Homophobia

[D_Harry_Crax]

(6) I live in the buckle of the Bible Belt: North Carolina.

Oh, I am so tired of this phrase! Every moderate or liberal who lives anywhere from North Carolina to Mississippi to Oklahoma says they live in the buckle the Bible Belt. That's a lot of buckles (and there are other places that are just as bad, but never try to claim the title, such as much of Kansas).

 

[hypolimnas]

I really wanted to say that I found reading this thread quite moving really. I think we often want to momentarily forget about our escape daily experience. Actually I wanted to say thanks to those who have replied. My own experience has been pretty easy by comparison, because of where I live, and my family/community environment.

Unless people articulate their experience it is hard for some to understand.

 

[Lex]

Diego, why should I have to move to the literal fringes of the country in order to live in a gay ghetto and feel acceptance?

Why the hell can't it happen here? Fully thirty-SEVEN percent of my fucking income goes to taxes, yet I don't have a representative in Congress? Did someone say DISENFRANCHISED? I was born here, I contribute to my community in all kinds of ways, and Goddammit, I deserve equal treatment under the law of my own Goddamned country (i.e., the Constitution of the United States).

Again, why the hell can't it happen here? I'm white-hot FURIOUS that the supposedly inalienable rights of the Declaration of Independence somehow don't apply to me. I'm LIVID that the Constitution had to have AMENDMENTS in order to make bigots treat others equally -- and that the discrimination is STILL OCCURRING. [Note your "nigger" quote, above.]

What has to happen -- roundups for the Christian gas chambers before you "move over here -- it's much nicer here" ostriches with your damned heads in the sand (and asses in the air waiting to be screwed again by our elected officials) understand what the consequences are?

NCbear (who's damn tired of being a second-class citizen in an anti-intellectual "culture" that consists of Wal-Mart "decor" and "fashion")

P.S. If I've grouped you with the ostriches unfairly, Diego, I apologize. But DAMN, man! Can't you see the problem with merely moving to somewhere else in the USA? (I know, I know, it's the same problem with moving OUT of the USA to be a citizen of another country. But there's nowhere else to live, yet. No space habitats that *I* can afford, at least.)

What HE said.

 

[Freddie53]

I agree that moving to a more friendly place is an option and is the best option for some. Some people are miserable where they live and want to move.

But as NC and Lex have said, no one should HAVE to move. It is time we take our Consitution and its Amendments seriously. The USA is based on a civil set of laws, not religous ones from any religion.

The sad part is that it is easier to get laws changed than it is to change people's opinions. People can be so cruel. And I have always beleived that is isn't the true straights who wouldn't consider a fling with a man that are the problem. It is those closeted "bi's" who would love to get or give a blow job, if they knew they wouldn't get caught, who raise all the hell.

 

[DaMoose]

While you didn't reference my quote, I assume this was a response to my post. I think I didn't do a good job of explaining my position. Not all people are Christians. And all Christians don't have the same opinion on the subject.

I am in favor of civil unions or marriage for gay or straight couples. This civil union or marriage would have a certificate and would have all the same rights and privileges as a marriage license has now for straight people. It would be up to the couple, gay or straight, to have a church ceremony, a non religious ceremony, a celebration, or simply get the license and it is done.

We are a multicultural society. Let each couple, gay or straight, celebrate their civil union or marriage in the way that they or their religion, if they have one, without government involvement.

If our society demands that we call it marriage for straight couples and civil unions for gay couples so be it all long as both as identical by law.

It is a pity that some people want to deny some people the right to be married because the marriage offends them or their religion.

Marriage is between two people and their God if they have one. It really shouldn't be anyone else's business.

I wasn't refering to you, I don't know why I used "you" sorry.

MOOSE

 

[DC_DEEP]

First off I want to address NCBear. There are many many places in the US that have a much more open acceptance of gays. Now I'm sure that there is some charm and positive things in North Carolina, but it boggles my mind why any homo would stay in a place where they felt so unwelcome (This goes as well for all you people who live in Virginia and work in DC). Move to New England, or out west, or if you want to stay in the south, how about Atlanta or Ft. Bottomdale?

I live in sunny San Diego, CA and the discrimination here isn't shown in the open, but it does still exist.

I spent some time in "sunny" southern California - Camp Pendleton, to be specific. I've seen how much discrimination is available. I've also seen how "native" Californians feel about "outsiders" moving in.

