How Do Guys Bottom So Easily?

[DaMaslin]

I'm a bottom by nature and absolutely hate any time I've tried to top but I tend to have such a hard time relaxing enough to bottom.

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I see guys like the one in this video who just open right up with no issues and I'm jealous. I wish I could just have someone slide right in me with no problems. I'm not sure whether it's just that I'm extremely tight or I'm always nervous but guys usually have to just about force their way in for me to get fucked. Anyone have any suggestions on how to fix this?

 

[flooble]

It's worth remembering that you have no idea what the bottom is thinking--he could be in agony. You also don't know that the bottom in question hadn't been sitting on a dildo, for example, before the camera was on.

As for the rest, this gets asked almost every day. More lube, go slow, be turned on, make sure he eats you out, and most importantly--feeling trust and intimacy with a partner makes bottoming much easier.

 

[Maleblackbook]

I tend to have some massage time on the anus first before I let the alpha jack hammer me to no end.

Nice thumb play deep inside slowly with lube followed by a good sniff of strong amyl

Once he pops inside I love a good hard fast beating of my bototm till my legs are so spread my penis blows a fountain of sperm so fast onto my face x

 

[thebiggulp]

Who says it's easy? About 50-75% of getting fucked is in your head. You have to want it. You have to relax (is it safe, always in the back of your mind). You also have to give yourself time to adjust to the violation. Anyone who is a good top knows that, and should give you adjustment time. You don't go deep and then just piston. Go deep, but allow time for you to feel if, recognise that it isn't a threat, and sink deeper at your own pace. If you need time to adjust, ride him like a cowboy for awhile until you let him control the thrusts. Once you are into it, let him drive.

 

[BlueBearCub]

Unless you are super loose there will always be an adjustment period. Everytime I bottom for my boyfriend I initially feel some discomfort and it can take a minute or too to relax and not be so tight. There is always a period where im like wow this doesnt feel to great and I almost want to stop then I have the moment where it all clicks and bam I want to be pounded out by my man.

That moment comes sooner the more and more I become comfortable with my boyfriend but I dont think will every be instantaneous.

 

[Brodie888]

As with most porn, all the awkwardness is on the cutting room floor.

To have absolutely no resistance, the bottom in the video had probably taken a pounding before the camera rolled.

 

[Brodie888]

When I first started bottoming, I felt it was solely my responsibility to get my ass ready for a show. It was like putting together a production for a Broadway musical. I wanted everything all prepared to go smoothly and my audience to go home amazed, happy and wanting more.

If I had problems, I thought it was my fault, I did something wrong. The truth is that mindset was completely wrong.

If you're going to have sex, both parties need to work together to make it fun. A good top is someone who spends the time to prepare their partner and not expect to just do nothing but show up and shove it in.

 

[headbang8]

I find this thread very heartening.

I’ve joked that I must have a tin-can ass, so unpleasant do I find bottoming. Luckily, my husband and I have settled into a satisfying sex life where I top, for the most part. Or simply enjoy the delights of lighter-duty action. Previous partners and casual encounters have been willing to do the same

Hearing everyone’s experiences teaches me something important. The way I feel isn’t uncommon. The need for relaxation and a feeling of safety isn’t a fault, but a feature of this level of bodily intimacy. Kudos to successful bottoms for knowing yourselves so well.

 

[DaMaslin]

Everything I've heard up until then from guys has always been putting the blame on me. The majority get frustrated after a minute or two and leave and have told me they've never had to work so much to get inside of someone. I figured everyone else just has an easier time bottoming than I do. I see and know of people that hook up all the time and I've never run into anyone that says it takes them more than 5 minutes or so to be able to fuck/get fucked whereas I'm sitting here on the half an hour side if I'm lucky.

 

[Stratavos]

there's so much psychology to bottoming, and to help about the videos, you aren't seeing that they had a plug in for 20 min before doing the video (an option, especially if the girth of the plug is similar to the guy). Stop being so rough on yourself, and understand that as the bottom there's lots of prep work required and if you're not actually feeling comfortable with the partner then things will not work anally, without the right work in the situation.

