 Banned

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    Gretchen, I told you that in confidence.
     
  12. Enid

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    That ad is hilarious. I found another funny one. I would love one of these!

    Man-Servant Needed

    Look, I'll cut to the chase. I just need some help around my house.

    Duties of a man-servant include, but are not limited to the following:
    - Daily trash removal
    - Back rubs
    - Daily cleaning of litter boxes
    - Sponge baths
    - Preparation of lights meals and snacks
    - Gratuitous compliments about how great I look in my penguin pajamas

    In addition, a man-servant will have to be able to handle the following:
    - Watching me dance around (without pants on) to show tunes
    - Wearing a bedazzled loincloth while performing chores
    - Occasional sexual harassment
    - The sound of a whip cracking

    Salary is negotiable and bonuses are available depending on how special you've made me feel by the end of the day.

    If you're interested, please contact me as soon as possible. I'll need to fit you for the loincloth and then bedazzle it by hand before you can start.
     
  13. petite

    petite Expert Member

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    Chrissy I adore you! That was great! A bedazzled loincloth? It's much too glam for me!



    My manservant's list of duties would have include:

    - Basic household chores wearing only a pair of Calvin Klein boxer briefs

    - Preparing cut fruit such as melons, peaches, berries, and grapes. May be asked to feed me fruit.

    - Must be willing to watch my girly TV shows with me, possibly while giving me backrubs, and make interesting conversation about them.

    - Preparing bubble baths. Must fetch bathtime beverages of my choice, such as hot cocoa or a glass of wine. Must be good at playing with bath toys such as my Black Pearl Pirate Ship, possibly by candlelight.
     
  14. Tattooed Goddess

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  15. gretchenweiner

    gretchenweiner Experimental Member

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    haha well I kept the part about making you lather your poof slowly and saying "i'm such a dirty, dirty girl" while scrubbing your body secret...um until now.
     
  16. CyprusBigOne

    CyprusBigOne Lurker

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  17. petite

    petite Expert Member

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  18. Tattooed Goddess

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    That's BRILLIANT.
     
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