How do you get over???

[Amber1]

Okay....

So this is a serious question and not your average....

So no dumbass answers please!!! Only serious, tactful ones!!!

Have you ever met someone who you have had an intimate relatio-

nship with, had feelings for has (including very strong sexual ones),

been taken in by, manipulated, perhaps you could call it hoodwinked!???

Only to find out that they are a nutter!!! A complete and utter psychopath, who only cares about what they want and noone else.

They already have a partner of course (although they kept you in the dark about this) and when you find out....

they threaten you and those close to you!!

Worse still everyone around this person thinks they are a real "stand up guy", to top that they also have a certain amount of fame

and their own little following.

Now you find yourself in a position where you want TO FORGET....

but you can't.

they penetrate your thoughts night and day.

You feel sickened to think you fancied them....to think of the number of times....

You can't think about sex!!!!

You can't even CONSIDER a relationship!!!!!!

It would make quite a good peice of fiction...if it wasn't!!

Anyway, THIS JUST HAPPENED TO ME!!

Any advice anyone???????

Thanxalot :smile:

 

[marleyisalegend]

That's why I always ignore my impulses, getting to know someone is a process because nobody will meet you and say "Hey, I'm crazy as fuck! I'll slash your tires! I'll call your job 30 times a day! I'll sleep with all your friends! I'll lie to you and steal from you!"

I get over by simply realizing that there are plenty of other people on the planet, no point getting hung up on one person. You deserve better, so focus on finding someone better instead of obssessing over someone who isn't worth your time.

First impressions are NOT the most important thing because they're often fake, people put up a front to seem more appealing, that's how they lure you in. It's better to sit back, observe, and withhold judgment.

I do know exactly what you mean. I've met some great people who seemed so nice but turned out to be complete ass-hats. My motto is to trust no one until each individual proves otherwise, that way you can avoid the whole "I never saw this coming, he seemed like such a great guy!" scenario.

 

[nudeyorker]

I'm really very sorry that happened to you. My first piece of advice is that if they made threats to you or your family;if it was verbal make a record of it and recall all the details that you can and have it witnessed and signed by a notary. If it was on paper or on your telephone answering machine, please keep the evidence.
Now this is really the difficult part. Your emotions are yours and if you let him continue to manipulate them; he still has control on you.
The sooner you regain your strength to your situation and feelings the better. There is no real easy clear cut way to do this, but I will offer what little advice I can. (I'm sorry but I repeating the same advice I gave someone else here recently) You meet people in life and have relationships and they end for a reason, so that you can learn something and move on. Eventually these lessons pay off because you are able to have the relationship with the right person. Good Luck with everything!

 

[Amber1]

I'm really very sorry that happened to you. My first piece of advice is that if they made threats to you or your family;if it was verbal make a record of it and recall all the details that you can and have it witnessed and signed by a notary. If it was on paper or on your telephone answering machine, please keep the evidence.

I have sum evidence recorded but really don't want to have to use it....just want to forget....

Now this is really the difficult part. Your emotions are yours and if you let him continue to manipulate them; he still has control on you.

Yeah....the worst part is he is quite famous and when I hear someone say a good word about him I just want to scream!!!!

Thanks for your advice tho...

 

[nudeyorker]

Amber...If you feel like screaming and breaking things do it. Let it all out! When you hear people say nice things about him smile to youself...because you know the truth and they don't!

 

[Amber1]

I'll try (to smile that is)....I have SUCH a temper when I'm mad....

takes a while to get there but..... :smile:

 

[D_Andreas Sukov]

i think what you need to do (after and during the fabulous advise from nudeyorker) is to try and figure out what you've learned from this. if you manage that, it wont ever happen again

 

[D_Andreas Sukov]

and on readind the fabulous advice i find im just repeating his conclusion. well hopefully that will reiterate it and yes, i am a klutz

 

[Principessa]

I regret to admit that maturity went out the window when this happend to me in the past. :redface: My gut reaction was revenge/vengeance. To hurt or at least inconvenience him as much as he had me.