But to address your point about moving to less hostile areas: for some people, it just is NOT an option. Not all jobs are available everywhere. Not everyone can just decide, "Well, I've been with this company for 15 years, and they want to relocate me to Richmond. I guess I'll have to quit this job and start over." No, in that situation, most would just move to Richmond. Not everyone can afford to move to SoCal.

Oh, I am so tired of this phrase! Every moderate or liberal who lives anywhere from North Carolina to Mississippi to Oklahoma says they live in the buckle the Bible Belt. That's a lot of buckles (and there are other places that are just as bad, but never try to claim the title, such as much of Kansas).

It's an AWFULLY big belt!

 

[NCbear]

The Bible Belt is actually wrapped around the entire damned globe. Have you heard what African ministers are saying about gays and lesbians? Or maybe what the Koran says to do with LGBT/etc. people?

NCbear (who'd seriously love to be able to move to a different planet, if at all possible--except that within that wish is the sure knowledge that the bigotry would follow, because people are people)

 

[headbang8]

Are you affected on a daily basis. By discrimination, looks, stares, comments etc?

I've travelled to, or lived in, many parts of the world. I've only experienced direct discrimination on a few occasions--all in the United States.

The subtler forms of discrimination, well, that's more difficult to say.

I once worked for a boss whom I knew to be homophobic. He couldn't discriminate directly, and knew it; that would be against the law. Yet every time we had a disagreement on a work issue, I was forced to ask if it was based on his judgement of my work, his perception of me as a professional, as a person, or was he just giving me a hard time because I was gay?

Is the cab driver being rude because I'm sitting in the back seat holding hands with my partner, or is he an asshole to everyone? Here in New York, there are plenty of equal-opportunity assholes, especially amongst cab drivers.

Are my neighbours less friendly because I'm gay? Is the sales clerk a little more frosty? The cable guy a little too eager to finish his task and get out of my house?

From what I understand, this sort of not-quite-discrimination is the stock-in-trade of racism. Nothing you can put your finger on, quite, but pervasive and insidious. Most people who are identified with a race other than the dominant one, develop fine tuned instincts to detect it.

NCBear called it "country-club" discrimination, in which classism, sexism, racism and homophobia quietly flourish behind the wall of privacy which only privilege can buy.

What I'm about to write may irritate a lot of readers, but alas, it needs to be said.

If you meet me, the first thing most people will see is a middle-aged white professional. That puts me in a privileged position, for a start. In most interactions, my perceived status trumps homophobia.

I'm checking into a hotel (itself a privileged act) and I ask the desk clerk to hold an extra room-key at reception for my companion, who will arrive later. On working out that my companion was a male, the clerk suggested that "hotel policy" was to rent me a twin room rather than the double I had ordered. What do I do? I flash the colour of my Amex card, make him check the lofty status of my preferred guest profile, and remind him that I, and my company, give this hotel chain a lot of business. I deliberately use intimidating vocabulary, which shows off my fancy education. I get the room I ask for, and the manager sends (irony of ironies) a fruit basket.

I don't feel good when I am forced to do this. In many ways, I was practicing my own form of country-club discrimination against this poor schmuck, just as surely as if I had called him "boy".

Further, what of the gay men who can't flash their status? What would have happened if I were a young black drag queen paying cash?

(It's worth checking out the gay conservatives thread for clues on this subject.)

Lee, to answer your question, I probably experience homophobia on a day-to-day basis, but it's woven into a matrix of personal, professional, status and money relationships. It's hard to disentangle pure homophobia from everything else.

Do you feel safer and more relaxed if you stay within a majority based gay community?

No. Most gaybourhoods are in the centre of cities, where crime, alcohol abuse, and drugs are prevalent. Much public gay culture involves loud music and drunken-ness. I feel much safer and more relaxed in a country club, even if they sneer at me from time to time.

Do you have a even amount or more gay/straight friends?

I'm an equal-opportunity friend. My friends probably reflect the proportion of gays to straights in the broader community of which I am a part. But when it comes to lovers, I'm definitely heterophobic.

Are family members accepting of you being gay? and do they accept your partner(s)?

Yes. Even the Republicans. They're sometimes confused to begin with, but a little goodwill on both sides works wonders.

Do you let the negative reactions of others affect you or do you ignore them and go about your own business?

I try to ignore them. Not much else you can do. Occasionally, when it makes a difference, I get righteously indignant (see above). But that's rare.

Do you live in a area where being gay is more obvious/non-accepted, and if so does that affect how you act?