There's a few different options. if you're concerned about "in the moment" for bottoming, poppers are great since they are a muscle relaxant and work fairly quickly, and since they're in a little bottle, can be resealed and left alone for a while. The Major "don't"s with them though are if you're on any blood thinners, or Erectile meds, DO NOT USE POPPERS. There's a chance of death if you do (vasodialators in excess can cause death in general).

there's some subconcious things going on with people too... which can also get in the way of starting anal to be able to enjoy it.

 

[Gopher]

Experience(and practice) and nerves are what I rule it down to. As a bottom mainly I'm relatively capable at taking larger cocks. It wasn't always that way. I have a fairly well endowed bf so I'm regular "practicing" in that capacity. As well if I were to meet up with a very large top I would prepare with some dildos while douching to get relaxed prior.

It has taken me years to get over the nerves of bottoming and be comfortable with new men etc.

I had an ex who before me was total bottom. Did it all the time. Before we met he had a bad experience with a couple and toys (something he wasn't very into) and it turned him away from bottoming for a long time. When I started topping we had to go very slow because he was so out of practice.

 

[Brodie888]

Everything I've heard up until then from guys has always been putting the blame on me. The majority get frustrated after a minute or two and leave and have told me they've never had to work so much to get inside of someone. I figured everyone else just has an easier time bottoming than I do. I see and know of people that hook up all the time and I've never run into anyone that says it takes them more than 5 minutes or so to be able to fuck/get fucked whereas I'm sitting here on the half an hour side if I'm lucky.

I'd suggest you spend a couple of sessions a week playing with your ass. This will allow you to learn how to relax and figure out what works for you.

A good technique for beginners is the contract relax method. This is where you press your dildo/penis lightly on your hole, clench your sphincter muscles for 5 seconds then relax. When you relax, your dildo should slide in slightly. Allow it to slide in until you get stopped by resistance/paint. At this point, clench again for 5 seconds and repeat the process until you are all the way in. After it's in, start with slow short strokes building up to fast long strokes.

Regular reapplication of lube is key, especially with water based lube.

Until you get your black belt, always start anal sex with you on top so you can control the progression.

 

[David Lucaya]

I find it really really depends on how much I'm into the guy. If I'm not feeling him he probably won't even be able to make it inside because I'm really tight. If he does manage to det in its usually so tight nothing can even really happen.
If I do like the guy, it's like butter lol, I open like a flower if you will and the pain is only at the initial entry and I find myself craving more. So I agree it's like 90% mental

 

[1334118]

I'm a bottom by nature and absolutely hate any time I've tried to top but I tend to have such a hard time relaxing enough to bottom.

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I see guys like the one in this video who just open right up with no issues and I'm jealous. I wish I could just have someone slide right in me with no problems. I'm not sure whether it's just that I'm extremely tight or I'm always nervous but guys usually have to just about force their way in for me to get fucked. Anyone have any suggestions on how to fix this?

It’s not a vagina though, or a sex organ for that matter. Anal sex is a fetish, which means (like others have said) it’s psychological.

There’s so much info online about this. You gotta be horny af, you gotta be lubed, you gotta be relaxed and most importantly learn HOW to relax. Poppers are not the answer and aren’t healthy so if you use them I’d recommend MINIMAL use.

 

[Mister2101]

It’s not a vagina though, or a sex organ for that matter. Anal sex is a fetish, which means (like others have said) it’s psychological.

There’s so much info online about this. You gotta be horny af, you gotta be lubed, you gotta be relaxed and most importantly learn HOW to relax. Poppers are not the answer and aren’t healthy so if you use them I’d recommend MINIMAL use.

I agree completely about relaxing your body.......your mind needs to be "right".....and being horny also helps a great deal....just hungry for that dick and the pleasure it will bring.......and I am not a fan of poppers either..........only tried them once a long time ago and did not have a good experience......just saying....