Along with other women, it seemed he loved his car more than me. So while he was at his night job I gently let the air out of two tires. The front left and rear right tire. Since we were in NJ and not the Australian Outback he only had one spare. :biggrin1: I later found out through the grapevine he was reprimanded for being late to his day job as no one believed he had 2 flat tires. :tongue: Two weeks later, I tapped his car just hard enough to set off his car alarm. I dunno about now, but back in the day his alarm operated off the battery. Since he was working the graveyard shift, by the time he finished his shift the battery was dead. Thereby making him late for his day shift yet again.

Two months later I happend upon a scrap of paper with the PIN to the keypad for his car and so for a lark and the final coup de grace. I stole his distributor cap and locked the car back up while he was at his day job. Did I mention, he was a mailman? So at the end of the day he was often tired and just wanted to go home. Imagine the frustration of having your car not start.

I told you I didn't have a mature response. However, it did make me feel better. :smile:

 

[Amber1]

LMAO at the above post!!!

Ah well....perhaps maturity is sometimes overated eh??? :biggrin1:

 

[nudeyorker]

LMAO at the above post!!!

Ah well....perhaps maturity is sometimes overated eh??? :biggrin1:

I think it's better to take the high road because I believe in karma but.... I'm all in favor of taking the low road as long as you don't get caught. Because your pristine fabulous reputation has to be better than his. Don't get caught taking the low road! If you need hints...PM me!
But you get over it faster taking the high road!

 

[wseattle]

fucking with him one time might have been ok but after that was just plain evil.. consider taking a look at yourself in the mirror..but in fairness to you ,you never mentioned what you were angry about?? maybe he deserved it lol.. anyways peace love and high times

 

[Amber1]

fucking with him one time might have been ok but after that was just plain evil.. consider taking a look at yourself in the mirror..but in fairness to you ,you never mentioned what you were angry about?? maybe he deserved it lol.. anyways peace love and high times

Hold on a sec hon!!!

Is that directed at me?

If you read what I posted...it doesn't say I fucked with him!!

Quite the oppositte!!

I was lied to for months...When I found out and told his partner he threatened me and my family!!!

Turns out his partner/expartner hates him too now!!!

Anyway I NEVER said I'd done anywrong....

We are talking about someone who comes accross as very charming here....but at the same time not at all egotistical.

So you would be shocked if you found out what the real person was like underneath!!!!!

I'm normally a pretty good judge of character...and he had me FOOLED!!

 

[Xcuze]

Quite famous hey? Any hints? TV? Sports?

Dont tease, dear....

 

[WellHung83]

Daniel Radcliffe lol ?

 

[hung15us]

A person told me once IT HAPPENS FOR THE BEST. Years later looking back he was right it was best that I got out of it. I have not forgotten that statement. 43 years ago. So when things happen like with you I go back and remember what he said. At the moment it doesn't seem so but a couple years later look back and thank god you are out of it.

 

[Amber1]

Daniel Radcliffe lol ?

Honey purlease!!! As if!!! :biggrin1::biggrin1:

 

[Amber1]

A person told me once IT HAPPENS FOR THE BEST. Years later looking back he was right it was best that I got out of it. I have not forgotten that statement. 43 years ago. So when things happen like with you I go back and remember what he said. At the moment it doesn't seem so but a couple years later look back and thank god you are out of it.

Hey, thanx for that!! :smile:

 

[MickeyLee]

you NEVER hurt the car!!! the car is an innocent bystander in a bad relationship!!! :nono:

ML

on the OP - you told his partner and he got angry? well, of course he got angry, you crossed the line. when you found out he was being less than honest it seems like you acted out of spite, trying to hurt him as much as he hurt you. not a nice thing to do from any vantage point.

as far as getting over it? admit you got played. admit your ego is more wounded than your heart. avoid his kine in the future. for now, boot strap your pride and walk away. if nothing else you never let him know he got under your skin. dwelling and being resentful will just keep fresh hurt bleeding.

you can never justify your own less than kosher actions by the negativity of another person.

 

[Garth33]

Hey, thanx for that!! :smile:

It REALLY does happen to all of us and you will be fine Amber...NOW you can tell us? Was it this guy?

'cause he always SEEMED like a prick to me!:wink::biggrin1: (SEE! I think you might even be smiling at this:smile: - best of luck!)