I live in midtown Manhattan. I work in advertising. My company is so gay-friendly, we practically have a corporate lisp. I feel as safe here as I would in the West Village. But I'm hardly one for flashy behaviour or PDAs.

Gay Marriage?


Again, check out the gay conservatives thread for my opinion.

 

[BIGBULL29]

(1) There's a lot of country-club, low-key discrimination thrown around by people who assume I'm straight and as bigoted as they are. It's so understated it could be missed by someone who wants to ignore it. But the underlying premise is this: All right-thinking people ("right" in both senses of the word, I might add) believe that gay is NOT good, and we (the speaker assumes I am straight as well) share that presumption.

It's usually based on religion, upbringing, or degree of comfort with difference.

But yes, I'm usually affected at least once a day, often more than that.

(2) NO, I'm not "safer" or "more relaxed," because I'm not a white 30-something club queen trying to look like he's 20-something. Gayborhoods have their in-groups and out-groups also.

And even if I'm temporarily in a gay-friendly space, five seconds after I leave that space I'm back in repressed, homo-hating "culture."

Do I sound bitter? Maybe it's because I can't even hold hands with the man I love without "inviting" physical violence. That's why when I see cute young heterosexual things all over each other in public, I really want to spray a firehose on them and shout "get a room!"

(3) I have a small, select group of friends. More straight friends than gay, though that's slowly changing. Perhaps I'm becoming more tolerant of aging club queens, or maybe they're growing up--or some combination of the two.

(4) The answer to this variant on the age-old "does your mother know you're gay, and what does she think about it" is various. First, it shouldn't matter what your parents think of your sexuality; it is what it is, and exists whether "approved" or not. Second, "family members" means many different things to different people, especially LGBT and questioning people (and all those other categories I've forgotten at the moment) who've learned that "family" is created, not the group of people into whose lives you're arbitrarily born.

Third, my immediate family and some of my extended family know I'm gay. For many years, I felt I could not bring my boyfriend home to meet the family, because (a) my mother was incredibly anti-gay and my 'whipped father went along with whatever she said and (b) several people in my extended family, both sides, are racist (and my boyfriend for twelve years was a beautiful Black/Cherokee man).

More later on how he and I occasionally weren't served in restaurants.

Fourth, I came out to my father's father when he was 98 (in 2003). We hadn't known each other well while I was growing up, due to a family schism based on my grandfather's loudly expressed concern that marriage to my mother would be VERY bad for my father--although he turned out to be entirely correct, my upbringing included only TWO (count them, TWO) times when my father's parents visited us, so we really didn't know each other well at all. My grandfather turned out to be a remarkably accepting person who remembered what I'd told him and remembered not to assume that I was heterosexual. Quite a feat for a man who was nearing 100!

[Side note: He was also a deacon at First Baptist Church in Greensboro for many years and was highly religious. He died in April 2005, four months after reaching the age of 100. I wish I could have had more time with him, but what I had was amazing.]

And I came out to a couple of cousins who were in my high school class (male cousins on my mother's side of the family), both of whom said they'd guessed and wondered why the hell I'd waited so long to tell them.

But I have an ex-beauty-queen aunt (by marriage) who keeps asking why I don't ever seem to mention a girlfriend. I think she's a bit clueless. Well, maybe more than a bit clueless. I've overheard her husband (my mother's racist brother) telling her she should "figure it out" after a particularly amusing conversation at a recent family reunion.

So it's a mixed bag.

(5) When you're not served in a restaurant because you're obviously a male couple, it's kind of difficult to ignore the reaction and go about your business. And yes, that happened to us several times during the 12 years I was with my ex.

Generally, though, I do try to remember that the problem is in bigots' attitudes and behaviors, not mine. That tends to give me a thicker skin these days than I used to have; when I was in college, I wore "gay" on my sleeve, which really didn't help matters any (though it did persuade drunken--and questioning--frat boys to come to my dorm and try to inquire about nonreciprocal blowjobs while I was hanging out with friends in the lounge--yet another way that homophobia plays out in this fucked-up "culture"). Now, I have a bit less patience with bigotry and call people on it more readily when it manifests.

(6) I live in the buckle of the Bible Belt: North Carolina. Did you ever hear of Jesse Helms? The former senator from my state? Ironically, he was brought low by prostate cancer--ironic first by the method by which it was diagnosed (a thick finger up his ass), but doubly ironic because increased sexual activity is actually good for the prostate. There's some poetic justice in both of those ironies.