 

[deleted935846]

Who says it's easy? About 50-75% of getting fucked is in your head. You have to want it. You have to relax (is it safe, always in the back of your mind). You also have to give yourself time to adjust to the violation. Anyone who is a good top knows that, and should give you adjustment time. You don't go deep and then just piston. Go deep, but allow time for you to feel if, recognise that it isn't a threat, and sink deeper at your own pace. If you need time to adjust, ride him like a cowboy for awhile until you let him control the thrusts. Once you are into it, let him drive.

I agree! it is in your mind...learn to relax your hole...I find the more horny I am...more into being fucked I am and want to be...the more depth penetration I can take and handle! and if you relax and "work" your hole on the guys cock...amazing how your hole will adjust and take on more cock...both in thickness and length!...ask me how I know!! my hole has some experience...lol

 

[malakos]

Everything I've heard up until then from guys has always been putting the blame on me. The majority get frustrated after a minute or two and leave and have told me they've never had to work so much to get inside of someone. I figured everyone else just has an easier time bottoming than I do. I see and know of people that hook up all the time and I've never run into anyone that says it takes them more than 5 minutes or so to be able to fuck/get fucked whereas I'm sitting here on the half an hour side if I'm lucky.

Is this all from hookups?

My experience suggests that getting to know someone a bit and developing a rapport with them, and a bit of affection, can do wonders for being able to relax during sex.

Essentially the same problem often comes up for tops with erectile dysfunction. It too is often caused by an inability to relax and get comfortable (for many this entails some trust) with one's partner.

 

[erpap]

I'm a bottom by nature and absolutely hate any time I've tried to top but I tend to have such a hard time relaxing enough to bottom.

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I see guys like the one in this video who just open right up with no issues and I'm jealous. I wish I could just have someone slide right in me with no problems. I'm not sure whether it's just that I'm extremely tight or I'm always nervous but guys usually have to just about force their way in for me to get fucked. Anyone have any suggestions on how to fix this?

That’s a hot video, as a bottom even if it’s rough at first I love being taken like that. So I’m sorry that I have no answer. I do like the pain/pleasure aspect sometimes.

 

[flooble]

Everything I've heard up until then from guys has always been putting the blame on me. The majority get frustrated after a minute or two and leave and have told me they've never had to work so much to get inside of someone.

I will never understand that attitude from tops. Like yeah sure it's fun to just slide into someone. But it's also a lot of fun gently easing someone into getting fucked!

 

[deleted808122]

Notice how his ass plopped out a little lube at the 6 second mark of the video? It could, of course, be cum from a previous guy. Either way, that bottom was well prepped beforehand.

Much of the ability to relax, internally and mentally, comes from the knowledge and confidence that you *can* relax and take more. I've learned to take some real monsters with minimal hesitation, but there has got to be preparation and confidence.

If you haven't already done so, I strongly recommend you get into a place where you won't have to worry about others' opinions, like your own bedroom/bathroom, and learn to take progressively larger dildos. Go very, very slowly at first, and always back off at the first signs of pain. A certain amount of pressure discomfort is OK, but once you feel any kind of sharp pain, stop immediately. Contrary to what many idiots may post online, training yourself to take enormous toys does not make you "looser". It give you greater control over the muscles in your rectum & those inside your gut.

There have been plenty of threads on going deep, but here's the gist of most:
- Be clean. That helps you relax and be confident it won't get too messy
- Use lots of lube
- Put your mind in the right place, it's almost meditative when thinking about your bottom relaxing and opening up
- Experiment with different body angles. I've found that straight, super hard cocks go in much more easily if I arch my back and it is aimed more towards my belly button when going deep
- Have fun! If the top walks out before you're fully relaxed enough to take him, he's obviously missing out an an incredible tight, appreciative bottom. You probably want no part of guys like that, anyway.

Just writing this has got me horny. Think I'll go play with my own bottom now.