How do you find hook-ups?

[swingexc]

I'm 24, if that matters, and I'm familiar with Grindr, but I don't really like most of the people on the app. In fact, it made me doubt whether I'm gay (I'm actually bi, which made things worse). Anyway it's not that the guys are ugly, they just don't look that interesting to me. I can't justify spending my time texting and planning to meet someone I don't even like for a NSA hookup. So I pretty much flake on everyone and only respond to about 1 in a 100 people. I felt pretty bad for a long time, like I don't belong, whatever. And I'm not looking for a relationship.

Don't get me wrong. If a guy suddenly approached me from the app in real life and said, 'Let's jerk off now', I would most likely agree, it's not that deep, but I can't be bothered to spend my time chatting to them when I know it'll take at least 30–120 minutes to arrange something, plus travel time, plus I don't even fancy them, all for an empty hook-up?

But what really sealed the deal for me was discovering gay saunas a couple of years ago. I've been going every few weeks ever since. If I want quick, anonymous sex with average people, I can just go there, it's less than a 30-minute drive. It saves me time, I don't have to chat to anyone, and I know there'll always be someone inside. Yes, most of the men are older inside, but so are the men on Grindr.

So I just don't understand why I should use Grindr at this point. But it seems to be the most popular outlet nonetheless.

Is the app just a way to cherry-pick guys? But if so, I don't understand why profiles disappear from the grid after a few hours, what half the people on it are doing 24/7, and why guys have these strange requirements in their bios, like 'be this, don't be that'. Because we're in the same location, I see these same profiles, and basically he's looking for someone who's not even in the area and never was? Is this for Grindr Extra? But then again, I read that people don't want to travel more than 20-30 minutes. So is Grindr this just swipe, leave and pray?

I wonder if I'm doing something wrong or misunderstanding the app.
If not, then maybe this thread will help someone else who's as confused as I am.

 

[elklindoxxx]

Go somewhere where you can meet in person instead of using apps on the internet. You have no idea what you are getting yourself into. Not to mention the safety issues.

I have a buddy of mine and we have gone to saunas and had very limited success. Because the majority of men are not our types. So we will pass them up. We have found suitable guys, but it's not that often. We decided not to go anymore because it's not worth the time and effort

So try finding a masturbation club in your area, for starters go to bateword.com. I've never hooked up one on one with anybody on the site. But I have attended large bate events they have posted.

I like to attend a session at a J/O least once a month with my buddy. The members are a pretty broad demographic of age and race. However, to increase your odds of finding someone suitable for your taste. If you are lean, muscular, hung and are rock hard. You will find no shortage of willing "members" both literally and figuratively. I do strength and conditioning training 4 - 5 days a week to keep in excellent shape. And my buddy works out A LOT as well. So the members who are in the best shape will get the most attention. We've gotten so much action....hand jobs, frot jobs, ass jobs....I'm not kidding, it's insane.

Now if you do end up attending. Don't be surprised if someone wants to go off premise with you. We've been hit on many times. And that's where you need to be really selective. It takes some time to find a good hookup. But when you do...we've had great sex with people who we have met.

 

[GayBootyLover69]

are there any gay leather bars in your area? there are some that have a sleazy vibe and allow patrons to hook up, i think a lot more gay bars were like that in the past

 

[swingexc]

Go somewhere where you can meet in person instead of using apps on the internet. You have no idea what you are getting yourself into. Not to mention the safety issues.

I have a buddy of mine and we have gone to saunas and had very limited success. Because the majority of men are not our types. So we will pass them up. We have found suitable guys, but it's not that often. We decided not to go anymore because it's not worth the time and effort

So try finding a masturbation club in your area, for starters go to bateword.com. I've never hooked up one on one with anybody on the site. But I have attended large bate events they have posted.

I like to attend a session at a J/O least once a month with my buddy. The members are a pretty broad demographic of age and race. However, to increase your odds of finding someone suitable for your taste. If you are lean, muscular, hung and are rock hard. You will find no shortage of willing "members" both literally and figuratively. I do strength and conditioning training 4 - 5 days a week to keep in excellent shape. And my buddy works out A LOT as well. So the members who are in the best shape will get the most attention. We've gotten so much action....hand jobs, frot jobs, ass jobs....I'm not kidding, it's insane.

Now if you do end up attending. Don't be surprised if someone wants to go off premise with you. We've been hit on many times. And that's where you need to be really selective. It takes some time to find a good hookup. But when you do...we've had great sex with people who we have met.

Well, as I said, I go to saunas. I have it figured out to some extent, but I mostly wonder how other guys do it, and I'd like to share my point of view as well. Sorry if I wasn't clear enough.

I admit that, even in saunas, guys are rarely my type. I wouldn't hook up with most of them on Grindr either. But that's not a major concern for me. For the time and price, what I get is a bargain. In that environment, anything goes.

I'm a young, lean, muscular, hung, fun-sized twink - literally the opposite of everyone in such a venue. I sometimes wish that was't the case, but on the other hand, the place makes up for it by satisfying my exhibitionist tendencies. I love having sex in public and there's always a crowd watching us. I never know what turns me on more. Is it the sex or the people watching us?

Sometimes I think that if porn is meant to be fiction... Either people have never been to gay saunas, or they're basically saying porn is a fairy tale.

There are many other reasons why saunas tick my boxes, for example, I like the quiet. There's no talking, which I love. There are also showers, which aren't really a thing in gay bars. Maybe I was just made for saunas.

I think there are some bator clubs. Maybe I'll check them out! I'm from Europe, so I'm not sure if that site is relevant, but I've heard that there are some clubs. It's possible that people my age might be more common there, as the stakes are lower. Which is the only negative of gay saunas.

are there any gay leather bars in your area? there are some that have a sleazy vibe and allow patrons to hook up, i think a lot more gay bars were like that in the past

One of the reasons I prefer saunas over bars... I don't like the bar atmosphere very much. Drinking, sometimes smoking... lack of shower facilities. I don't like talking too much. I prefer to be naked. No bullshit. Straight to action. Very difficult to explain.