If I said he was hysterically homophobic, that would not express the full extent to which he was convinced that the world was going to hell and that we homosexuals were the prime mover of that "cultural" destruction. As though we homosexuals chose which gender made our cocks get hard.

Do I feel safe here? I have NO RIGHTS. None whatsoever. Anything I think I have is only contingent on whether someone else thinks I'm a citizen or even a human being. This is the problem with the current conception that "the majority rules"--the minority is fully and completely disenfranchised, unless your particular minority is on the "approved" list for lip service to be paid to your needs.

[I'll pass on the discussion of gay marriage, since I have already posted in a thread in "Et Cetera" on that point.]

This country is not free, Lee_M. Anyone who tells you it is also has some wonderful land to sell you in Florida, somewhere in the middle of the state below Orlando. Be careful, though--it's a little wet when it rains. You might have to put up with a damp basement.

My life partner and I are looking into moving to Canada or Spain so we can live in a place where we have the legal rights we expected to enjoy here.

NCbear (who's letting a lot of accumulated bitterness over being rejected frequently and systematically by his home country show a bit much, but who doesn't mind if it helps people understand some part of what he feels)

P.S. There is no such thing as "the gay lifestyle." Homosexuality is not monolithic. The only thing gay men share is the fact that we get turned on by other men. The only thing lesbians share is the fact that they get turned on by other women. We are all different people who happen to be homosexual in our orientation--just as you, a heterosexual person, should not be defined exclusively or even predominantly by that fact.

Oh, but wait. In this country, and in many parts of the world, we homosexuals share something else: The certain knowledge that there are plenty of heterosexual people who would happily kill us--wipe all of us off the face of the earth--if they knew they could get away with it and if it would be a "final solution."

Buddy, you have every right in the world to feel as you do. What you are saying is undoubtedly the truth. We cannot deny reality.

Apart from the gay neighborhoods in a few American cities, this country is anything but a safe haven for gays. If a gay man must suppress his feelings for his partner in public for fear of violence or discrimination, he is not in a safe zone. Period.

Leave the country if you can. I lived in Sydney, Australia for two years. I did not realize how gay-friendly Australia was until I came back to the US.

Also, I believe that Montréal is a unique city in the North America. Gays seem to blend more smoothly into the entire city despite it's thriving gay district. That is really not the case in other North American cities with vibrant gay communities. You only have this particular district to express yourself; outside of that zone, you are anything but safe.

At any rate, some Western European nations as all as Australia can offer gays a much better quality of life than any place in North America. But, if you are going to stay on this continent, I'd opt for the Montréal area.

I wish you and your partner the very best. You two will indeed get to that special place.:smile:

 

[bearman66]

I can understand and sympathize with NCBear. Georgia, overall, is not a lot better, Atlanta happens to have a large open Gay community, but as a 40 yo bear who can pass for straight, I'm don't fit the superficial beauty aspect that predominates the community there. I think Savannah's much smaller gay community represents the broad spectrum of gay/lesbian lifestyle than that of Atlanta. Fortunately, the little burg I live in is one in which the majority may not approve, but overall attitude is what goes on in your bedroom is your business. It's too small to have a gayborhood but otherwise is tolerant if not fully accepting of homosexuality. Most assume I'm straight, yet very little anti-gay comments are made, but gay jokes are commonplace, and very few exhibit homophobia and intolerance when they are around gays.

As for Atlanta, the gay friendly areas are limited within the city and some areas of suburban DeKalb, Decatur in particular. Most of the suburbs are strongly anti-gay, or pro-family, using their preferred terminology. Cobb County was willing to give up an Olympic venue in 1996 rather than soften its stance. Gwinnet is hardly more tolerant. But, I've always felt this is more a reflection of the "good old boy" network that still controls the county governments in those two rather than a reflection of the average resident.
I doubt the pro-family environments of Cobb and Gwinnett result in fewer children growing up to be hell bound sinful homos than those raised in the dangerous city of Atlanta or its liberal DeKalb suburbs.

Actually, it seems as if being a Lesbian is more acceptable than being a gay male beyond the common hetero male fantasy of seeing two women "go at it." Lesbians seem to be more able to be openly gay in the area I live, openly playing the "butch" role and having rainbow flags on their homes and stickers on their cars without having to think twice about whether or not the KKK or some drunk rednecks are going to raise a stink. The part of the state I'm in, North Georgia, is traditionally lily white and harping on immigration(legal or illegal) and homosexuality seems to be their prime raison d'etre.

I'm going to assume NC lives near the Triad, mention Greensbor, rather than Raleigh, Charlotte or Asheville which have more tolerant attitudes, Asheville rates as highly gay friendly city. Jesse Helms, Strom Thurmond, Herman Talmadge, Lester Maddox, and many other outstanding Southern leaders have left their legacy in Georgia and Carolina politics, but the everyday people are more tolerant than the political leadership and religious leadership of these states would like to admit. They do a good job of helping narrow-minded bigots feel they are saving the world from homosexuality and the problems it brings. Homosexuality is the cause of the breakdown of the traditional family, you know, and leads to child molestation and rape and other "sins against nature."

 

[NCbear]

I live in Winston-Salem, home of the first publicly-funded performing arts conservatory in the country and the first municipal arts council in the country. Now, you'd think that translates into forward-thinking acceptance of homosexual people, right? Considering the typical overproportion of gays in the arts? Well, it doesn't.

This was for several decades the largest and most industrialized city in the state. This is also a town so entrenched in "old money" that city leaders kept the main line of the railroad from coming through here so the riffraff wouldn't have easy access to the city. Now, if I want to catch Amtrak, I have to ride a bus for 30 minutes to Greensboro or 25 minutes to High Point. And don't get me started on the lack of interest in high-speed rail ALONG EXISTING RAILROAD RIGHTS OF WAY.

Same story with the interstates: I-85 from DC to Atlanta doesn't come through here, and the east-west I-40 Business route through town has a HUGE double curve in it where a local politician didn't want the interstate to go through a wealthy neighborhood. Understandable, but other wealthy neighborhoods cut in two by Business 40 have remained wealthy.

Oh well. For the time being, I'm here, trying to enjoy life and help encourage biotech companies to relocate to our downtown research park and faculty researchers to initiate cutting-edge and/or commercializable research projects. It's interesting, thankfully: No two days are the same.

NCbear (who's more and more interested in Canada and Spain)

 

[RUDK]

Homosexuality is the only remaining form of publically acceptable hate -- The last few weeks in the US have shown that people won't tolerate racist or sexist remarks, but if Imus had called the Rutgers women's BBall team a bunch of lesbians, I'm sure it won't have been even an issue... Homophobia is and will continue to be a controversial issue as it is preached by every aspect of society that is suppposed to be our moral and ethical compasses.

 

[50%more]

I guess i should ask also.

How do feel about gay marriage and the laws, debates surrounding it?

I know you aimed this thread at the gay community, but I would like to give my opinion on this.

I think it is a waste of time and taxpayers dollars to make legislation regarding who a person can or cannot marry. I do not choose the gay life style for myself, but I think it is presumptuous of me to expect others to live thier life according to my standards in this area. An individuals sex life is a personal issue. As long as the union is between two consenting adults, I have no right to oppose their actions.

 

[DC_DEEP]

I know you aimed this thread at the gay community, but I would like to give my opinion on this.

I think it is a waste of time and taxpayers dollars to make legislation regarding who a person can or cannot marry. I do not choose the gay life style for myself, but I think it is presumptuous of me to expect others to live thier life according to my standards in this area. An individuals sex life is a personal issue. As long as the union is between two consenting adults, I have no right to oppose their actions.

Thank you, 50%. I wish more non-homos would understand this simple concept. I have typed it more times than I can count, but so many just don't seem to get it.

As for the marriage question, my partner and I just finished doing our taxes. If we could file a joint return, we would save about $7000. Now, do I recall anyone asking why we would want to get married in the first place? This is just one reason out of hundreds.

 

[D_Lee_Iacuckold]

Are you affected on a daily basis. By discrimination, looks, stares, comments etc?
- its been a long time since anyone has given me a bad comment. im sure people think certain things about me, thought its not totally obvious. though i dont recieve any direct looks or stares or comments, i here people talk about it like its a disease, if they only knew i was standing right behind them.

Do you feel safer and more relaxed if you stay within a majority based gay community?
- of course, as a gay man living in a staight world, being in a community with other gays just lets you live more, not worrying about what other people think. there is much more a connection knowing that they are going through the same thing.

Do you have a even amount or more gay/straight friends?
- i have more straight friends than gay friends. though i am getting sick of straight friends cause they dont freaking understand. its fucking annoying when you ask them to go to the pride parade or to a club and they dont want to. its like a smack to the face when they say no. i feel like they say NO to me, especially when theyre your best friends.

Are family members accepting of you being gay? and do they accept your partner(s)?
- my bro, mom, dad, pretend not to know. its not talked about. other family members dont know entirely. kinda scares me.

Do you let the negative reactions of others affect you or do you ignore them and go about your own bussiness?
- as ive gotten older im much more fortified. but still, sometimes it stings.

Do you live in a area where being gay is more obvious/non-accepted, and if so does that affect how you act?
- i live in NYC, so it is pretty much accepted. what a diverse city that you could pretty much act or do what you want. so ill probably be more free here than say somewhere else. people here are just used to it.

 

[jerkdude75]

I, apparently, pass for straight, so I don't attract much ire. Even tho I live in an ultra-conservative area, deep within the reddest of the red states, the only discriminatory experience I can think of was once when a nurse that I was laughing and joking with turned curt when I asked her to draw some blood for an HIV test.

I never fear for my safety, anywhere, but then I had three older brothers who did a fair job of grooming me to be un-intimidatable. I am often bored outta my mind, tho. "Family Friendly" communities tend to offer very little entertainment that I find of interest.

I have lots of what I would call acquaintances that are gay, but none of the people I think of as friends are gay.

I come from a family of religious fundamentalist whack-jobs that only ever leave the ranch to make a run into town for groceries. They, basically, live much as tho it were still 1835. They think the concept of co-ed dorms is shameful. To even broach the subject of my sexuality would be pointless. I'd never bring anyone who's important to me home to meet them. Not for fear that they or I wouldn't have their acceptance, but more cuz I don't want anyone to know I'm related to those people. Ironically, I think I have to thank them for making me rather unflappable, tho. After living with all that crazy, I have a hyper-developed sense of self and couldn't possibly care less what other people think of me.

Being gay and visiting Planned Parenthood are the two things that make you enemy number one, in this community. The same protestors that yell and scream at young girls who visit PP show up at every single one of the activities that the GBLT student organization schedules for gay awareness week, toting their placards with clever phrases like "Satan is a Flamer" on them. The largest club on campus is the Young Conservatives of Texas and they petition every session of the student government to have university funding pulled from all clubs that support GBLT students.

I wouldn't say that all this affects the way that I act, but it makes my life, here, very dull. Everybody is so set on being just like everyone else that it makes it quite difficult to find someone to talk to that has original opinions and genuinely interesting things to say. In fact, on the few instances when I meet someone, here, who is capable of carrying on a conversation about something other than how much they love football or Jesus, I nearly fall over dead from shock.

I've probably mentioned this before, on these boards and others, but I've never really considered marriage to be much more than pointless artifice. However, our government has intertwined so many fundamental rights into the custom that every partnered citizen deserves. I support gay marriage because the present system of institutionalized discrimination unjustly denies those rights to gay people, even tho I will most likely never avail myself of the opportunity should it come to pass.

I don't usually read long posts, but I read yours and was impressed with your insight. I've visited Austin, which is very different from the rest of the state. I know. However, it just makes me so sick that the world is like it is towards gay people. Don't know what we can really do about it.

 

[Rikter8]

Ill answer in bold.

I will target this at the gay sector of this board as they are the ones who can answer my questions.

I think on a whole society is becoming alot more knowledgable and accepting of the gay lifestyle but i wonder if societies still has its issues with gay men and women

Are you affected on a daily basis. By discrimination, looks, stares, comments etc? Yes, comments that I have to swallow in silence.

Do you feel safer and more relaxed if you stay within a majority based gay community? No

Do you have a even amount or more gay/straight friends? Gay to even

Are family members accepting of you being gay? and do they accept your partner(s)? Yes and no

Do you let the negative reactions of others affect you or do you ignore them and go about your own bussiness? It's hard to ignore comments that hate.

Do you live in a area where being gay is more obvious/non-accepted, and if so does that affect how you act? Non accepted. It affects the way you act, live, respond, talk, think.

Sorry, alot of questions i know

Its hard to live in an area/community that doesn't accept different lifestyles.

However, I think that the media doesnt help to portray all of the Bi/gay community.
Showing Transgendered males and females on TV, and effeminate gay men only continues to shove a wedge in the blocks that we are trying to put together.
My brother in law called me tonight, and told me that they were showing men on Logo that were undergoing sex changes, to be a woman, that wants to date another woman. ?????????
Yea... that oughta help out equal rights with the conservatives.....